The Plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
The Plan
I keep reading here about needing to develop a plan to stay sober. What exactly should a successful plan entail? In my understanding, I should think about what my triggers have been and what to do with them in the future. Also, since forgetting is often a problem, I'll be thinking about ideas on staying mindful about the problem and never losing guard. Anything else?
Your thoughts and personal plan experiences are appreciated. Or point me to the thread where this has been explained and discussed already?
Your thoughts and personal plan experiences are appreciated. Or point me to the thread where this has been explained and discussed already?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 42
Good Morning!
I don't think there's a formula, more of a plan you make for yourself... what you want to do, how you want to do it. Like making a promise to yourself. It might put you out of your comfort zone, but the end results need to be something YOU want, not something someone thinks of for you.
I decided I wanted to stop drinking as I was messing up so many areas of my life and knew I was doing it but wasn't doing anything about it.
So, I decided to stop, getting any help I could.
This forum is a massive help to me. Without it I know I would have slipped already.
I do things everyday to remind me of my promise to myself and why... I look on the internet about impact of drinking on families etc but really, this site is real people with the same aim and it helps me more than anything.
A big incentive for me, is to be able to help others. And I can't do that if I give up.
Welcome to SR, stay in touch..
I don't think there's a formula, more of a plan you make for yourself... what you want to do, how you want to do it. Like making a promise to yourself. It might put you out of your comfort zone, but the end results need to be something YOU want, not something someone thinks of for you.
I decided I wanted to stop drinking as I was messing up so many areas of my life and knew I was doing it but wasn't doing anything about it.
So, I decided to stop, getting any help I could.
This forum is a massive help to me. Without it I know I would have slipped already.
I do things everyday to remind me of my promise to myself and why... I look on the internet about impact of drinking on families etc but really, this site is real people with the same aim and it helps me more than anything.
A big incentive for me, is to be able to help others. And I can't do that if I give up.
Welcome to SR, stay in touch..
Last edited by Dee74; 06-29-2014 at 01:41 AM.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I think it is important to be clear about what you are trying to do and how you intend to do it- especially if you are new at it- looking back I can see that many times I would have said to myself I was "quitting" the plans I had got de-railed reasonably quickly by giving in to physical urges or what I now know to be addictive thinking. It took me many years to learn how to recognise my own ambivalence.
As for my method- beaten down by trial and error, belatedly read about SMART tools, AVRT, and the Big Book- SR has been my mainstay along with my sister
As for my method- beaten down by trial and error, belatedly read about SMART tools, AVRT, and the Big Book- SR has been my mainstay along with my sister
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
After 4 months of trying to quit in earnest, and years of not being able to go a week without drinking, I made a plan. The simplest (and hardest) part of my plan was: I will not drink, no matter what. In the last 8 months this plan has meant that I stopped going places that would jeopardize my sobriety, stopped hanging out with ppl who only wanted to drink, found someone to be accountable to who had gotten sober as well, tried AA, changed my diet, exercised like crazy, slept tons, cried a lot, laughed a lot, and educated myself by obsessively reading about sobriety. I tried to look at my plan like a weight loss plan, if I wanted to loose 200 lbs what would I do? Where would I go, where wouldn't I go? Who would help me, what would hinder me?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I think a good plan needs to focus on two main areas:
Finding the right kind, and level of support, and learning to use it; and being prepared to make whatever lifestyles changes are necessary for you to remain sober.
That may mean social life changes, or changes in the way you deal with stress or boredom, or anger, or indeed in the way we express joy or celebrate
D
Finding the right kind, and level of support, and learning to use it; and being prepared to make whatever lifestyles changes are necessary for you to remain sober.
That may mean social life changes, or changes in the way you deal with stress or boredom, or anger, or indeed in the way we express joy or celebrate
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
I don't think a plan need be complicated. It is something to refer to maybe when you need direction. Mine is pretty simple.
1. Attend 4 to 5 AA meetings a week.
2. Read recovery literature every day.
3. Read and/or contribute at this forum every day.
4. Go for a bike ride every day. (Not been wildly successful with that one..)
5. Use the phone for AA buddies if I feel wobbly.
1. Attend 4 to 5 AA meetings a week.
2. Read recovery literature every day.
3. Read and/or contribute at this forum every day.
4. Go for a bike ride every day. (Not been wildly successful with that one..)
5. Use the phone for AA buddies if I feel wobbly.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I think one of the most important parts of making a plan for sobriety is to make sure that involves being in contact with other sober alcoholics. Obviously, many people here include reading and posting on SR as part of their plan. I also include the fellowship of AA in mine. I find that being able to communicate with a sober alcoholic daily keeps me from living too much in my own head.
Acceptance, honesty and truth are my guiding principles. It is an absolute truth in my life that I cannot drink alcohol. It has adverse effects on me that I cannot tolerate. If I drink even one drink, I put my life in grave danger. This a truth that I accept. I know this to be true because I am honest about the effects alcohol has on me. I used to lie to myself and say that alcohol had beneficial qualities that I needed in my life. Since I quit drinking I have fallen asleep, socialized with strangers, gone to a bar, hung out at a beach, laughed with friends, cried and mourned deeply and done many other things that I thought I needed alcohol to help me do. In fact, I do all of those things much better sober.
