My AH is on his way home

Old 07-03-2014, 07:57 AM
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My AH is on his way home

He has a long drive ahead of him, but he will likely arrive late tonight, after everyone has gone to bed.

To catch everyone up, he has spent the last year (almost exactly a year, in fact) working several states away in his construction trade after being laid off from the factory job he held for two years (before the company tanked and laid off 80% of its workforce). During that time, we have seen him, on average, one weekend a month. We have not seen him since Mother's Day.

I have done a tremendous amount of growing and healing over the past year. I am prepared for the worst, of course: that he will descend back into the pit of emotional abuse and ugliness that we lived with for the four months before he left. In that case, I am prepared to leave immediately. Otherwise, I am keeping the focus on myself and the kids. I spoke extensively with both of my daughters (my AH is their stepdad), and we are on the same page about the situation. My son is THRILLED his dad is coming home--we have not yet told him that his dad is coming home to stay (as opposed to leaving again after 3 days, to be gone for another month). My AH will share that news with him once he's here. And I am THRILLED that I will get a desperately, desperately needed break from solo parenting a very spirited four-year old.

One day at a time.
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:01 AM
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Good luck Wisco It sounds like you have a great plan in place. I hope for you and your families sake you don't have to use it. But being prepared is way better than uncertainty.

How are you feeling? Anxious or excited?
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:51 AM
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I'm excited because our son is excited. Seriously, it is the only thing he has talked about for over a week. His excitement is very sweet. For all of my AH's faults, at this point in his disease, at least, he still has a wonderful relationship with our son. They adore each other, and I am very glad they will have a lot of good, quality time together.

I am nervous because even now, at this point in my own recovery, I am still uncomfortable with the uncertainty of how he will behave. But I'm focusing on ME, which helps a lot. It also helps a lot that my department is coming into a very busy time at work.
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Old 07-03-2014, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Wisconsin View Post
I'm excited because our son is excited. Seriously, it is the only thing he has talked about for over a week. His excitement is very sweet. For all of my AH's faults, at this point in his disease, at least, he still has a wonderful relationship with our son. They adore each other, and I am very glad they will have a lot of good, quality time together.

I am nervous because even now, at this point in my own recovery, I am still uncomfortable with the uncertainty of how he will behave. But I'm focusing on ME, which helps a lot. It also helps a lot that my department is coming into a very busy time at work.
One day at a time, right? Hugs and prayers to you as you get a new perspective in place and see how things go with AH back in the house.
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Old 07-03-2014, 09:26 AM
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Praying for all of you Wisconsin! It has to be a joy to see your little so excited! I hope things all work out well. You sound to be in a very healthy place and that is a very good thing.

God Bless, and have a Happy 4th!
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