whatsgoingon

Sorry to ask this. But why do I love drinking?

It's a question that is really bothering me and its something that is stoping me getting better. I know drinking is wrong and bad for me but I crave it and enjoy it. I also regret it. I'm also sad about it.

My relationship with booze is so wrong.?

Whatsgoingon?

doggonecarl

Don't confuse needing it to loving it.

coming_clean

Good question...

Why do you?

If your relationship with a man/woman (don't know your gender/preferences haha) is bad you brake up right?

Why keep booze cause it's the biggest, meanest, skankiest, abusive ho is town

PurpleKnight

There's a part of the answer that is to do with addiction itself, the body is used to having alcohol, we then become Sober and the body ceases to have what it has in large quantities for a period of time, it naturally starts to adjust to not having alcohol and craves what it is used to having, but these things can be part mind games and physical withdrawal.

The rest of the answer can be to do with other factors like escapism, it's easier to deal with life by numbing it, boredom and not filling your time with other activities, again it's an easier option to do what we have always done, to that I'll throw in the phrase old habits die hard.

Keep in mind alcohol will cause some to keep drinking it until they die of the thing they loved, some will not stop and end up in a box before quitting!! if that doesn't indicate how powerful alcohol can be in lying to us that we "love drinking" then nothing will!!

Aellyce

Maybe this^ is why. Have you tried quitting yet? It's often suggested that does not matter why we drink, stop first and focus on simply staying sober instead of pondering these complicated questions. You can figure out why you drank later with a clearer, sober mind. If you keep being stuck in the endless speculation of "why" it might be late before you can change it.

Give sobriety a chance first, think more later. It's clearly not only fun for you.

LBrain

like doggonecarl sez, at a certain point the distinction between needing it and loving it gets lost along the way.
this is what is called alcoholism.

sounds like it is going to be a difficult quit for you. but it is something you gotta do.

cardoon

Look into rational recovery and AVRT. You love it because it gives you deep pleasure.
The problem is it has many bad side effects some of which you've mentioned. Sounds like it might be time for you to try quitting and see how that feels.

SoberHoopsFan

I've stopped even asking myself that question. I just know it's caused me a ton of problems and will continue to do so if I keep at it. The brain is a strange organ, I don't think science fully understands addiction, so don't get too caught up in it. If you know it's causing problems in your life, best to just cut it out for good

firstymer

I recently discovered a song by a Seattle band named Doctorfunk. The name of the song is "It may be very good, (but that don't mean it's good for you)".

That sort of sums up my opinion of alcohol.

totfit

Delusional drug addiction maybe? For some of us it feels really good, but does very bad things to us.

totfit

Oh yeah......................can't forget the flood of dopamine some of us get.

whatsgoingon

Thanks for the replys guys.

I wrote my post last night after I had just one bottle of beer. It's amazing how powerful alcohol is and the it takes hold of my mind.

Needless to say today as I sneek the empties into the boot of my car I feel guilty, sad and lonely.

Verte

No apologies necessary. Stay logged into the forum as long and often as possible. Read as much as you can and post as often as you need.

I came here with only confusion and am still here finally asking questions and finding answers. Much to my delight, I find answers to the questions before I even know to ask them. Sober.

Alcohol is tricky. Addiction is tricky. Good thing you know something is up Now you have to come up with a plan.

FeenixxRising

Speaking for myself I loved booze because it made me feel good. But the price I paid for a few hours of bliss increased each time I drank. In the end the cost was outrageously expensive in financial, physical and emotional terms. The only rational answer was to stop.

Needinghelp82

I used to love drinking. Looking back I think I romanticised it - at uni I was the typical party girl thinking I was having a good time going out. I didn't outgrow it though and found myself drinking a lot. I wasn't enjoying it, I felt I needed it.

llastchance8

Most of us felt the same way, as you do.. It took me quite some to realize that I did not love booze. I loved the effect produced in my mind and my body, after consuming booze. It gave me a very false comfort feeling. It made me forget the reality of the situation and made me feel ,like the way I liked it. It allowed to me to escape from the painful actions. It made me feel confident when I needed it .. But all these were produced by altering my brain chemistry . But I did have to pay heavy price. As many of SR friends have mentioned , love for booze is a one sided relation ship. Booze will do its job on any one over a period of time. We might love booze. It does not love us back. It does its job very well of ruining families, careers, life and eventually killing..

instant

Addiction is it's own reason.

It took me six months of being sober before i could see how my emotional system was completely in the service of alcohol.

LadyBlue0527

There is absolute brilliance in the above words!

Lots of great replies in this thread.

whatsgoingon, when I read your post I have searched for many ways to simplify what I've found by being diligent and getting as far out as I have. The best way that I could come up with is that addiction is a liar.

When the decision is made or considered to quit the thoughts flood in. What will I do for fun? What happens when there's a celebration? I can't even thing the words "never again", too scary! None of those have anything to do with alcohol.

Then, if you hang on and power through and do what needs to be done an amazing thing happens. You find out that all of those questions were the addiction itself speaking. Then, you begin to experience life in a way that you haven't for a long time. When you're happy it's true happiness, not something that's plastic and thought to be happiness due to a liquid. You start to look forward to things like you did when you were a child.

You finally get to see the spell that you were under for what it is. You've broken free of it and what's more clear than anything else is that alcohol wasn't helping you to make it through life, it was keeping you from living it.

MrBen

I don't think I ever loved booze. I think I had a lot of emotional problems and I dealt with them in the most destructive way possible. But the times I actually enjoyed drinking are very few. I think it takes a while for your head to readjust so you can see booze for the destructive force it is.

scintillady

I have to admit I love it, too. If I could stop at 2 or 3 glasses of wine I probably wouldn't be even thinking of giving it up. I have to admit that I really miss it and still can't imagine that I'll give it up forever. I'm at 38 days right now, and plan to keep at it, but I plan to take a vacation in September and can't absolutely say that I won't enjoy a few glasses of wine while at the cabin. Maybe by then I'll decide that it won't appeal to me as much. I'm planning on staying sober at least until then.