Mirage74

I feel like people around me do not want to see me get better. They would be happier if I just returned to drinking, my usual routine. I feel this from family, friends, AA even. This board seems to be the only place I get any helpful advice. They say you can't do it alone. That's how I feel, I'm doing it alone.

ScottFromWI

I did have some people in my life that would have rather seen me keep drinking, I had to remove them from my daily life. Their happiness is not of concern to me, nor should it be.

Climber122

What do YOU want Mirage? I can imagine it's very hard to not feel like you get support from family and groups you expect to get support from, like AA. I wonder what has been said or done to make you feel that way?

PurpleKnight

There will always be critics and people with opinions in life, do it for you and stick to what you want to achieve.

SR is in your corner!!

Nuudawn

People in AA would prefer you to return to drinking? I think your AV is in overtime Mirage.
Sobriety is a VERY individual choice. It's a choice that must come from you for you. Even if it is to be a better mother or wife or daughter. It's still about YOU.

Although I do need support for my recovery...I get that support primarily from OTHERS in recovery...not from people who do not (cannot) understand the rollercoaster I'm on unless they'r in the same line of carts.

Most of the time..I'm on my own with my addiction...and when I can't handle it..I reach out to others who "get me"..
Like you have done.

Why do you think people in AA want you to return to drinking?

Serenidad

YES!!! Because when we get well...they have to look at their OWN problems! All of a sudden they aren't the angels they think they are anymore!

Funny that you bring this up because I just got a rude text from my controlling mother! Ugh! She is a major trigger for me and I'm SURE she would love to see me fail so she can say "poor me....my daughter is a drunk! I was a perfect mother....how did she end up like that?" BS!

She was a psychotic abusive bitch when I was growing up and I can't stand her! All her abuse changed the person I could have been. She F'd me up! She's part of why I starting drinking in the first place!

So YES! People do try to mess with my recovery!!! F them! Hang with supportive people. Stay strong!

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Nuudawn

Nice rant Serenidad. I mean that! Get that toxic yuck out..as you did.

All the more reason to "individuate" from where we came from...captain our own ship!

It's our life now. Make it real...make it truly ours. For me, I know that only hope for my authentic self to captain my authentic life..is sober!

Hell yeah.

Serenidad

Thanks Nuudawn. I really DO need to get that **** out! It's killing me! I also think a punching bag would do me good! One think I know is a drink will NOT help! I'm hoping and praying that at the end of this day I can say I have 5 days sober.

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doggonecarl

Does anyone/anything inhibit your recovery?

I'm the biggest impediment to my recovery. I think if I started to blame someone else, I would have even more reason to consider myself the hurdle to get over.

jdooner

Most of the people I surrounded myself with would have preferred I go back to drinking. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever done. I have had to change and recreate most of my life. Its so worth it though and I am only in my first year.

Stoogy

Hi, there are people who say you can't do it alone, that's a myth in my opinion, let's face it you started drinking alone, you can end it too you just have to want it enough that's all and I'm sure you do.
There is no right or wrong way, AA I'm sure is a great institution and I would never talk it down as I've never attended and it would be wrong to do so, I did it my way which was willpower finely balanced with the will to end that lifestyle.
I wish you extremely well whichever path suits you best.

Anna

I think it's really important to step away from what other people think about you and focus on yourself. As others have said, I had to remove a few people from my life at the outset of recovery, too.

Jupiters

yup.
anyone that is not all aboard my sobriety train can get off the next stop.

Nonsensical

+1

Jupiters

I feel really bad for the people who are struggling with the support (or lack thereof) they have around them. Whether it's friends, or family..like the other poster who's husband tried to cause a relapse. Props to you guy for staying strong in the face of all that. It takes a lot of strength and courage to say "NO. I will NOT falter!"

I'm a lucky one who has family, friends and a BF who absolutely will NEVER try and diminish my sobriety. In fact, quite the opposite would happen. Being on a short leash and knowing the last straw is not far away keeps me motivated. (Jail time is also doing this! LOL)
so hang in there and be strong. B/C at the end of the day, support or NO support...this battle is ours and ours alone to fight.

Alphabet

Absolutely. My family wants me to stop, (as do I for myself). My future mother-in-law, an accredited physiatrist whom graduated from the most prestigeous academy in the world, thinks both my fiancé and I 'just need to moderate better'"

This flippant mindset absolutely could ruin my marriage and my life. In at a loss as to how to handle it. It's a constant source of trouble.

In this, I'm with you and looking for an answer. We deserve better than this.

Boudicca

Absolutely right on the money!

ElleDee

Why do you think AA would want you to return to drinking?

GracieLou

I think this is true. I get a lot from the people in AA, especially the woman. I am so grateful for them.

My daughter has been fairly supportive but nothing from other family members.

The guy up the street has given me more kudos then my mother. She just thinks I am dry drunk because I won't tolerate her narcissism anymore.

I am very thankful for the support I do get. Recovery is hard. You have to put yourself out there and the more I did the more support I got.


I am also curious for the answer to this question.

neferkamichael

Mirage74, in the real world that we live in there are people who are gonna try to make themselves look good by keeping you down, cant be denied. Always remember when you are in an AA meeting you are still in a room full of drunks, some are working a program, some are not. Your gut instincts about this are accurate. I believe everyone here is rootin for ya, I know I am.