Mimi9013

If you are still with your A, how do you relax? I use to have a glass of wine or a beer every once in awhile, but I feel like I can't have a drink and then get mad at AF for drinking. I know I don't have an addiction, and he does and that's the difference. I will have one beer and he will have at least a six pack. And if I don't drink whatever I buy that night, it will be gone in the morning! I bought one of those Straw-ber-rita's last night and didn't drink it because I was tired after all of the fireworks, but was going to have it tonight after work...only problem with that is, the empty can was in the trash this morning!!! Wth, I get so frustrated with him!!

And since I just turned this into a vent, he was supposed to buy sparklers yesterday when he got off work, because he works at the only place in our town that sells them(no tents in Illinois). I texted him at 7:45 pm to remind him and he confirmed he was getting them. I go to pick him up at 8 pm, and No SPARKLERS!! Ugh! He can't go back inside because the registers are closed already, so we have to drive 25 min over to Missouri to get sparklers for our daughter, my nephew, and my 11 yo sister. So it's after 9 when we get back, and the kids are tired and were sad because we missed the big display!!!

I think he makes me more mad when he does crap like that sober! Because then, he has no excuse(not that drinking is one, but he thinks it is)!!!
Please tell me I'm not crazy for being upset?! I feel like it's different when he lets the kids down than it is when he lets me down. They don't understand, and I feel so bad for them I don't know what's stopping me from being done...he still isn't back to the full swing drinking he was, but I have a feeling that it's coming back

So...what does everyone do to relax that doesn't involve having a drink

Carlotta

He will drink whether you drink or not. Why should you deprive yourself of a little pleasure (I assume that you are not an alcoholic here) for someone who is not committed to his own recovery?
Now if he was serious and in recovery, you might want to be supportive (especially in early sobriety) by not keeping alcohol in the house. Some alcoholics find it stressful others are ok with it. But even in this case, it would still be your call.
Depriving yourself of a beer or a glass of wine is a futile attempt at controlling his drinking. If he is not in recovery, he will drink whether you drink or not.

Carlotta

I do not mean any offense but this last question concerns me a bit. It is a question very often ask in the Alcoholism, newcomer section. Normies know how to relax without booze whether it is by doing a hobby, exercizing or simply watching tv or reading a book.
You might want to look at your own relationship with alcohol too
Once again, I do not mean any offense: I am not only part of the Friends and Family group but I am also an alcoholic in recovery.

Mango blast

I used to run or bike to relax. I plan to be able to do that again soon. Meditation is fantastic for relaxation. It took me a long time to start doing it and I'm still learning, but even a few minutes of meditation a couple times a day de-stresses me now.

Mimi9013

Carlotta, I don't take offense! I'm not an alcoholic, I guess I should've worded the question differently. I read occasionally and go for walks. I meant more like what does everyone else do to relax? I rarely(like once every few months) have a drink. I partied a little in college but I quickly got over that whole thing, especially after I had my daughter(I'm 24, so I had about a year where I partied a lot at school, then a couple years of going out maybe once a month). I think that's why I started taking more notice to the fact that AF has a problem. After I turned 21, I really settled down, and after I had our daughter, my social life is pretty nonexistent. It made me realize that he didn't just like to drink, or he would've settled down too, especially after becoming a parent. But since nothing changed, and may have gotten worse, I realized that he really is an alcoholic and if having a child wouldn't wake him up to stop, nothing will.

allysen

I don't live with my A any more, but when I did: Yoga at a community centre (aka. not in the house with the A!). Long baths, with a book and music playing (so I couldn't hear him). Chamomile tea while laying in bed alone at night with Netflix.

BoxinRotz

I play with the dogs while I lay on the couch, go swimming, hunting, browse the web, go for a walk, watch tv... my alcoholic is in recovery atm so life is pretty good right now. We actually do these things together except the hunting. He doesn't hunt.