Skipping the annual work party
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Skipping the annual work party
One of the departments I'm affiliated with at work is having their annual crazy footloose summer party today. They organize big fancy parties twice a year: before Christmas and this time of the year (called summer party). It's always a gigantic drinking fest... tons of good food as well, but the focus tends to be on let the alcohol flow.
I went each year since I have worked at this institution, and they were fun I guess because I also got very drunk and silly.
I've been hesitating all week what to do about it now (not contemplating drinking, just weather I should show up and leave early), especially since I just got a job promotion and people know...
Well, finally decided to skip it. Social drinking situations around me are not my biggest triggers since I had been a lone drinker in the last few years of my time, but still... my 5-month-old sobriety and all the great changes coming with it are absolutely not worth a risk.
I guess people will ask me why I did not go on Monday (or maybe even send me texts from the party) - will just say that I already made plans for this day long ago. Which is not a lie: planned to stay sober!
Have a great sober weekend, friends
I went each year since I have worked at this institution, and they were fun I guess because I also got very drunk and silly.
I've been hesitating all week what to do about it now (not contemplating drinking, just weather I should show up and leave early), especially since I just got a job promotion and people know...
Well, finally decided to skip it. Social drinking situations around me are not my biggest triggers since I had been a lone drinker in the last few years of my time, but still... my 5-month-old sobriety and all the great changes coming with it are absolutely not worth a risk.
I guess people will ask me why I did not go on Monday (or maybe even send me texts from the party) - will just say that I already made plans for this day long ago. Which is not a lie: planned to stay sober!
Have a great sober weekend, friends
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
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Fantastic decision haennie!! . . . we've got your back!! 
Work nights out have become the one thing I have tried to avoid since becoming Sober, the whole work politics thing, the people going mad on a night out, it can be a minefield!! . . . Great job!!
Work nights out have become the one thing I have tried to avoid since becoming Sober, the whole work politics thing, the people going mad on a night out, it can be a minefield!! . . . Great job!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I applaud your decision! Don't let your AV (or whatever we're calling it these days) tell you that you're a stick-in-the-mud! Us former partiers tend to mentally throw ourselves into the "nerd corner" when we skip these things. So untrue! You're a mature, responsible adult who has better things to do - like enjoy a peaceful evening, a nice dinner and a bright morning sunrise. Way to go!
Way to go!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Probably a wise choice. Fwiw I landed a job at about 18 months sober working with a sales team. I had heard stories of boozy sales conferences and part of my job was to attend these, so I was a little worried about that.
At The first conference it became clear I had nothing to worry about for two reasons. I had had my spiritual experience as the result of the steps and the drink problem was gone.
Secondly, these guys did not drink anything like me. Possibly they drank like I used to wish I could drink, not out of control. Not a single one of them came anywhere near my standard of insanely drunk.. The night remained social and fun. None of the sick alcoholic behaviour that was the hallmark of my drinking.
I went to lots of those conferences and they never were a problem. I might have handled it earlier, but in my first year, though the obsession had been lifted my mental and emotional state was not too good. God had found me quieter employment for that time.
At The first conference it became clear I had nothing to worry about for two reasons. I had had my spiritual experience as the result of the steps and the drink problem was gone.
Secondly, these guys did not drink anything like me. Possibly they drank like I used to wish I could drink, not out of control. Not a single one of them came anywhere near my standard of insanely drunk.. The night remained social and fun. None of the sick alcoholic behaviour that was the hallmark of my drinking.
I went to lots of those conferences and they never were a problem. I might have handled it earlier, but in my first year, though the obsession had been lifted my mental and emotional state was not too good. God had found me quieter employment for that time.
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Originally Posted by haennie 
will just say that I already made plans for this day long ago. Which is not a lie: planned to stay sober!
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Thanks a lot, everyone! I posted this only because I was so happy with my decision. I knew it was the right decision even days, weeks, maybe months before I made it... if that makes sense.
Yeah I can imagine that. If we want to have a meaningful, fulfilling profession, I think it's important that we find a solution that is compatible with not only our interests, but also our values, choices, etc. I'm glad you've found your calling.
For me, this current job of mine is actually pretty quiet in the everyday. It's research... you mostly stay in a corner doing experiments and analyzing data... these days the experiments are usually done by others and I mainly analyze, discuss, write up, do more searching and speculating, interactions... Can do a lot of it from home also. Lots of responsibilities that require a sharp mind and sane judgment. I also need to train people. This is also a job where I can indulge in my seemingly endless curiosity about the world, about people, about how all this works, and about the mysteries of what troubled me most in life (addiction, etc)...
Often many of us talk about intense relationships on these boards. For me so far, in the professional front of things, this current job of mine has been by far The Love of My Life, if we allow a metaphor. If that makes sense. I think I wrote about this here and there on SR, maybe just not this passionately. But it is true. This job was also a very important factor and inspiration when I quit drinking in January this year. I know many of us would say this is BS... yet, somehow, it worked for me. I just could not lose this one.
Sorry guys I guess I'm getting a little too emotional and banal here... but I am emotional about it for a reason, and I don't want to not feel this way now.
Thanks again
Originally Posted by Gottalife
God had found me quieter employment for that time.
For me, this current job of mine is actually pretty quiet in the everyday. It's research... you mostly stay in a corner doing experiments and analyzing data... these days the experiments are usually done by others and I mainly analyze, discuss, write up, do more searching and speculating, interactions... Can do a lot of it from home also. Lots of responsibilities that require a sharp mind and sane judgment. I also need to train people. This is also a job where I can indulge in my seemingly endless curiosity about the world, about people, about how all this works, and about the mysteries of what troubled me most in life (addiction, etc)...
Often many of us talk about intense relationships on these boards. For me so far, in the professional front of things, this current job of mine has been by far The Love of My Life, if we allow a metaphor. If that makes sense. I think I wrote about this here and there on SR, maybe just not this passionately. But it is true. This job was also a very important factor and inspiration when I quit drinking in January this year. I know many of us would say this is BS... yet, somehow, it worked for me. I just could not lose this one.
Sorry guys I guess I'm getting a little too emotional and banal here...
but I am emotional about it for a reason, and I don't want to not feel this way now. Thanks again
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Originally Posted by ANewDay2014
I have something similar. Got to decline a wedding invite that's happening in a few months, I just know I'm not strong enough.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
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Haennie! This is great to read. I admire your self awareness and have since arriving here on SR. Something I strive for so, for example, I do not go to events such as baby showers only to be slapped with a ridiculous amount of wheel spinning regarding an event which could be taken or left.
May we all take a play from your book when faced with similar decisions
Happy Friday!
May we all take a play from your book when faced with similar decisions
Happy Friday!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Originally Posted by MIRecovery
After you have experienced a hundred people or so in a similar situation that ended up drinking it will become an even better decision
I respect you, MIRecovery, very highly.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I get on my high horse to often. I did exactly what you didn't. I didn't drink but it was the stupidest thing I did in my recovery. I ended up in a major panic attack that took me two days to get over
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