I attend AA meetings, I have a sponsor and I am working the steps with her. These are all things that I use to teach me to live a happy, sober life. I know a peace in my life like I never thought was possible. I feel useful and I feel like my entire life has purpose. I can see how my past can serve to benefit myself and others so I am not trying to forget it.
I say the Serenity Prayer to myself often. At least daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I try to be of service in my AA group and I strive to carry that spirit of service to all aspects of my life. I earnestly try to be an agent of peace and to let my serenity touch the people I see in my every day life.
I lived in the shadows for many years because I was afraid and saw no worth in my life. I hid and cloaked myself in darkness, praying that the world would never notice me. Today, I strive to live as a beacon, calling people to my serenity, sharing my experience, strength and hope to those who need it and serving others as I am needed. I live in the light and share what has been freely given to me.
Acceptance, honesty and truth are my guiding principles. It is an absolute truth in my life that I cannot drink alcohol. It has adverse effects on me that I cannot tolerate. If I drink even one drink, I put my life in grave danger. This a truth that I accept. I know this to be true because I am honest about the effects alcohol has on me. I used to lie to myself and say that alcohol had beneficial qualities that I needed in my life. Since I quit drinking I have fallen asleep, socialized with strangers, gone to a bar, hung out at a beach, laughed with friends, cried and mourned deeply and done many other things that I thought I needed alcohol to help me do. In fact, I do all of those things much better sober.
I attend AA meetings, I have a sponsor and I am working the steps with her. These are all things that I use to teach me to live a happy, sober life. I know a peace in my life like I never thought was possible. I feel useful and I feel like my entire life has purpose. I can see how my past can serve to benefit myself and others so I am not trying to forget it.
I say the Serenity Prayer to myself often. At least daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I try to be of service in my AA group and I strive to carry that spirit of service to all aspects of my life. I earnestly try to be an agent of peace and to let my serenity touch the people I see in my every day life.
I lived in the shadows for many years because I was afraid and saw no worth in my life. I hid and cloaked myself in darkness, praying that the world would never notice me. Today, I strive to live as a beacon, calling people to my serenity, sharing my experience, strength and hope to those who need it and serving others as I am needed. I live in the light and share what has been freely given to me.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I love plans. Plans are proactive. Plans give us the initiative. Instead of sitting back and playing defense, trying to stave off the urge the next time it hits, a plan puts us on offense against the addiction.
Some good suggestions so far, I would just add my experience was that I didn't get it right the first time. Or the second time. Or the third...but I didn't give up. With persistence, over time, I found the combination of actions that works for me.
Some good suggestions so far, I would just add my experience was that I didn't get it right the first time. Or the second time. Or the third...but I didn't give up. With persistence, over time, I found the combination of actions that works for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I like KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid, as I can complicate things very easily.
I needed to get totally honest with myself about MY drinking and where I was headed very quickly.
I joined AA and became very active in it to take up my idle time.
I learned to not think about drinking, think sober thoughts.
Going to bars and places where alcohol was a focus was something I had to avoid.
Sitting up front and listening at meetings was a necessity for me to learn what I really didn’t know anything about.
Learn about my triggers and trying to avoid HALT situations, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
The need for acceptance is required for many day to day irritants along with the phrase “IT TAKES TIME.”
BE WELL
I needed to get totally honest with myself about MY drinking and where I was headed very quickly.
I joined AA and became very active in it to take up my idle time.
I learned to not think about drinking, think sober thoughts.
Going to bars and places where alcohol was a focus was something I had to avoid.
Sitting up front and listening at meetings was a necessity for me to learn what I really didn’t know anything about.
Learn about my triggers and trying to avoid HALT situations, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
The need for acceptance is required for many day to day irritants along with the phrase “IT TAKES TIME.”
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by IOAA2 
I like KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid, as I can complicate things very easily.
I needed to get totally honest with myself about MY drinking and where I was headed very quickly.
I joined AA and became very active in it to take up my idle time.
I learned to not think about drinking, think sober thoughts.
Going to bars and places where alcohol was a focus was something I had to avoid.
Sitting up front and listening at meetings was a necessity for me to learn what I really didn’t know anything about.
Learn about my triggers and trying to avoid HALT situations, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
The need for acceptance is required for many day to day irritants along with the phrase “IT TAKES TIME.”
BE WELL
I needed to get totally honest with myself about MY drinking and where I was headed very quickly.
I joined AA and became very active in it to take up my idle time.
I learned to not think about drinking, think sober thoughts.
Going to bars and places where alcohol was a focus was something I had to avoid.
Sitting up front and listening at meetings was a necessity for me to learn what I really didn’t know anything about.
