Al Anon = Bakery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Al Anon = Bakery?
In reference to going to the hardware store to buy bread, I need some bread and I don't know where a bakery is. I'm guessing Al anon is my best bet and although I saw my counselor yesterday my session was cut in half because baby DD had a major allergic reaction in Childcare so I had to leave and rush to get her.
I have a lot on my plate and while EVERYONE complains that their husbands don't help enough, mine is a completely different level. And I feel sad for my toddler because she tells me everyday that she misses her dad. I know the feeling is probably gone for her soon after she says it but the sadness I have for her lingers. I think this is what real Codependency looks like. Ugh. I need bread.
I have a lot on my plate and while EVERYONE complains that their husbands don't help enough, mine is a completely different level. And I feel sad for my toddler because she tells me everyday that she misses her dad. I know the feeling is probably gone for her soon after she says it but the sadness I have for her lingers. I think this is what real Codependency looks like. Ugh. I need bread.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
what the hell huh? why not give it a try? i don't believe they kill you and eat you at the FIRST meeting, i think they wait a few weeks! LOL
sorry about the counseling session getting cut short....and by yet another life THING. argh.
sorry about the counseling session getting cut short....and by yet another life THING. argh.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Yeah, I'm ready to drink the koolaide and try Al anon. I'm kind of scraping by emotionally and I don't know any other IRL people who actually know anything about alcoholism or codependency so I'm feeling a little isolated.
As long as they don't haze the newcomers I guess it won't be too awful.
As long as they don't haze the newcomers I guess it won't be too awful.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
LOL Stung, I think you will make it through the hazing! It's not some huge commitment, try it, if you like it great, if not, don't go back or try a meeting somewhere else. I think people overthink it a lot, I know I certainly did when going to Celebrate Recovery.
Tight Hugs. Hope your little is OK? Allergic reactions can be super scary.
XXX
Tight Hugs. Hope your little is OK? Allergic reactions can be super scary.
XXX
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
If Alanon isn't the bakery, it's at least a decent supermarket w/a good selection of white, wheat and rye, buns and muffins and pita...
Like they say, take what you want and leave the rest!
Hoping you give it a whirl, Stung. Take it from a bakery delivery driver, you'll probably find something to fill that empty spot there.
Like they say, take what you want and leave the rest!
Hoping you give it a whirl, Stung. Take it from a bakery delivery driver, you'll probably find something to fill that empty spot there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
I'm on SR for me, but two weeks ago I went to my first Al Anon meeting because of long term and severe issues of a relative who the family has run out of ideas on how to handle. People could not have been more welcoming and I was quite comfortable. I even spoke. For the record, I've never been to AA so beyond knowing there are similarities I can't speak about how they differ. Based on my singular experience, if you think it would be beneficial I'd strongly encourage you to go. There's really no downside.
Yeah, I know it's odd writing that I'm on SR for me and go to Al Anon because of a relative. Life is like that sometimes.
Yeah, I know it's odd writing that I'm on SR for me and go to Al Anon because of a relative. Life is like that sometimes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Stung I was resistant to alanon too, but finally went and I'm so glad I did.
Like you, I had no one to talk to about AH's drinking and my codie tendencies. I just really needed to be with people who really get it, people who wouldn't pass judgment or tell me what I should do.
I found it there and oh how it helps. I've found no pressure to do steps, find a sponsor, or even share. And sometimes I just listen.
I went to four different groups before I found people.I really clicked with. I love the diversity of people in my group, they're a great bunch.
And ya know, no one made me drink KoolAid.
Like you, I had no one to talk to about AH's drinking and my codie tendencies. I just really needed to be with people who really get it, people who wouldn't pass judgment or tell me what I should do.
I found it there and oh how it helps. I've found no pressure to do steps, find a sponsor, or even share. And sometimes I just listen.
I went to four different groups before I found people.I really clicked with. I love the diversity of people in my group, they're a great bunch.
And ya know, no one made me drink KoolAid.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
A good load of carbs always helps me sleep. I'd sure try the bakery if I were you.
It's just another tool that might work, and God knows we can all use as many tools as we can find. If not, set it aside but know it's there. Sometimes different tools are more relevant at different times.
Hope your baby is okay!
Sending you peace and hugs tonight.
It's just another tool that might work, and God knows we can all use as many tools as we can find. If not, set it aside but know it's there. Sometimes different tools are more relevant at different times.
Hope your baby is okay!
Sending you peace and hugs tonight.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I really like my counselor and being able to talk things out with her but I need something extra too. Florence often refers to building Team Florence and while I have a good team of friends I don't have any friends that understand this stuff and it's really the only stuff I'm struggling with.
