J2911

Headaches are gone, energy returning, but the cravings at night are a &@$#%**! I've read every book I can about this subject. I ascribe to Vale's philosophy (Kicking the Drink....Easily) that if we continue to think we are depriving ourselves of something "good,fun,enjoyable...." We set ourselves up for failure. I'm trying with all my might to make the mental switch but I feel like I'm getting weaker and Dear God I don't want to cave. Give me some tricks of the trade, a silver bullet, a golden rule....I'm so close to failure I can hear it's breath! aughhhh!

Coldfusion

Hi J2!

One trick that many use is AA. Have you thought about going to a meeting?

J2911

I know this is prideful but my addiction has been in the closet and I'm very well known in my community. I am too scared at who I might see and worse who might see me. Are there online meetings? Do you know?

BobArctor

Lifering has online meetings

http://lifering.org/

SMART also has meetings
http://www.smartrecovery.org/

I have not tried the chat here yet. Hanging out in chat when having cravings seems like a good idea to me.

applecake

SR has two weekly general recovery meetings in the chat room. You would be most welcome to join us. They are Tuesday and Friday, 9:00 PM EST.

Going to a nightly meeting that first month really made a difference for me because it got me out of the house and in a safe environment during the times I would normally be drinking. Later, I hung out in the chatroom here at SR until I started to get stronger. It can get pretty lively in there.

PurpleKnight

What are you doing other than not drinking?

For me when I quit drinking, I had so much time on my hands, as I usually would fill so much time with drinking, so I would sit and cling on to just not drinking, but sitting around with so much time, usually thinking about drinking was a recipe for disaster.

To achieve longer term results I needed to revolutionise my lifestyle, new activities, new interests, planning things to do in the evenings, be so busy that I didn't have time to think about drinking anymore.

I had to sit back and think why was I getting Sober in the first place? was it not to unlock my potential in life, achieve things, follow my own journey in life, or did I quit to simply sit around bored thinking about alcohol, that doesn't sound much fun, so we got to start changing up our lifestyles to the life we want to achieve Sober, the life we decided to make the changes for!!

trachemys

Don't know if you've ever heard of this:

Play that tape to the end. If you started drinking now, how long would it be fun? When would it turn bad? How will you feel in the morning?

Hevyn

Hi J.

Good suggestions already - please know that it won't feel this way forever. Otherwise most of us would never make it. I felt the same as you for awhile - but it all got better and easier. The anxiety eventually left me - I calmed down and began to feel so thankful for the new tranquility. You will get there.

Mentium

I hesitated going to AA locally because I was quite senior in my local organization (retired now). I went anyway in the end and not only was there nobody I knew there, nobody cared who I was, only that I was like them and in need of support and help. A really welcoming and non-judgmental place! A couple of groups I go to are attended by MDs and lawyers..

Of course your community might be different, but please don't let that factor stop you from getting sober. I am not a huge AA 'type' but it keeps me sober where nothing else has.

Soberpotamus

Hi! Have you read about urge surfing yet? Sounds like that might help you out right now.

ElleDee

I know the feeling. I've also been reading "Kick the Drink" --- fantastic book! AA isn't for everyone. I've been trying do do the AA thing and I'm not a fan. Do what works for you.

Milove14

I am only a few days in - but I can say that walking on the treadmill for as long as I can when I get home from work helps. I have been making a healthy dinner and then having a bowl of ice cream, which also helps. I read a post from someone on a similar thread "have some ice cream - no one wants a drink when they are eating ice cream". I have found this to be true!

DoubleDragons

I made a point of planning things in the evening (even running for errands). Book clubs, yoga classes, being the driver for kids that needed picked up, etc. etc. If I had to go to bed crazy early, then I did. I am a little over nine months sober and most nights, drinking no longer even crosses my mind.

gardendiva

I know its controversial but FOR ME non-alcoholic beer helps a lot.

Dee74

Non alcoholic beer just made me want the real thing. It reinforced the associations I had about drinking rather than breaking them.

I think you're better off looking at your routine at night J2911 - mix it up up a little - if you're usually sitting around watching TV - get up and do something instead...

if you cook dinner at a certain time, change that...go for a walk, get interested in hobbies, new interests, read a book, take a bath, read and post here more...

whatever you need to do to break those 'night time' associations

D

ZeldaFan

For me it was about changing my routine. First, this meant lots of video games (something I used to love and lost to drinking). Then I started getting back into computer and doing stuff around the house. This last time I slipped I think I got too set in my routine. I have learned I have to keep changing things up to keep my mind occupied. As soon as I take that away, the AV finds his way back in.

least

What helped me stay sober in the early months was gratitude. Just being grateful for all my blessings. It made me realize how much I could lose if I drank again. We have a gratitude forum here. Try posting there at least once a day for something you're grateful for. It helped me a lot.

J2911

Just got home from work and about to embark on my evening of cravings so I'm doing what most of you suggest....going for a hike (changing the routine!!). Thanks so much to all of you. I'm depending on your wisdom more than you might realize!!