whatsgoingon

Hi all,

I'm on day 8 today and although I'm pleased with my progress I have noticed that I'm suddenly getting really bored.

My evenings used to be taken up by drinking eating and cooking followed by watching TV or going on the Internet or whatever. Now that I'm sober I'm finding my evenings sooooooo boring. It seems that it was only the alcohol that was making them interesting! It would appear I was quite content in my alcohol fueled daze.

So what's all that about? Is my life really that dull? Is this what life is like when we are sober?

Any ideas? Realistic ones that is. I've got a wife and two kids so going out to start a new hobby is not going to happen. I don't like board game, crosswords or sudoku. Reading and watching tv is only good for a while. I need to find something though as I'm going stir crazy.

Songtx

I'm in the same boat! I find sometimes taking an evening walk after dinner can break things up. I'm not one to ask though, as I am still battling with the same issue..utter boredom! I feel like it won't last forever. Good luck to you!

Croissant

That old chestnut!

Yeah, those hours seem HUGE to fill, when newly sober.

How old are your children? Do they have a good bedtime routine you could get more involved in? Reading a book, or doing a hobby with them?

I spent a lot of time just reading about recovery in the beginning, going for a walk after work. Or jump on the exercise bike while I watched tv. Something, anything, to fill the time.

Totally understand....it does pass though!

Sasha4

The first month I had to work at the evenings and weekends.
I have a 4 year old too so going off somewhere every night was not an option for me either.

That first months I did what I could to occupy my mind.
None of it was vastly exciting.
But I found if I just sat around, my thoughts wandered to drinking.

I gutted the kitchen, cleaned out junk, got off the sofa and switched off the telly, did exercise, did jobs round the house. Sometimes I would go for a walk with my little girl, we played in the park, we went swimming, we sorted out toys.
I gave stacks away to the charity shop.

I cooked meals for the freezer.
I researched different meals to make for everyone.
I sorted out bills, important documents.
I made different drinks - non alcoholic stuff like ginger and cranberry.
I went for a drive for an hour with my music turned up.
I went to bed early and read on my laptop here at SR.
I drank a lot of tea.
I watched films.
I went to the canal and took bread and fed the ducks.
I sold stuff on ebay.

I did anything I could that would stop me going down the route of stopping on the way home from work and buying drink and spending another evening drunk.

After a while it got easier.
I'm over 2 years now without a drink.
It comes naturally now, I promise.
I cannot imagine sitting and drinking every evening like I used to now. It would seem strange.
You will get to this point too, I promise.
If you drank every night for a long time, being sober in the evening and content with it is not going to come naturally in a few days or a few weeks.
Give it some time.

I wish you the best xx

MrBen

I'd recommend taking up a form of exercise to anyone recovering. I honestly don't think I could manage without going swimming every day. Not only is it great hobby, it relieves stress, clears your head and gives you goals.

You don't have to become a gym rat or anything, but going for a jog a couple of times a week can only improve your life.

Mentium

Your addiction will tell you that boredom is 'the worst thing ever about being sober'. It will try to convince you that life without alcohol is no fun and that you will never have as much fun again if you stop for good!

Addiction is cunning! Boredom is better, if unnecessary, given the advice above, than drinking oneself into a stupor or drinking oneself to an early death for that matter.

doggonecarl

At eight days, you don't know what life is like sober. So of course the first answer to this discontent is drinking. Stay the course.

I don't give suggestions to what people should do to relieve their boredom. I don't know your interests and you are at your least receptive to ideas when what you want to do is drink. But you better find something to do. You might not find it exciting...especially sober, that comes later. But find something to do to chew up the sober hours.

Good luck and congrats on a week sober!

MrBen

You could become a badass chef. Make some 5 star dishes then have a breakdown when your kids tell you they just want chips.

Jupiters

hahaha MrBen. good one!

