petals

I was doing so well, got to day 6..... Saturday night.... had a good day( only 1 small disagreement.... ) then on way home we went to supermarket to buy tea..... I was hoping he wouldn't want wine..... I did however manage to persuaded him 1 bottle not 2..... car ride home I tried and tried to convince myself I wouldnt have any........
but I did I did manage to give hubby the big glass and for a chañge I had the smaller 1......
still very disappointed in myself....... now do I carry on beating myself up or try to let it go and move on? Sorry guys

JaneLane

Hi Petals,

Let go of the guilt! I relapsed recently and honestly, I can't get in a time machine and change it so there's no point in dwelling on it. That being said, I have been writing a lot and during meetings I've been figuring out what went wrong. It's really interesting because I always thought I dealt with stress effectively in my sobriety, but I've realised that I just hold it all in then I explode and self-medicate. So in that sense, taking stock is good but certainly move on. It's a new day!

Luper

Petals - let it go and move forward. Can't change the past.

I just threw away 20 days. Back on day 2. I know the horrible guilty feeling. I have relapsed several times myself.

But please don't dwell. Figure out what didn't work this time and make some changes to become stronger to fight it out next time that stupid AV comes knocking..!

Glad you came back and posted. I spend alot of time on here and the advice of others that have been though this is just priceless to me.

All the best!

Luper

Does your hubby support what you are trying to do? Personally, I cannot have any alcohol in my house.....I will drink every drop.

petals

thanks, i did think about not coming back to post but that would have been very silly.
re. hubby- he is obviously aware that i drink too much but cant quite grasp the fact that i don't know when to stop because he can..... should really have a heart to heart with him but as hes just started working away now is not the time because him being away is very difficult for both of us and i don't want to add to his worries.
am just going to do it alone(with you guys here of course) for the time being.
i had an ap on my phone, well a day counter really.... it was doing great then yesterday it reset itself to 0.... i should have tried harder......

BernieE

I'm new and struggling myself so can't offer any advice except to keep at it. You had 5 days out of 6, that's progress! Let it go and hop right back on.

HeadLump

So very glad you came back to post, petals! This is the place you need to be

Those 5 days weren't wasted. You will have learned so much from them. Now you've had a slip, but you've got straight back on it - that shows courage and determination.

Maybe post here before you take that first sip next time? We'll all rally round and support you!

LBrain

No need to apologize to us. We understand. Just get back to sober - whatever it takes.

Think of a way to avoid this mistake going forward.

Maybe he can get on board with supporting you and come to realization that his drinking is not good for you. If you discuss this as a team he should understand the struggles that we go through some times. Once you get a good foundation he should be able to have his glass of wine without it bothering you. But now he should support you.

I know that everyone is going to tell me it is your responsibility - heard it all already.
If he can't 'not' drink then tell him you can't be in his presence when he does. At least for now.
Good luck. Stay strong.

Nonsensical

A heart-to-heart is good, but don't expect him to understand why even after you have it. In fact, if he does understand why after your talk, hundreds of us on these boards would love to know your secret.

Welcome back. If beating oneself after a post-quit drinking were required I'd be one big welt. Keep searching for your sober path and one day you will find it. I did. It took me a long time, but I did.

Good Luck! You can do this.

trachemys

What do you want to do? What are you going to do?

petals

well i am not having any wine today! thats a good start. i will look at tomorrow later....

Mcribb

Don't beat yourself up. Sounds like you need to learn from your mistake and move on. If you need deep help try a recovery program.

Nuudawn

Sweetie...just looked at a couple of your threads. Given your strong emotional dependence on your husband, I am curious as to why you have not shared with him that you want to give up drinking?

Notmyrealname

If this event ends up being one point on a general trend line to success over time, there's no reason to beat yourself up about it. As the meme goes, "this is only a setback!" Figure out how to avoid this in the future and stick to it. I found that most of my drinking fell into just a few "buckets", so plugging a few different holes equated to a lot of improvement.

Now if you find yourself repeating this scenario over and over, well that might be time for kicking your own ass a little bit.

Mountainmanbob

the whole darn messed up thing can start for us with the smaller 1

as we have seen so many times before as self deception creeps back in

best to put the plug in the jug let it go and move on

MM

ZeldaFan

Hang in there petals. I went almost 8 months and let one drink spiral out of control for five days straight. It can really sneak up on you if you let your guard down for even a second. I learned that the hard way.

PurpleKnight

No point worrying about the past, it's done and can't be changed, go at it again and you'll get there, the main thing is to never give up!!