J2911

....I've been fine (day 19) with temptation up til now. Recently I rented an RV for a week and I'm totally looking forward to it. I'm having trouble fixating on an opportunity I will have during the trip. The first night I pick up the RV I will have it all to myself (the next day I pick up family) I keep contemplating that night and how easy it would be to have a nice campfire and just get hammered. Many family members know I've quit drinking so it's an opportune time to relapse without anyone knowing. I don't want to lead a double life but I can't seem to let go of this drinking fantasy. I hope this is normal thinking and I'll just get through it but right now it's consuming me. How do I deal with this obsessive thought as well as the ones to come? Please tell me this gets easier! If I feel deprived, I'm bound to relapse so I need some tools here.

FeelingGreat

hi J2911, it's great that you've posted here when you feel this way. Your fantasies are your AV taking advantage of the fact that you have the opportunity to drink. It's going all-out isn't it. How do you fight it?
-Recognise it for what it is and ignore it
-Plan some activity that won't tempt you. Is there a family member you can collect early?
-Play out the tape of how you'll feel after 19 days if you cave now, and how much stronger you'll be if you don't
-Trust yourself and your inborn strength

The thing is you have to be determined not to drink. Once you recognise your strength and ability to do this, you'll come up with your own strategies.

PurpleKnight

It gets easier, you just need to get through a few hurdles in the early days!!

Think, even write down, what is drinking going to do for you? . . . seriously, the mind can create a romanticised nostalgic event that is going to happen in the future, but the reality is you'll get hammered and have a hangover in the morning, is that really going to be a great experience?

To throw away any period of Sobriety alcohol would need to be offering a lot more on the table than a hangover and the feelings of regret that will come with it tomorrow morning, from experience it rarely brings much to the table, only empty promises.

You don't NEED that drink to have a good time tonight, the RV and a campfire sounds pretty cool on their own!!

You got this, don't let alcohol feed you lies!!

J2911

Thank you both for good wisdom and insight, it is really helpful. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I went to several neighborhood BBQ's tonight. The first fourth I haven't drank in a long time. I will admit, social situations are a bit boring. I hope I begin to enjoy socializing without drink because I had to really focus on listening tonight to people and they were not entertaining without me drinking. My idea of "fun" is going to have to change. Speaking of listening to others, I want to give Purplenight a shout out for being an asset and inspiration to SR. You are consistently empathetic yet not enabling, encouraging and obviously speak from the heart. I often look when I see your icon to see what you tell others because it usually helps me as well. Thank you for using your victory in the area of sobriety to unselfishly help others!

PurpleKnight

Great job on not drinking and pushing through!!

Waterfalls2014

Hi J2911, great post. I find this familiar to me also. Sometimes the brain gets overwhelmed with thoughts of the old us. I used to plan and over plan ways to get just 1 free day so I could spend it trashed. But the thing that never changed was the hangover. You probably don't want to spend the first day with your family hung over. You can enjoy your you time by doing a nature activity sober. Try collecting leaves and putting them in a book. Or see if there's any movies you can go see in the closest town. Find something you enjoy and have a plan. You can do it. Best wishes!

aborkie

My bet is that you'll have a bad experience. Sure it might be fun for a little while, but it's just not worth it, so remember you are not depriving yourself in any way. You have to want to be sober.

hankfrank

Been there many times (in fact this past Thursday night). Family was gone and oh how much fun I would have! Stupid Stupid. I wasted not only that night but the entire next day. It's so simple when you really think about it. Maybe roast some marshmellows or a weenie or two. Think of other pleasures...take a flashlight and go out on an adventure in the dark in the woods. That will get your heart pounding. Be strong and beat this thing down to a pulp!