New here, looking forward to the support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 28
New here, looking forward to the support
I probably have the same story as most and assume we're all here for the same reason. I'm looking forward to hearing from the motivated, sober people that have succeeded at wrestling this problem to the ground. I'm 34, a grad student and firefighter, and feel like I've tried everything on earth to stop drinking and always end up negotiating and bargaining myself back into it. I've been blessed enough to have had an angel of a girl enter my life that acts as the first real, true motivation to want to stop. However I hate to tell her just how much I drink and want to get it under control ASAP and have nobody to come clean to and talk about this with(not feeling sorry for myself, just presenting the problem). Prayers would be appreciated right now, I'm tired of living a life enslaved to an addiction I don't even enjoy anymore. I just want to enjoy simple, innocent times with my girlfriend and watch her pick flowers and work in the garden without the dark desire for alcohol surrounding my thoughts. I want to be back to God's simple things in life fulfilling me completely and not needing any form of chemical stimuli. Thank ya'll.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome simpleman. You can have all those things you desire. For me the key was honesty - with myself about my drinking. Admitting and fully accepting that I cannot drink was the first step I had do take before anything else could happen. You cannot negotiate or bargain with alcoholism, because it always wins even when you think you can take just one drink.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
Welcome Simpleman,
I completely get where you are coming from. I think this is a great opportunity you have to assess your drinking. Not only why you want to stop, but why you have enjoyed drinking too. I mean let's get real - think of it as a pros and cons list. Be honest (as Scott said!) and evaluate what role alcohol has played in your life. For instance, my list (prior to getting sober) looked like:
PROS: Feels good - enjoy the buzz, helps me forget work stresses, makes me feel closer to my friends, allows me to be able to relax easier.
CONS: Missing days of work, terrible hangovers, anxiety problems, expensive to keep buying, plenty of drunk driving, temper problems, bouts of depression.
By listing it out this way, you can really decide your own reasons for wanting to make a change. Your girlfriend should be ONE reason in the PRO list, I'm guessing. She shouldn't be your only reason for wanting to get sober. Reason is, you don't want your sobriety to be tied to something as easily changed as a relationship! You need to dig a little to find as many reasons as you can, and if you decide to move forward because your CONS list outweighs your PROS list, take action! Keep posting here, find an AA group, find a therapist - any one or combination of these things will offer you the support and direction you need to then follow your intention to achieve sobriety. As a firefighter you know the importance of relying on the firefighter next to you to come out of the black smoke alive - this is no different.
I completely get where you are coming from. I think this is a great opportunity you have to assess your drinking. Not only why you want to stop, but why you have enjoyed drinking too. I mean let's get real - think of it as a pros and cons list. Be honest (as Scott said!) and evaluate what role alcohol has played in your life. For instance, my list (prior to getting sober) looked like:
PROS: Feels good - enjoy the buzz, helps me forget work stresses, makes me feel closer to my friends, allows me to be able to relax easier.
CONS: Missing days of work, terrible hangovers, anxiety problems, expensive to keep buying, plenty of drunk driving, temper problems, bouts of depression.
By listing it out this way, you can really decide your own reasons for wanting to make a change. Your girlfriend should be ONE reason in the PRO list, I'm guessing. She shouldn't be your only reason for wanting to get sober. Reason is, you don't want your sobriety to be tied to something as easily changed as a relationship! You need to dig a little to find as many reasons as you can, and if you decide to move forward because your CONS list outweighs your PROS list, take action! Keep posting here, find an AA group, find a therapist - any one or combination of these things will offer you the support and direction you need to then follow your intention to achieve sobriety. As a firefighter you know the importance of relying on the firefighter next to you to come out of the black smoke alive - this is no different.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
It's so good to meet you Simpleman. Welcome!
I was all alone with my struggle until I found SR. No one in my life understood what I went through. Here you will find the support & encouragement that you need to help you on your journey. The life you describe can be yours - and I envy you for seeing the light at 34.
I was all alone with my struggle until I found SR. No one in my life understood what I went through. Here you will find the support & encouragement that you need to help you on your journey. The life you describe can be yours - and I envy you for seeing the light at 34.
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