Tetra

Okay, so I am 33 years old and I live with my parents. I have been sober for 8 months.

My parents are going on holiday next week for about 3 weeks. They live way out the country so I will be staying at my Grans in the city. It turns out, my Gran is also going on holiday for a week with my aunts so I will be alone for 8 days. My sister is also going away with her husband, but they don't live close by.

This is an opportunity I would have loved to have had in the past, and I have been looking forward to it, but as time draws nearer, I am getting nervous.

I feel great that my family feel that they can trust me again. But I have just come back from a holiday in France where I was surrounded by alcohol, and I admit I was tempted to drink there.

I am a creature of habit, and I like my routine. I have lived alone before and I hated it.

My whole family are looking forward to their holidays, and they deserve it. My Gran had an operation two months ago, and we thought she was dying at one point. Her doctor even told me that Gran made a "miraculous recovery".

It would be very selfish of me to mess this up for them. I will be in the city so I have no excuses. There are meetings just around the corner and I hope to go for long walks on the prom. I will be meeting my friend for a trip to the cinema and I have my uncles phone number in case I get into trouble. I have also bought a stack of new books.

Nights were awful for me when I lived alone. I did most of my drinking at night in my flat. My Gran says I have to abide by three rules: feed myself properly, feed the pet and don't answer the door to strangers. My dad also added don't burn the house down and lock the door if I'm going out.

I am still getting nervous though. Does anyone have any advice?

Eddiebuckle

Tetra,

If you never do anything new, you cannot expect things to change. It sounds like you have thought this through pretty well, the only thing I would add is maybe it would help to reach out to the group that meets - before you get there - and explain your situation. Getting phone numbers in advance of the trip would give you the chance to speak to some of them and maybe make plans with other sober people to fill in the hours that you would otherwise be alone.

I know that I had a rough time being alone with nothing to do in early sobriety. Your concerns are normal, the important thing is to have a plan in place beforehand to keep things on track.

PurpleKnight

You can do this Tetra, relax and do what you have been doing, reading, go for a coffee etc!!

SR will be here too if you're needing some extra support!!

aborkie

You know the drill. Start drinking again and have tremendous regret or understand your an alcoholic and stay sober with no regrets. It's a pretty easy decision.

HeadLump

When you lived alone before, Tetra, you were a different person and had different expectations of yourself. Now you're 8 months sober and far more responsible. I think you'll relish having the place to yourself - having no-one to belittle you or drive you mad! This is space that you've worked very hard to earn

Go to the meetings, go for walks and read your books. As Eddie says, get phone numbers and reach out if you need to.

But celebrate the new, responsible, trustworthy adult that you are. You're not about to let anyone down - least of all youself xx

Hawkeye13

This^

You've earned their trust back, and of course that makes you a bit nervous.

But you can do it, and it is a good practice run for when you move out on your own again after you find the right job.

You've grown an enormous amount in the last eight months.
We can see it even if you can't

KissMyTiara

So agree with the above posts. You're a grown woman now. You can't live with your parents or family forever. You've learned so much about yourself and sobriety in the last 8 months. You have to test your wings. This isn't a forever right now. It's just 8 days. Make it thru this. Bigger and better things await you.

Straightshoot

Tetra, I agree with those who say you have matured. Do you know the Bobby McFerrin song "Don't worry, be happy". If you listen it may make you feel more confident.

Prynne

Concentrate on this - you've obviously done a great deal of growing. Don't be ashamed of being tempted to drink, be proud that you haven't.

We'll be here at SR to talk to the entire holiday!

Stoogy

Hi Tetra,
I too faced the exact same scenario recently when I was at just over 6 months sober, alone for 2 weeks in time gone by would have me in party mode and drinking myself silly all day every day, but being sober I was dreading the time alone and I knew it would be my sternest test of sobriety to date, and I knew also that if I got through that 2 week spell sober I would feel although I can finally win this personal battle with the booze.

I got through it Sober, I faced it head on and I won my small battle, and you will do exactly the same thing a Tetra and come out the other end of this a stronger person for the experience.

I have faith in you Tetra, you have 8 months remember.

M88RHM

Hi Tetra,

I stopped drinking on Monday and now It's Saturday and my first night home alone as my Fiancé has gone to watch the Tennis in London. I had been really anxious about tonight but it is working out ok so far. I visited family, went for a drive in the country, did housework, had a long bath and came to check in at SR. Keep busy doing worthwhile things and it'll be ok. Think about your Parents coming home to a nice tidy house and you can honestly say that didn't have a drink. Someone on here said that "what used to be boredom is now serenity" and that works for me. You can do it.

Fandy

Tetra,
You are 33 years old, not 15! a responsible ADULT. many people live alone and have pets, enjoy the peace and quiet, enjoy the city and your friends, enjoy the good weather, have a little fun, do some exploring.
you can be scared at first, but if you open your eyes, you just might enjoy yourself.
No one has the luxury of someone to hold their hand all the time.
congrats on the 8 months!! your family TRUSTS you. that is huge.

least

I know you can come thru this experience sober.

Dee74

I agree with the others here Tera - you're a grown woman in recovery - you can do this.
You also know where to go for help, if you need it.

Enjoy the peace and space

D