Enough do this madness - 6/25/14
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Enough do this madness - 6/25/14
Ok friends, off the pity pot and onto Day One. This drinking has not been fun. It makes me just tired. Tired all the time. Have a drink(s), tired. Get up, tired. Night tremors back. The bed looks like five people slept in it. Unexplained bruises and cuts. The only thing I don't have is any tolerance. I get woozy with one drink, but my brain tells me I can handle more, so I kept on until I was in blackout mode.
Today, I said to H, how about we make this Day One. He said great! I have the meds I took with the last home detox which was relatively easy. I only used one or two, so I have them here with me if I need them.
I don't know exactly what went wrong with this past attempt. Well I do, I drank. It's the why I need to figure out. I could feel it building in me. Thoughts of drinking came harder and more frequent. I just felt flat. I knew it was coming. I knew I would drink.
So here I am again with my new sober date. :
One time this is going to take....
Today, I said to H, how about we make this Day One. He said great! I have the meds I took with the last home detox which was relatively easy. I only used one or two, so I have them here with me if I need them.
I don't know exactly what went wrong with this past attempt. Well I do, I drank. It's the why I need to figure out. I could feel it building in me. Thoughts of drinking came harder and more frequent. I just felt flat. I knew it was coming. I knew I would drink.
So here I am again with my new sober date. :
One time this is going to take....
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Good luck this time round Raider. Think hard about the relapse and how you can deal with the pressure to drink when it comes around. It will come, but you can have your strategies to meet it, and win. Don't forget SR is great support.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
welcome back, raider. It is absolutely nonsensical what we will put ourselves through for a drink! Once it quits working for us it never works again. It only brings pain, confusion and depression. If it doesn't outright kill us.
What I needed was a plan. AA worked pretty well. It gave me a framework to rebuild my life. RR gave me more insight into the nature of the Beast. This was crucial for me.
good to see!
Love from Lenina
What I needed was a plan. AA worked pretty well. It gave me a framework to rebuild my life. RR gave me more insight into the nature of the Beast. This was crucial for me.
good to see!
Love from Lenina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
I have been racking my head about it. I should know why! Why don't I know why!!! Yes Lenina - pain, confusion and depression!!! Eleven days of it. I just don't get it. What was the flat feeling about. I want to know why!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Raider, I just checked out the Old Farmer's Almanac "Best Days" chart, and today is the best day to "end projects." So it is good to remember what you are leaving behind.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
raider,
In my experience the AV uses many voices. That feeling is one. Anxiety is another. Agitation is yet another. All those vague yet compelling "reasons" to drink are the addiction speaking. being able to sort out what was my authentic voice from the addictive voice was a revelation to me. It all got so much more clear and easier to say "No" and be happy it truly was never again.
Love from Lenina
In my experience the AV uses many voices. That feeling is one. Anxiety is another. Agitation is yet another. All those vague yet compelling "reasons" to drink are the addiction speaking. being able to sort out what was my authentic voice from the addictive voice was a revelation to me. It all got so much more clear and easier to say "No" and be happy it truly was never again.
Love from Lenina
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
