Luper

Just wanted to thank everyone for your support. I think SR is amazing. Hang in there everyone and keep fighting. I just don't care anymore because I know what is right and I just don't do it.

Love to all!

caboblanco

give me a break Luper ..really?

PurpleKnight

Hey Luper, don't give up, I spent a long time between deciding to change my drinking, as you say, what the right thing to do was, and finally achieving it, the gap between the two was years.

You can do it, there has to be something inside us all that can do it, or I'd be still drinking, you gotta hang in there!!

Mairie

Hi Luper Sorry to hear that you're feeling defeated Sadly though, once we know we have a problem, we can't 'unknow' it, so we can never relax and enjoy alcohol again.

Perhaps, take time out from the forums and come back when you're ready? Hope to see you posting soon

AlcoholFree66

[QUOTE=Mairie;4764020]Hi Luper Sorry to hear that you're feeling defeated Sadly though, once we know we have a problem, we can't 'unknow' it, so we can never relax and enjoy alcohol again.

So true Mairie!

doggonecarl

Then do it. Do what it takes.

nmd

Just keep trying, its worth the struggle

bookmaven

Are you ready for things to get worse? Alcoholism is a progressive disease. There are only three boxes you will eventually end up in: the box with bars for walls, the box with padded walls, or the box 6 feet under. Or you can choose recovery. No it's not easy. Recovery is hard work that has to be attended to daily. Still, it's better than being in prison, a mental hospital, or dead.

Dee74

It took me fifteen years to stop Luper.

That voice in your head telling you you can't do this is a liar.
It's your addicted self trying to preserve itself.

Fight it Luper - you wouldn't be here if you were happy with how things are.

D

MIRecovery

What are you doing that is not working? Wishing and will power are seldom enough.

Make a list of things that didn't work, post it, and ask for advice

Luper

bookmaven - you are totally right, and I know. I could be my brothers twin. We were close and he died from this. Believe me, I know.

The only person I have is my son.. He is 26 and will be fine.

Luper

You guys are right. It's just the underlying issues. I am getting help with that, but early into my CBT program...........

Dee74

There is always the opportunity to write a new ending to your story Luper.

I'm sure your son loves his mom, and if you asked him if he'd 'be ok' I'm certain I know what his answer would be....

Get some rest and look after yourself Luper.

We'll still be here

D

Jeni26

Luper.... Having sustained sobriety gives us the best chance of overcoming our issues. Anxiety, depressions, grief...they are all real and can be debilitating. But they can all be overcome with the right help.

I have suffered from depression in the past. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and a dissociative disorder. I am currently battling with anxiety and insomnia.

SR (including you) is an enormous support to me, just as counselling and medication and working the steps of AA have been. I just couldn't be doing this without support, even though I sometimes try and convince myself I can.

And my sobriety started here in the newcomers thread. Talking about my failures and triumphs is what kept me afloat.

We understand how hard this is. No-one judges you as harshly as you seem to be judging yourself. If you need extra f2f support, go find it. But I think it would be a huge mistake to let go of SR.

We are on your side Luper and we stick together. Hugs to you x

Croissant

These sound like drinking words? I assume if you said you can't do it, you've already gone and bought more alcohol?

Alcohol and your addiction are lying to you....honestly....I had a slip in October last year and I felt like the devil himself had come to get me. It passed through my mind I didn't even care anymore, F$&@ it, it's got my tail, I'm done....I'll probably end up homeless. I don't care, let me drown.

It was ugly.

Somehow the sober me inside, turned that beast upside down....I knew I just had to keep alcohol OUT of my system and fight on.

It's a fight, Luper - and it can get damn ugly. But if I'm worth it, I bet you are too. Please hold on.

Mountainmanbob

(Romans 7:15 ESV)
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.



but are not yet perfected until the day of redemption

by walking “not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit”

by not “setting their minds on the things of the flesh, but … on the things of the Spirit”

by the indwelling presence of “the Spirit of God who dwells in you”

Mountainman