Weasel1966

In order to keep life moving along on my sober schedule I have learned to not pay attention to my sense of obligation. That second thought or feeling like if I do this or that I will be doing the right thing by someone. Basically doing something I feel I should do.

Let me be clear.... I have never been a should do'er so maybe this lesson is more of just who I am and now I am taking a stand with an actual meaning behind it other than my trying not to be an ass to people.

I found out that a friend... A good friend from where I used to live... got busted for driving drunk. Not just drunk but over THREE times the legal limit. I feel compelled to console and council. I can do neither. She will certainly lose so so much in this process. I have been arrested and know the feeling. She happened to have hit someone before she got caught. No one hurt ...

No... I have to attend to me. Sorry.

A close friend ... Very much closer at one time than the previously mentioned... His daughter was murdered. Domestic violence. Words cannot describe. She was his and mine drug dealer. Yes... His daughter was his drug dealer. He elevated my drug use to grand levels. I want very much to reach out.

No... I have to attend to me. Sorry.

Out of silliness I friended someone on Facebook from where I used to live. What the heck? Short term memory loss or something on my part. Every post has drinking or is in a bar of some type. Sad to witness what I was like. We were often in the same places. De-friended.

No... I have to attend to me. Sorry.

If I cannot say no to others I have to ask if I can say no to me?

No is no. No is a complete sentence. No is what I have trained my mind to accept.

No means yes to living my life.

No. I have to attend to me. Sorry.

That sentiment needs to be actionable or I won't make it out of this life alive!

PurpleKnight

Ken, I am soo sorry for all the things that have been happening around you recently, it can't be easy, but you need to look after YOU first and no one else . . . we'll back you all of the way!!

biminiblue

Well done, Ken.

I've recently had to stand up to some stuff too. I've spent a lot of years learning to stand up to stuff, because - no, I have to attend to me.

People have called me selfish. Well, you're entitled to that selfish opinion.

People have called me cold. Well, it's pretty warm here in my secure untroubled life.

People have called me a b!tch. They say that like it's a bad thing.

Weasel1966

Thanks PK!

BMB ... That's freaking awesome! Well said and good for you!

Soberpotamus

Well done, and be proud of taking care of you!

Weasel1966

OOOHHHH!!!!! I am so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I am sitting here thinking of these things I got a text from New York.... This person that just got the DUI was out partying Saturday!!!!!!

Are you serious????????

Ok. F people. I am fine with not contacting her. F her. She is lost.

Ok.... I need to just move on.

PurpleKnight

People can be unbelievable sometimes Ken!!

Keep looking forward, what other people do is their problem!! . . . you got this!!

EndGameNYC

Didn't matter how much I learned, how much I thought I knew, or how much I thought I was a "nice guy." I was careless to the point of delusion and relentlessly stupid. It wasn't "my disease" or a false self; it was who I was while I was drinking.

MythOfSisyphus

Well said, Ken! You're not good to anyone else until you can take care of yourself. You've got to be selfish not to be a decent human later.