sagittarius714

Hi. I am new to this, not sure what to do. So far, I have been reading posts. I'm 43, wife & mother, and I drink every night. I want to stop. Back in high school, I hung out with the party crowd. Wasted every weekend. Then I married one of the "partiers" I hung out with, and the party moved to our apartment. We did normal things of course, worked, had kids, ran the house, but weekends were still party time. Over the course of a few years in the 90's, we used cocaine. During this time, I started smoking cigarettes, because I needed "something". After we no longer did cocaine, the drinking started creeping up on me. Slowly, of course, as it is sneaky. So, I have just quit smoking recently, and I want to stop drinking also, but I keep wondering if I am just replacing one addiction with another, and how do I possibly get rid of all of them? That need for "something", what do I do with it? How do I get rid of it? Or is it with me forever since I started drinking and partying in my teenage years.

Thank you for listening.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum sagittarius!!

No one is powerless, addiction doesn't have to be forever, you can do this!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR to help you through, it can be done, there are loads of people here that have come through it!!

least

Welcome to SR. You can stop drinking and live a better life. I tried and failed many times but finally 'got it' and have been sober over four years now.

Have you any support to stop drinking? Family or friends? What about AA? Counseling can be very helpful too. There are many ways to stop drinking and stay sober. I hope you find what works for you.

360shoes

Hi Sagitarius,
Me too. I'm a sag...and an ex drinker. We have a few things in common.

I don't know. It's possible we look at other things to fill a void and until we figure out what the real void is we just replace one after another. Sounds complicated. I kind of like simple.

For me, I knew I had no real chance of finding the real me if I didn't quit drinking. That was my granddaddy of all. Drinking. I've quit about everything known to man at least one time or another but I learned none of them really got me where I wanted to be...except the quitting drinking. The rest then fell into place eventually.

Just me.

Sounds like it isn't working for you so good for you for being open to giving it up. You can do it! Ain't always easy at first but it's certainly possible. Give yourself a chance to learn who you really are. You are worth it.

Welcome btw.

sagittarius714

Thanks for the responses. I am definitely open to trying, but come night time, my normal routine is to drink some beers in front of the tv until its time to sleep, or pass out. That's the thing, I can't sleep without it and I've tried all the OTC sleep aids and they dont help, they make me feel horrible. How do you make the adjustment to sleep like a normal person?

DoubleDragons

Hi, Sag! The sleep gets better in time with sobriety, but it takes about 2-3 weeks. Once the "good sleep" kicks in you will realize that you haven't been really sleeping in years! Real sleep is so wonderful and so different than "passed out." In fact, good sleep is one of my favorite aspects of sobriety.

bigsombrero

Welcome - sounds like you've yet to figure out a way to quit drinking. It's a nasty habit to quit if you're drinking every night for such a long time. I am familiar with that scenario. We all know about needing that "something", many of us started smoking cigs or pot after quitting alcohol because the thought of being stone cold sober, for just one night let alone a lifetime, seemed impossible.

It didn't seem like a life worth living, in fact. And that's pretty sad, really.

I am 39 and was with the "party crowd" for college and the party also relocated to my apartment as an adult. But just like any good party - it must come to an end. You've got to get something more out of life. Sounds like you realize it.

You'll find some great suggestions here - a lot of them might sound scary (AA, etc) but don't run away too quick. Stick around, read the stories, and welcome to SR!

360shoes

I had to just accept I probably wasn't going to sleep too well at first. I had to accept a lot of things were going to feel different. Not all were pleasant. But they passed and I got through them.

It makes sense that if every night you played out that same routine....I had it too...that your brain is going to wonder what the heck when you try to change it. Plan on it being and feeling different.

I didn't sleep great either. About 2 weeks of that. I tried meditation YouTube videos, sleepytime tea, hot baths, you name it. Even if I only had a couple hours I figured it was still better for my body than what the alcohol was doing.

I had to be willing to take what my body handed me and trust it was the only way and it would get better. It did.

Ice cream helped too.

pupkin

Welcome, sag714. Taking away my "something" has been one of the hardest parts of sobriety for me, too. I love being sober, but where's my treat? What do I get now when I want to chill out, or celebrate something, or forget about something, or make a tedious task more tolerable. What I've learned for myself (and am trying to remember ) is that I don't "need something" to face life. I just have to relearn how to feel good, feel bad, feel bored, feel whatever without the need for some kind of supplemental pleasure pellet or anesthesia.

The sleep thing is tough, but it'll get better. Others are right, it may take a bit of time to relearn how to "go to bed" and to get your rhythms equalized, but eventually you'll start to wake up in the mornings feeling like a new person.

Good luck to you. Keep posting. I'm wishing you all the best.

NightsWatch

I believe that need for "something" is part of the human condition, but it's probably especially jarring for people like us who have used alcohol for the majority of our lives to fill that void. Booze is one of the most effective ways I've found to obliterate that need, thus the addiction, although it goes without saying that it's not the healthiest way. A lot of us newly sober haven't lived life this way long enough to experience having that need without drowning it with booze, so we don't know what to do with it. For me, learning to be sober means living with the discomfort of needing that "something", but not acting on it. I don't expect the need to ever go away completely, but I believe it will become less of an ache the longer I refuse to use alcohol to fulfill that need. Thinking that I will "get rid" of this need doesn't work for me, because it makes me want to reach for the bottle again. Acceptance has been the key for me.

Needinghelp82

I'm on day 27 of not drinking and sleeping has been an issue. I'm so used to drinking until sleep just comes so that's been rough.

It's got better though as time has moved on. I find a hot drink helps.

DisplacedGRITS

Insomnia is very common in the early stages of withdrawal from alcohol. I'm bipolar and I tend to stay up for days when I'm cycling. My doctor was able to put me on a medication that has a side effect of making me drowsy. I also take Valarian root extract and melatonin (10 mg dissolving tablet) to aid in my sleep. I've had to be careful about my coffee (skinnylatteextashot) consumption. It's hard to avoid caffeinated coffee in the late afternoon in Seattle!

The Valarian seems to help a lot. If my insomnia is being especially stubborn, a cup of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra tea (2 bags to a cup) really seals the deal. Have you given that a shot?

Jupiters

fellow sag here too and day 45!
like others have mentioned, the sleep cycle is gonna take some time to adjust, but it will eventually adjust!
I take a 10mg melatonin as well like DG and the sleepy time tea...seems to help a bit anyways. But I knew I just had to accept that the first few weeks/months were going to be a period of adjusting...gotta ride it out.
Hang in there!! and keep posting!!