I almost need a single parents support group more than I need an alanon type group. It's when parenting stuff comes up that I feel really out of it because I feel like I NEED someone to share this load with when stressful stuff happens, like allergic reactions. I don't know any other single parents, and the remarried women I know weren't single very long before they were remarried. Plus, I'm not technically single but effectively I am. I just need IRL ppl to relate to. I don't need AH but I feel like I need a coparent and I need some ppl in my life that get it so I can reach out to them instead of AH when I feel in need. Whatever type of bread that is, that's what I want to find.
All I know is that my current scenario isn't working so I'm gonna change it up a bit and see what happens.
And baby DD is fine, just a stressful and scary scenario. They were getting ready to give her an Epi before I arrived. Thankfully I got there in time because it wasn't necessary.
I almost need a single parents support group more than I need an alanon type group. It's when parenting stuff comes up that I feel really out of it because I feel like I NEED someone to share this load with when stressful stuff happens, like allergic reactions. I don't know any other single parents, and the remarried women I know weren't single very long before they were remarried. Plus, I'm not technically single but effectively I am. I just need IRL ppl to relate to. I don't need AH but I feel like I need a coparent and I need some ppl in my life that get it so I can reach out to them instead of AH when I feel in need. Whatever type of bread that is, that's what I want to find.
All I know is that my current scenario isn't working so I'm gonna change it up a bit and see what happens.
And baby DD is fine, just a stressful and scary scenario. They were getting ready to give her an Epi before I arrived. Thankfully I got there in time because it wasn't necessary.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
I read an article today about a group in VT that trades services. Each member has some skill set (physical therapy, babysitting, handy-man stuff) that they trade with others in the group. You live in a progressive area, I bet there are all kinds of groups there with women/men in similar circumstances that could use "help." Are there mother-child exercise groups in your area? Not the gymboree thing, but actual small private groups with trainers? I see them in the park all the time. The moms have their strollers and toddlers snacking while they exercise with the guidance of a trainer. Afterwards they sit around a chat. You have the luxury of time (even though you have the kiddos with you), why not take advantage of that and join a mother's kind of group activity. Even if it is lame or not you cup of tea, you might meet people. I used to volunteer a good bit and met women that way. Junior Leagues have tons of moms in them.
It really sounds like you need networking with other moms you can lean on. Yoga classes tend to have nice people in them. Mother's yoga?
It really sounds like you need networking with other moms you can lean on. Yoga classes tend to have nice people in them. Mother's yoga?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I have some really good normie and mommy friends but I don't want to share the alcoholism stuff with them because I don't want it to follow my daughters around, his burden is NOT theirs. I complain to them about AH being a lackluster husband and dad and they don't get it, they sympathize and share how their husbands screw up too. Partly because they don't know exactly what is going on but also because even if they did know they still wouldn't understand. Alcoholism and codependency are tough to comprehend if you haven't experienced it first hand.
That's why I'm feeling isolated. I need a different set of ppl that do get it. I've done stroller strides in the past when I was prego with baby DD. We're active in play groups and our health club and have a good support system but they don't really understand what's going on.
That's why I'm feeling isolated. I need a different set of ppl that do get it. I've done stroller strides in the past when I was prego with baby DD. We're active in play groups and our health club and have a good support system but they don't really understand what's going on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by Stung 
I almost need a single parents support group more than I need an alanon type group. It's when parenting stuff comes up that I feel really out of it because I feel like I NEED someone to share this load with when stressful stuff happens, like allergic reactions. I don't know any other single parents, and the remarried women I know weren't single very long before they were remarried. Plus, I'm not technically single but effectively I am. I just need IRL ppl to relate to. I don't need AH but I feel like I need a coparent and I need some ppl in my life that get it so I can reach out to them instead of AH when I feel in need. Whatever type of bread that is, that's what I want to find.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
A Bakery? A Bakery?
It is a MEAT MARKET! A Meat Market, I tells you, Stung.
To me, it is like unto a Veggie Buffet, floating on a sea of Plum Perfume.
[ahem]
Would you just knock this crap off and GO?
Really, the ONLY folks I see that Alanon does NOT help . . . are the folks who do not go.
How's THAT working for you?
It is a MEAT MARKET! A Meat Market, I tells you, Stung.
To me, it is like unto a Veggie Buffet, floating on a sea of Plum Perfume.
[ahem]
Would you just knock this crap off and GO?
Really, the ONLY folks I see that Alanon does NOT help . . . are the folks who do not go.
How's THAT working for you?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
I am not a big 'joiner' of things. I went to Al Anon and took away what resonated with me. One hour a week where I felt like I was with with a bunch of people who "get" the madness of living with alcoholism. That in itself was worth going for, knowing I was not alone in my experience. The tools learned have been very helpful.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