Learn about my triggers and trying to avoid HALT situations, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
The need for acceptance is required for many day to day irritants along with the phrase “IT TAKES TIME.”
BE WELL
simple advice but so to the point.
my plan of action is trying to live sober, its a lot easier these days than when i was first around as it doesn't take the effort that was needed today, like it did 10 years ago, when i had to force myself to look up at the roof tops rather than always looking down at my shoes.
my plan had to be wake up, have a bath at that always put me in a good mood to feel clean
then wear some clean clothes, go out for a walk and look up at roof tops, if i pass by a stranger, wish them a good day,
fill my day up doing things i dont want to do lol that is a huge one
get to a meetings contact my sponsor etc
the plan is for you to do for you to grow, today i dont have to do those simple things anymore with effort i do them automatically and a lot more,
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by jezza
My only plan is not to drink... Yes, we are all different.. I don't do AA, find it far too negative but it works for some people.. I just enjoy how I feel when I'm not drinking..
if it was negative i wouldn't of come back, i have a hell of a sense of humor and i have had to leave some meetings as i end up crying with laughter at times so i leave to the meeting to compose myself. more so when i meet up with some other member who are like me
we know we are nuts in life today so we can enjoy our way without hurting anyone today
but i guess you might of gone to a wrong type of meeting my friend if thats you view on it
if you ever come to a meeting were i am in it then i will be the one who is getting up on the tables in aa and dancing : )
i used to do that drunk but now i can do it sober and it doesn't matter : )
in other words i am free in my heart and i dont care anymore what people think of me, i dont go to aa to win a popularity contest, but i do find people take an interest in how come i can be the way i am in life
aa is the answer i tell them and working those steps all the way up number 12
when you get to number 12 it doesnt say
the end
its just the start
so long as your happy my friend being sober then your on to a winner and good luck with it but i would suggest you try other meetings as you might meet people who are happy and not negative
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Quiting drinking is one thing staying quit is something very different.
The things that were key for me were
The things that were key for me were
- Education on addiction recovery and relapse
- Building a network of sober friends
- Filling the void left by alcohol with sober friends and sober activities
- Building a network and support system of sober friends
- Removing all alcohol from my house
- Avoiding or eliminating all places where alcohol present
- Seeking professional treatment
- Physical activity
- Forgiveness of others and myself
- Learning to deal with life on life's terms
- Eliminating resentments
- Making amends to those that I had harmed
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by jezza
My only plan is not to drink... Yes, we are all different.. I don't do AA, find it far too negative but it works for some people.. I just enjoy how I feel when I'm not drinking..
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
as a foot note to my last post
please dont run away with the idea its always like that and i am always dancing on tables lol
last night for example in work i parked my trailer in a loading bay i was instructed to do, then up came a shunter of the yard yelling at me that i was in the wrong bay i couldnt understand him at first so i got out of my cab and walked over to his cab
i told him i was instructed to go on the bay i was on but he was jumping up and down in anger at this problem that finaly i didnt like his attitude so i told him to get out of his cab in anger back at him
he shut up then and just shrugged his shoulders and went off, i spent the next 2 hours ploting my revenge on that fellow how dare he talk to me like that and next time i see him i am just going to hit him etc on and on this went until i thought what am i doing lol
when i go back to that yard and see him i will apologize for my anger at him
as thats how i try to live my life but as you can see things happen in a day that will try me out and sometimes i get it right when its needed but other times up pops the old way
when i am troubled like that i examine why i am like that and i try to justify it as the guy was angry at me so i gave it him back
but its no real justification anymore, a better way of dealing with it would of been to stay calm and try to calm the fellow down and sort the problem out peacfully lol
not easy at times but this is what daily living is like
years ago i wouldn't of thought twice about doing him some harm and if i was drunk well the whole world would suffer because of how this guy had upset me : )
please dont run away with the idea its always like that and i am always dancing on tables lol
last night for example in work i parked my trailer in a loading bay i was instructed to do, then up came a shunter of the yard yelling at me that i was in the wrong bay i couldnt understand him at first so i got out of my cab and walked over to his cab
i told him i was instructed to go on the bay i was on but he was jumping up and down in anger at this problem that finaly i didnt like his attitude so i told him to get out of his cab in anger back at him
he shut up then and just shrugged his shoulders and went off, i spent the next 2 hours ploting my revenge on that fellow how dare he talk to me like that and next time i see him i am just going to hit him etc on and on this went until i thought what am i doing lol
when i go back to that yard and see him i will apologize for my anger at him
as thats how i try to live my life but as you can see things happen in a day that will try me out and sometimes i get it right when its needed but other times up pops the old way
when i am troubled like that i examine why i am like that and i try to justify it as the guy was angry at me so i gave it him back
but its no real justification anymore, a better way of dealing with it would of been to stay calm and try to calm the fellow down and sort the problem out peacfully lol
not easy at times but this is what daily living is like
years ago i wouldn't of thought twice about doing him some harm and if i was drunk well the whole world would suffer because of how this guy had upset me : )
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