LBrain

hmmmm, well, during those times of drinking, what else were you doing? were you just sitting around drinking or was drinking an addition to an activity?

as an example, I didn't do yard work without a beer in my hand. I struggled for months to be able to do yard work sober - it was gawd awful difficult. Now after a few months of forcing myself, little by little, drinking does not even cross my mind when I am working in the garden. I'm more concerned about having lemon for my iced tea now.

Go back over it in your head. Was drinking your fuel to do things? Possible?
This is one of the toughest things about getting sober - for me at least. Learning how to do things again without drinking.

Jupiters

This is great advice. One day, it will feel normal (whatever that is) to not just sit around and drink but to be conscious and involved in life.

MrBen

I think everyone goes through this period, it's a good thing you brought it up because when we become sober we pretty much have to relearn how to have fun. I just used to sit getting bombed watching tv, that was pretty much my thing. I occasionally watch some of those shows and can't believe I ever found them entertaining. Like did I really make a series link to the steve wilkos show? Get it together, drunk past Ben.

Jupiters

Steve Wilkos?
oh dude DUUUUDE. that is pretty bad! hahaha

360shoes

This will sound stupid but I have found that learning to entertain myself has worked for me. I like to laugh and be goofy. I think that's fun. So I try to make myself laugh. Which has actually turned into I don't have to try. I just have to notice.

It's like learning to be a kid again. Just like a kid, they can entertain themselves doing anything.

Go try anything that will make you laugh or smile. Ask your wife if you can paint her toenails. Paint your own toenails and your kids toenails. Bright pink. Make it bright pink toenail day. Laugh your b*tt off. Make sure you have plenty of toenail polish remover.

Hey, what do I know. I just know that smiling and laughing seems to make anything I do fun.

Hang in there. You are doing great!

PurpleKnight

For myself my life was pretty boring, take out drinking from my evenings I had very little interests/hobbies/activities, I was facing the same situation, the reason being is I drank and did very little else for years, so of course my life was lacking.

It's interesting how one of the fears of quitting alcohol is that people will be bored, but quitting drinking actually flags up how uninteresting our lives already are.

You'll have to sit down and really work out what you want to achieve in life moving forward, what do you really want to do with your time, alcohol has unlocked all this time to do whatever you want with it!!

MrBen

I've developed a very silly sense of humour, which I didn't know was there when I was drinking. Making a tiny hat for my tortoise, having a water gun fight with my girlfriend, pretending the floor is lava. I think since I quit I've given up all pretentiousness and embraced my daft side. Life's too short not to have fun.

360shoes

A tiny hat for your tortoise!!! Hahahahaha. I've got a grin on my face ear to ear over that one. See. Today is already off to a great start. I can now go clean my toilet and it will be fun because I'm now thinking of little tortoise hats and a whole family running around with pink toenails on lava floors.

Life is too short to not have fun. There was nothing fun about drinking. Not a damn thing.

Nuudawn

Yes, I understand. In sobriety I always realize how completely undeveloped my life is. My sobriety is very new and I am still battling a lot of lethargy. Thankfully, my last sobriety..this time last year is recent enough that I am able to recall the same complaints I am now experiencing (lethargy and huge amounts of time spent right here at SR). I have to keep reminding myself to cut myself some slack...this passes. Eventually one learns to actually DO something with their restless energy that seems to only bang around in the interior without outlet in the beginning...

This is early sobriety. It ain't easy...but all states...are temporary.

Croissant

I agree. I'm learning to "live" again.

I've caught myself doing things....and realise these are the things I used to love doing before I drank. They've just come back naturally.

Yep, it took time, but they came back.

Gilmer

Do whatever you can think of to stay busy--especially mentally. i took classes online. i got involved with groups at my church. Look at your county's adult education catalogues (minimal fee, usually for materials). See what activities you've always wanted to try.

Throw enough spaghetti at the wall, eventually something will stick!

Posting and reading here, especially in the class threads, really helps me, too.

I try to take sad ladies out to lunch. Gets me out of the house and doing something that makes the universe a better place. It cheers me up to cheer other people up.