Dream2bClean

Hi,

I have been here before, to one online meeting, and that is all. I was doin wel controlling my taking of pills here and there and not drinking very much. But my husband and I just went on vacation, my partner in crime, and as always we used that as an excuse to go on a huge binge. We took tons of pills, drank all day, spent too much money, ended up getting mugged trying to buy cocaine, and since i have felt like vrap for days. Mentally and physically.

I have a good friend here who has been supplying my husband and i with xanax for some time because he has a prescription. He just came back from his vacation yesterday and said that everyone in his family is very concerned forr him and thinks that he needs to go to aa. He sid he thinks he is going to go to his doctor and ask to get ris of the xanax prescription, i know that would help me and my husband a lot.

I have gotten a lot of godd advice here before, but never really acted on any of it. I am starting to resent my husband because i feel he should be protecting me and he always ends up bringing stuff to me. It is fun at first and then we go crazy. I have a big financial mess to clean up now, and have just started a new job after 7 years at my last one so I have no room to mess up there. I am very stressed and thinkn i am depressed as well. I am willing to accept any advive.

Thanks,
want2bclean

Alice Wonder

(((((big hug)))))) for you. hang in there and keep posting it helps. meetings really help so do them online and face 2 face for the support. try not to beat up on yourself too much as you can't change what "has" happened only what "will" happen. you will find your happiness. love-alice

KelKel

Hi...good to see you back around these parts.
Sounds like you might be ready to take the bull by the horns and take a serious look at your choices in life. Maybe you have had enough of the party barge and are ready to get off ...
Check out the forums here...read and keep posting. I think you will find we are all in the same boat here.

lizzy81001

as much as you are resenting your husband, he does not make the decisions for you. i hope i don't sound mean, i just don't want you shifting responsibility for yourself to someone else. learning to take responsibility for yourself is a key component to getting clean and sober. you are under the impression that if your husband or friend weren't around to supply these things you wouldn't do them. that is not the real issue. the issue is your dependence on these drugs. i definitely believe getting away from the drugs or people who use would help, but only you can make the decision to use or not to use. i would love to see you clean and sober, as it is obvious you are not content with the kind of life you are living right now. i think counseling would be great. again, i hope i haven't sounded too harsh, i really want to give sound advice. i hope you keep posting and know you will get some great support here.