walkbeformakrun

I'm sober now for 18 days and feeling good. I've been wanting to do this for a long time. Well, not exactly. I wanted to cut back to a few drinks now and then. I tried that and it never worked out for me. I see from reading here that is a pretty typical pattern.

Then I saw an therapist with expertise in treating addictions. Not for this reason ironically. He also deals with PTSD and I was seeing him for EMDR therapy. I did not even talk about my drinking for a very long time. It eventually came up and after two weekly session talking to him about it, I decided to quit completely.

I have a crutch of sorts though. I take Antabuse.

I know that if I did not, I'd drink a lot less bc of the insight my counselor has lead me to. However, I also know that would be temporary and soon I'd be back to my old ways.

I also have my triggers that cause me to really want to drink. Hard. That make me wish I'd not have taken that Antabuse. I sit in the dark, in pain, dying for a drink. It passes soon enough but I know I'd have a drink before that if not for that drug in my system. I have tested it, back in the days when I was using it to try to cut back but not quit. I have no desire to test it again.

For both of these reasons I feel weak. I should be able to do this without the drug. If it is the right thing, why am I dependant on this drug to make it happen?

Then there are the side effects. No drug is without them. Granted they are a lot less significant than drinking would cause. Still, at some point I need to give up this crutch, right?

I'd love to hear from those that do take or have taken Antabuse to stop them from drinking. I will keep taking it as long as I have to, even the rest of my life.

Thepatman

I don't have experience with Antabuse personally.

But if you are sure you will drink without it, I would say stick to it until you have gathered more recovery time and strength.

You doctor can surely assist you in stopping the Antabuse when you are ready

Stay strong!

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

I didn't take antabuse...I suffered through the obsession to drink and made it out the other side. You will too. If antabuse is keeping you sober, fine. Once you get a solid foundation of recovery under you, you probably won't need it.

You'll notice I said "recovery" not "sobriety" Not drinking it good, but we still need to address the reasons we drank and learn how to live sober...or we go back to the bottle. A program of recovery does that.

trachemys

I quit last year, then quit quitting.

This year, I've traded crutches, too. My medical doctor gave me three months of bupropion(generic wellbutrin). The affects has been nothing short of astounding. I've had no withdrawal symptoms, no cravings, none of the usual anxiety and depression that would come after quitting drinking.

Traded crutches, yes. I don't care. I'm not killing myself drinking anymore.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum, it's great to have you onboard!!

I personally didn't use antabuse, but I do think Sobriety is more than simply not drinking, for me only doing that never created any long term results, in the first few weeks it can be about chalking up enough Sober time for cravings to subside a little, but after that I found that if I didn't revolutionise my lifestyle into one completely different from the one that used to facilitate alcohol then my Sobriety would be short lived.

So I guess there has to be a point that with a change to a more longer term perspective on what your trying to achieve, a Sober lifestyle, would that take out the need for antabuse further down the road? as others have said you may then be living on your own new found strength and not the bottled version.

walkbeformakrun

Thanks for the responses so far.

I'm motivated to stay sober for many reasons. These reason keep me taking the Antabuse. I don't feel in danger of stopping. My urges to drink usually pass in minutes or hours at most. This stuff stays in your system for 48 or more hours. I'd have to want to give up being sober for two days straight before I could actually give it up. I don't see that happening.

So far a problem I have, in addition to wanting to drink when stressed, is that I feel boring to others. My wife says so too. We seem boring to each other. Better than drunken fighting but still not great.

I also thought I'd feel better, especially mentally. I still wake up in a fog. I still have a really bad memory. Maybe a few days sober is not enough to realize any benefits? Maybe the most I can hope for is not to do more damage?

walkbeformakrun

What did you do as far as life style changes?

Before I quit I started running again. I found that I can run in the morning and then drink all day.

Before I quit I started meditating. I can be a monk in the morning and then drink all day.

SoberCAH

I took Antabuse for the first 15 - 16 months after completing 35 days of in-patient treatment.

It was no substitute for working a recovery program, which I continue to do.

But even if it helped only a little, so be it because I needed all the help I could get.

I know the distinction between being dry and sobriety/recovery, but you can't have the latter without the former and i wanted every bit of available assistance.

Please stay with us, don't drink or use and work whatever recovery program you have chosen.

ScottFromWI

Make a plan that fills out the entire day. That might be as extreme as inpatient rehab for 30 days or as simple as keeping a calendar of what you plan on doing each day. Or maybe use a support method like AA/NA that has daily meetings to give you some accountability.

The bottom line is that it's your choice take the first drink or not, and once you take the first drink you willingly accept whatever happens thereafter.