babygirl64

Ok, since my last post this is what has transpired in my life. I had to go over to my sponsors house to get my debit card back so I could buy fireworks that I told my 23 year old son I would but. And her, very opinionated husband was outside and one other CA member, so I told them about this app. And how great I so far thought it was. Sponsors husband said, the AA book will give you all the answers you need." And I told him that this was just another means of support and he said something that seemed negative. It's as though that since the CA program worked for him and his wife he is such a die hard believer that when he hears of my struggles he just doesn't understand and even had told me after my 2nd relapse that his wife was really trying to help me but I must not want it bad enough so I might as well "go out and keep using." I told him I do want sobriety very bad but I KNOW that the first 3--6 months is the hardest because of the way my brain has been rewired for a long time to say, "you need to just get high." So only with time can I get it back to sober thinking. The longest sobriety time I have had in years was 6 mos. But I left town for 5 of those months. My downfall when I did relapse, was that I got involved with and fell in love with an addict that I met at treatment and he graduated treatment before me but was waiting to go into a longer term one. So when I came back home, he had moved there so he had some place to live while he waited for an opening. So I was strong enough in my recovery that when I moved back to where my old stomping grounds were, I wasn't triggered. But after a few months of living with him and always fighting with him because he kept drinking and smoking spice behind my back and then flat out lying to me saying he wasn't that I just got so mad, frustrated, and didn't know what to do so I went and picked up crack! Now, after being with him on and off for the last two years, I'm through. But now that I have decided to try the 12 step recovery and I still have relapsed several times, I'm at my wits end. I just get to weak to keep fighting off the desires EVERY day when they start coming on. And I'm the only regular member at my CA fellowship that is struggling so then I get MORE frustrated and feeling hopeless. I have deleted any dealers numbers that I have in my phone but I've been " around the block" enough to know that out of the clear blue sky I could run into someone I use to know or find a number on a piece of paper I forgot I had. If I have another relapse then 1 of 2 things things will probably happen. Either I say, ok, I'll go back into the trmt program in another city since it worked before or I will decide that I can't overcome my addiction but I also can't live with it so I'll just stop living! Does anyone have any advice regarding any of this? Oh and I'm starting to get very angry with my sponsors husband also. HELP !

Mountainmanbob

it is true many thousands have gotten clean and sober with just the Big Book
but
there in nothing wrong with also seeking help in other places

this site has been of great help for many

anyone who would put this site down without knowing anything about it
I think to be a little cultish

I run into them all the time in AA

don't get me wrong -- I love AA, the people there and I attend many meetings

just for my sober tool belt -- I also include this site -- plus other things

MM

PurpleKnight

I wouldn't worry about your sponsor's husband's comments, there are many different methods of recovery, not a one size fits all, you just need to work out which is the best fit for you, and this includes maybe trying multiple things at once, I don't think you can ever have too much, so if SR is added to your list of methods then what's the harm.

From your story that relationship over the last couple of years wasn't doing you any favours in terms of remaining Sober, so that's probably a good thing to move on from, but don't beat yourself up too much for relapsing as you need to adjust from that relationship to following your new path of life.

Any addiction can be beaten, it can be done, hold onto that hope and don't give up, I spent a long time going round in circles of being Sober and then relapsing, the frustration was intense, go at things again, and keep it simple, 1 day at a time, you can do this!!

neferkamichael

Babygirl64, I wouldn't trust anyone who says 1st quote and please stay away from anyone who said quote #2. Please stay here. I consider SR the best place there is for healthy support. Nobody here is gonna treat you that way. Rootin for ya.

Fandy

most importantly...

WHY do these people have your debit card? no one should have this type of control over you, you are an adult, capable of making decisions and having opinions, even if they are different from theirs.

LBrain

thank you Fandy, my thoughts too.

Nonsensical

Sorry you're having a rough time. For some reason some people believe that the way they got sober is the ONLY way to get sober. There is plenty of evidence on this website to the contrary.

You have to find YOUR way. Keep searching, you will find it. Never give up. Never give up. Never, never, never, never give up.

You can do this.

DefconOne

Walk YOUR path and realize the journey is the destination.

Anna

I agree with Fandy.

That sounds like a very unhealthy relationship between the three of you.

babygirl64

Thanks everybody, I haven't figured out this website so when I send this I have no idea where it will go but everyone who responded to my, "I need help" gave me great support. I appreciate you all. There may still be comments I haven't read but like I said, I am still trying to figure out how to get around. I need to check into the 24 hour commitment thread. Today was another success, yea!

Nuudawn

So glad today was another success babygirl! It really makes me sad that folks have to run into stuff like what your sponsor's hubby said in AA/NA/CA ..heck...12 Step Recovery!. It is stuff like that, that turns folks off of the good that their is in this program (including myself).

I have only recently decided to return to 12 Step recovery precisely because of that sort of stuff. You see I have boundary and reaction issues. I need to learn how to "take what I need and leave the rest". I need to allow people to have their opinions and if I don't agree, I need to simply thank them for their input...give it some consideration...see where they are coming from.

That fella...well, he's coming from a place of fear and although well intentioned...it's not helpful information in that..there is really nothing wrong with MORE support and recovery.