Friend pressured me to drink
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
Friend pressured me to drink
Well who I considered a friend, I think today he moved firmly into "Guy I know" territory. So I met up with him for a catch up at a bar, while I was at the bathroom he bought me a beer. Which is fine, he didn't know and was being friendly.
When I told him I didn't drink any more and said I'll get a diet coke instead he got offended and pretty much told me to drink it because he bought it.
Aside from that I told him I'd give the bloody money back if it bothers him that much, this is a guy that knows, very well, just how bad I was in terms of drinking. He has in the past mentioned that I should at the very least cut back.
When I resisted and told him I'd been clean for a few months, he took that as proof I wasn't addicted and when I pointed out how utterly stupid that way of thinking was, and that how reckless and selfish it was to try and convince a recovering addict to relapse because today you fancy a drinking buddy, he called me a c**t and I left.
Some people, right?
When I told him I didn't drink any more and said I'll get a diet coke instead he got offended and pretty much told me to drink it because he bought it.
Aside from that I told him I'd give the bloody money back if it bothers him that much, this is a guy that knows, very well, just how bad I was in terms of drinking. He has in the past mentioned that I should at the very least cut back.
When I resisted and told him I'd been clean for a few months, he took that as proof I wasn't addicted and when I pointed out how utterly stupid that way of thinking was, and that how reckless and selfish it was to try and convince a recovering addict to relapse because today you fancy a drinking buddy, he called me a c**t and I left.
Some people, right?
Unbroken
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Apache Jct
Posts: 10
This guy is not a friend. It sounds to me like his act of kindness and being generous was not acknowledged and hurt his ego. His ego was more important than your health. Knowing that you are an alcoholic and still trying to pressure you to drink was a narcissistic act of selfishness beyond belief. If he were a real friend he would not even want to bring you to a bar to catch up. If he were selfless he would meet you for coffee or dinner at a non-alcohol serving establishment.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
a) He is not a friend
b) He is probably an alcoholic
c) Meeting people in a bar in early sobriety is not a good idea
d) Good riddance to a bad apple, when toxic people like that who don't have your best interest at heart leave your life, it opens the doors for good ones to come in
b) He is probably an alcoholic
c) Meeting people in a bar in early sobriety is not a good idea
d) Good riddance to a bad apple, when toxic people like that who don't have your best interest at heart leave your life, it opens the doors for good ones to come in
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Location: Leeds
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Originally Posted by theunbrokenone 
If he were a real friend he would not even want to bring you to a bar to catch up. If he were selfless he would meet you for coffee or dinner at a non-alcohol serving establishment.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Lower Chute
Posts: 33
Well done, nicely handled.
Not a friend at all, but I can guarantee he feels worse than you right now, inadequate and ashamed that he hasn't got the self-control you have now found. You quite rightly pointed out his stupidity and it annoyed him. Move on, you don't need the negativity.
Not a friend at all, but I can guarantee he feels worse than you right now, inadequate and ashamed that he hasn't got the self-control you have now found. You quite rightly pointed out his stupidity and it annoyed him. Move on, you don't need the negativity.
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Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
Originally Posted by Carlotta
b) He is probably an alcoholic
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Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
Originally Posted by GracieLou
I think after that he would move to "guy I no longer know".
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
He could subconsciously (or consciously) feel that your being clean is like judging him and his lifestyle. Or maybe he is an ahole. Who knows. Good for you for standing your ground!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You'll find out alot about your "friends" in how they react to your Sobriety, I was amazed at some of the reactions.
Funny enough I now have a friend who sticks up for me when someone does that and I have to calm him down, as he gets a bit aggressive, he's always saying "he's just not having a beer, leave it"
Funny enough I now have a friend who sticks up for me when someone does that and I have to calm him down, as he gets a bit aggressive, he's always saying "he's just not having a beer, leave it"
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