In laws
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
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In laws
How many of you have in laws that look great to everyone but you?
Mine does a lot of things just to look good. (And in the past has helped me out at AH's request) I do appreciate all that they have done, but I feel like a unwanted guest around them. For example they bought everyone pro t-shirts but me. My mil brings out snacks if I say I like something she won't bring it back over. I have to be very careful of what I say because my mil and sil will twist a slip of the tongue into something that is not.
I am also very suspicious of their intentions because I never know any plans until the last minuet.
I know AH should of taken care of this long ago but he's not an A for nothing.
The reason I am asking is the last couple of nights AH has stopped at his moms and no one knows why he is stopping. I would not be surprised if she was giving him money for a lawyer.
How has others handled their suspicious feelings even if there are reasons.
Mine does a lot of things just to look good. (And in the past has helped me out at AH's request) I do appreciate all that they have done, but I feel like a unwanted guest around them. For example they bought everyone pro t-shirts but me. My mil brings out snacks if I say I like something she won't bring it back over. I have to be very careful of what I say because my mil and sil will twist a slip of the tongue into something that is not.
I am also very suspicious of their intentions because I never know any plans until the last minuet.
I know AH should of taken care of this long ago but he's not an A for nothing.
The reason I am asking is the last couple of nights AH has stopped at his moms and no one knows why he is stopping. I would not be surprised if she was giving him money for a lawyer.
How has others handled their suspicious feelings even if there are reasons.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
Originally Posted by cricket123 
How many of you have in laws that look great to everyone but you?
Mine does a lot of things just to look good. (And in the past has helped me out at AH's request) I do appreciate all that they have done, but I feel like a unwanted guest around them. For example they bought everyone pro t-shirts but me. My mil brings out snacks if I say I like something she won't bring it back over. I have to be very careful of what I say because my mil and sil will twist a slip of the tongue into something that is not.
I am also very suspicious of their intentions because I never know any plans until the last minuet.
I know AH should of taken care of this long ago but he's not an A for nothing.
The reason I am asking is the last couple of nights AH has stopped at his moms and no one knows why he is stopping. I would not be surprised if she was giving him money for a lawyer.
How has others handled their suspicious feelings even if there are reasons.
Mine does a lot of things just to look good. (And in the past has helped me out at AH's request) I do appreciate all that they have done, but I feel like a unwanted guest around them. For example they bought everyone pro t-shirts but me. My mil brings out snacks if I say I like something she won't bring it back over. I have to be very careful of what I say because my mil and sil will twist a slip of the tongue into something that is not.
I am also very suspicious of their intentions because I never know any plans until the last minuet.
I know AH should of taken care of this long ago but he's not an A for nothing.
The reason I am asking is the last couple of nights AH has stopped at his moms and no one knows why he is stopping. I would not be surprised if she was giving him money for a lawyer.
How has others handled their suspicious feelings even if there are reasons.
My XAH family hates me and even told him well that is what happens when you marry someone who doesn't do drugs or isn't an alcoholic
His whole family both sides love each other "to death" but when I come around I was like the plague.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 296
I would expect them to take his side. I'm just suspicious of what's going on. I would be really surprised if they even realize the extent of his problem.
My question was how do you handle being suspicious without causing yourself serious anxiety.
My question was how do you handle being suspicious without causing yourself serious anxiety.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
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how do you handle being suspicious without causing yourself serious anxiety.
Be aware of what you have control over; let everything else go.
(Only problem is it's so easy to say and so hard to do...)
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Suspicion is fear and paranoia.
Fear is best fought with Faith.
When I am afraid I say the Serenity Prayer and turn over my fear to my Higher Power. Meditation and prayer are what save me, along with a healthy diet and exercise and getting enough sleep and staying away from too much caffeine and sugar.
Fear is best fought with Faith.
When I am afraid I say the Serenity Prayer and turn over my fear to my Higher Power. Meditation and prayer are what save me, along with a healthy diet and exercise and getting enough sleep and staying away from too much caffeine and sugar.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: acceptance
Posts: 126
I am sorry for what you are struggling with, I know how awful it feels to be on the outside. Yes they will take his side, it's the natural course.
I had problems with the in-laws and like Radiant, they felt he made a huge mistake marrying someone that wasn't a "regular" drinker and did not do drugs. They didn't feel that way at first, but when my A escalated of course it was all my fault. And now they are all sure (including him) that I was the cause of his drinking and pill addiction.
And while I was around them I had to be very careful about anything I said because it was twisted and turned on me by all of them. I was made out to be the crazy one.
Every time he relapsed he would go to "Mommy's" house on a regular basis and the last time I absolutely suspected what they were up to. So I did stick with my gut, kept my mouth quiet and listened. I overheard of few conversations that gave me advance warning of what was about to happen.
He and they had a plan but because I followed my intuition I got the jump on him and them and though it didn't end up as well as I wanted, I came out better than I would have had I disregarded what was clearly going on.
I am not saying that is what is happening with you, but just watch and listen carefully, you may have the opportunity to see it coming and defend yourself before they can act.
I had problems with the in-laws and like Radiant, they felt he made a huge mistake marrying someone that wasn't a "regular" drinker and did not do drugs. They didn't feel that way at first, but when my A escalated of course it was all my fault. And now they are all sure (including him) that I was the cause of his drinking and pill addiction.
And while I was around them I had to be very careful about anything I said because it was twisted and turned on me by all of them. I was made out to be the crazy one.
Every time he relapsed he would go to "Mommy's" house on a regular basis and the last time I absolutely suspected what they were up to. So I did stick with my gut, kept my mouth quiet and listened. I overheard of few conversations that gave me advance warning of what was about to happen.
He and they had a plan but because I followed my intuition I got the jump on him and them and though it didn't end up as well as I wanted, I came out better than I would have had I disregarded what was clearly going on.
I am not saying that is what is happening with you, but just watch and listen carefully, you may have the opportunity to see it coming and defend yourself before they can act.
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