An Update!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
An Update!
Whew! Well, I made it through 6 weeks of craziness. My little guy's birthday, then my younger daughter's birthday, then my older daughter's 8th grade graduation, then my younger daughter's 5th grade graduation, and finally...this past Wednesday, my final court date with my XH. For those who are not familiar with my story, my two daughters are from my first marriage. My XH is not an A, although he has (as do we all), his own set of dysfunctions. My XH was a stay at home dad to our daughters when we were married, and receives child support from me. He received 5 years of alimony from me, as well, which ended earlier this year. Our court date earlier this week involved a slew of other motions he had filed, including an upward deviation from the statutory amount of child support, authorization to move our girls without my input or consent, and a retroactive increase in child support to 18 months ago. It has long been my belief that his attorney manipulates him and takes advantage of him, encouraging him to be combative in order for her to make more money off of him. Earlier this year, when it became apparent my XH was going to open the can of worms on all of these new motions, I asked my father to assist me in hiring an attorney (I have been representing myself four the past four years on these issues, because money has been so tight with my XH getting 60% of my income for many years). He agreed, and I hired a very nice attorney who helped me in the alimony hearing in May, and represented me earlier this week as well.
We arrived in court on Wednesday morning to the news that my XH had elected to drop all of his major claims against me. We went back and forth on one small item before reaching an agreement and wrapping up every pending item. When we were done, I said how proud I was that we have come so far in our communication and co-parenting, especially over the last year, and that we both deserve a lot of credit for that. He said I'm a wonderful mom, and I said he's a wonderful dad. We hugged, then walked out to our cars together, then hugged again. It felt very cathartic and positive.
Later that day I received a call from my AH (my current husband, father to my little guy, and an actively drinking alcoholic who was in recovery when we were dating and got married). Many of you know that he has been working out of state for the last year after being laid off from his factory job. His absence has given me a year to grow tremendously in my own recovery, and given my daughters time to heal from some of the emotional abuse they witnessed. Naturally, the absence has been difficult for him and for our son...they adore each other and are very close.
My AH called to say that there is now work in his trade in our city. If the work pans out, he will be home for the Fourth of July and will be able to find locally after that.
It was a huge surprise. His attitude has been that work wouldn't pick up in our city for at least another year. Quite obviously, I have very mixed feelings about all of this. I'm focusing on just taking it one day at a time, and preparing myself to make an exit if/when the emotional abuse resumes. But I *AM* grateful to have some help with our son. I'm pretty run down and exhausted from working full time and then caring for our son alone. Send me good wishes for serenity!
We arrived in court on Wednesday morning to the news that my XH had elected to drop all of his major claims against me. We went back and forth on one small item before reaching an agreement and wrapping up every pending item. When we were done, I said how proud I was that we have come so far in our communication and co-parenting, especially over the last year, and that we both deserve a lot of credit for that. He said I'm a wonderful mom, and I said he's a wonderful dad. We hugged, then walked out to our cars together, then hugged again. It felt very cathartic and positive.
Later that day I received a call from my AH (my current husband, father to my little guy, and an actively drinking alcoholic who was in recovery when we were dating and got married). Many of you know that he has been working out of state for the last year after being laid off from his factory job. His absence has given me a year to grow tremendously in my own recovery, and given my daughters time to heal from some of the emotional abuse they witnessed. Naturally, the absence has been difficult for him and for our son...they adore each other and are very close.
My AH called to say that there is now work in his trade in our city. If the work pans out, he will be home for the Fourth of July and will be able to find locally after that.
It was a huge surprise. His attitude has been that work wouldn't pick up in our city for at least another year. Quite obviously, I have very mixed feelings about all of this. I'm focusing on just taking it one day at a time, and preparing myself to make an exit if/when the emotional abuse resumes. But I *AM* grateful to have some help with our son. I'm pretty run down and exhausted from working full time and then caring for our son alone. Send me good wishes for serenity!
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