Landed face first
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Landed face first
Ok I have lurked enough hiding in my self pity and shame.
I crashed and once again underestimated how chronic of an Alcoholic I am.
I binged for the last week and am to the point that eating food is not even appealing, when I eat I feel like hell, when I drink I feel like hell.
Not even sure if I posted this, but I did manage to get to my first AA. I was not sober but was welcomed with the most awesome people. Managed to walk to the front and get my chip and have a panic attack.
I listened and cried, I am most definitely going back. First it's detox time. I want to go back sober out of respect for the program members. I could tell the lady beside me was not comfortable with my smell. Yikes
All good, I must remain positive and keep my humor Only things that's keeping me from buying a long rope. LOL!
I crashed and once again underestimated how chronic of an Alcoholic I am.
I binged for the last week and am to the point that eating food is not even appealing, when I eat I feel like hell, when I drink I feel like hell.
Not even sure if I posted this, but I did manage to get to my first AA. I was not sober but was welcomed with the most awesome people. Managed to walk to the front and get my chip and have a panic attack.
I listened and cried, I am most definitely going back. First it's detox time. I want to go back sober out of respect for the program members. I could tell the lady beside me was not comfortable with my smell. Yikes
All good, I must remain positive and keep my humor Only things that's keeping me from buying a long rope. LOL!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I know the drill call 911 if things get out of hand.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I was just thinking about how great people are on SR, all of you.
I have family and they have given up, they simply don't get it as you guys do.
I think they see it as I could just snap out of this, that I am not strong.
Only you guys get how this is a" insert swearing here" emotional addiction that deep down we hurt.
Take care all and keep fighting the good fight as some say.
I have family and they have given up, they simply don't get it as you guys do.
I think they see it as I could just snap out of this, that I am not strong.
Only you guys get how this is a" insert swearing here" emotional addiction that deep down we hurt.
Take care all and keep fighting the good fight as some say.
There is no shame in asking for professional help for yourself if you find AA isn't enough.
AA is a great thing, but it does have its own set of difficulties. Try to go to different meetings at different locations until you find a few you like. I am really glad I went through my early days of sobriety in AA meetings.(I went to my first meeting at Day 3 and then went to 90 in 90.) I was able to be a basket case amongst people who not only understood but who were willing to help me when I asked. Those first few weeks were awful. It gets better. I know you've had several slips, so something's gotta change for you to make it stick!
AA is a great thing, but it does have its own set of difficulties. Try to go to different meetings at different locations until you find a few you like. I am really glad I went through my early days of sobriety in AA meetings.(I went to my first meeting at Day 3 and then went to 90 in 90.) I was able to be a basket case amongst people who not only understood but who were willing to help me when I asked. Those first few weeks were awful. It gets better. I know you've had several slips, so something's gotta change for you to make it stick!
Most importantly I am glad you are back. Secondly, any thoughts on what caused the binge? Obviously, we are alcoholics so there is that answer. However, I know that there is generally a catalyst....something that provokes the picking up of the drink. This is a challenging time of the year as so many people are drinking it seems and there are many events that include alcohol. I'm still learning about the people, places, and things that don't include alcohol. Stay strong. Keep reaching out.
I was just thinking about how great people are on SR, all of you.
I have family and they have given up, they simply don't get it as you guys do.
I think they see it as I could just snap out of this, that I am not strong.
Only you guys get how this is a" insert swearing here" emotional addiction that deep down we hurt.
Take care all and keep fighting the good fight as some say.
I have family and they have given up, they simply don't get it as you guys do.
I think they see it as I could just snap out of this, that I am not strong.
Only you guys get how this is a" insert swearing here" emotional addiction that deep down we hurt.
Take care all and keep fighting the good fight as some say.
We all have tremendous faith in you Pat, but I think you know that.
Take care.
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