Serenidad

I made it 5 days and was doing great & then all of a sudden the evil alcohol demon told me I needed to go to a bar for a few drinks! As much as I tried to fight it, I gave in! What can I do to fight this evil demon? Help...anyone?? Any advice is good...thanks & God Bless!

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DisplacedGRITS

How are you trying to get sober? Are you just trying to not drink or are you working a program for long term sobriety? There's AA, AVERT, SMART and Rational Recovery to name a few. Most people find that they cannot simply stop drinking. Sobriety usually involves a change not just in the action of drinking but in patterns of thinking, habits, coping techniques and, for some programs, a spiritual awakening. Few people just quit drinking and even fewer quit drinking and stay fine with just not drinking.

If you haven't investigated a program for sobriety, i strongly urge you to do so. Ask questions here. There are many people here involved in AA and other recovery programs. Check them out until you find one that you can live with and work that program like your life depends on it because it does.

FeenixxRising

Hi Serenidad. According to your signature, you registered with this site in 2008. What have you done in the past? Have you tried AA or any of the secular self-help groups? Will you go through physical withdrawals if you stop now? If so, seeing your Dr. about a safe detox would be a good start.

FeelingGreat

Hi, I'm with DG, you've been struggling with this for a long time judging from your join date, and it might be time to look at a more formal option like rehab.
If that's out of the question maybe you can tell us more about why you keep relapsing. Do you get cravings, or how does it hit you?
Are you really committed to stopping? I see lots of posts from people who are 5 days in, struggling with the 'demon' and posting on here rather than going to the bar. They make it through to the next morning, and feel so proud of themselves and much stronger. What's your plan for when the 'demon' calls?

GroundhogDay

All I can say is one day at a time. Tell the demon no each day.

rove27

From my own experience, I was not able to quit drinking until my desire to stay sober was greater than my desire to drink. You have to really want sobriety. Willpower alone would get me through a few days while I white knuckled the urge. Wanting sobriety made quitting much easier.

Gottalife

I could do that, sometimes for up to three weeks. I stayed stopped when I made use of that time to change my life. Once I started on the AA program I got a daily extension. Before I knew it I had passed three months and I just kept going.

pauladmits

My only advice is don't compound it because your "streak" is done. Think of it as going 5-1. Solid start and you can easily keep going without starting over. I say this from experience where if I go a certain number of days and fail, I convince myself I can keep drinking before I start again. Just keep going. Get to 10-1. Wish you the best!

Dee74

I think it's vital to reach out for help. To many times I had the craving and thoguht...'oh well thats it'

Thats NOT it...

You can fight the craving, you can ask for help, and you can make different, positive decisions - believe it, serenidad

D

Johnsonsober22

Sere idea, get some pro help, talk to your doc, admit your problem, be honest and he/she will help you.... It's obviously you can fight your demons alone.... I dances with the devil for too long and almost sold my soul, but got pro help and are now 33 days sober with only one relapse after 100 days, and I feel awesome.... If you really want to too, you can, and you have plenty of support in here..... So go get it.......

Nuudawn

You cannot solve a problem without solutions.
If the goal is sobriety, it's not a bad idea to assess the barriers to achieving that goal.
Have you truly identified alcohol as a "problem" and if so, have you accepted it? In any problem solving concept...stage 1 is identifying the problem, Stage 2 is structuring the problem..stage 3 is finding solutions etc etc etc.

Alot of folks never even get to stage 1...therefore don't move any further.

Urges, cravings and yearnings are going to come...they are inevitable.
How are you going to handle them?
Make a list of things to do instead of drinking.

Investigate your options and solutions ..and figure out what works best for you.
SR is one of mine.

PurpleKnight

For me planning my days out in advance was a great help, in my first few months there was no time to go to a bar, I was busy doing other activites, it was like a military operation, every moment of the day was accounted for, I still do this when I'm feeling stress from work etc.

Leave nothing to chance and random trips to the bar won't happen!!

NightsWatch

As I mentioned in another thread, whenever I had those days in the past, I tried really hard to fight those feelings. The result was I lost most of the time and ended up drinking. The craving is so intense that you feel that you need to do something to alleviate it, and a lot of the times (at least for me), I took the easier path and opened the bottle of wine. Distractions only lasted so long, and I wasn't able to get absorbed enough in anything that would stop that little voice in the back of my mind hounding me to get a drink .

I've now been trying to use ACT therapy which has helped a lot more than everything else I've tried. It's not for everyone, because it's about letting yourself feel something that doesn't feel good without trying desperately to get rid of it. What makes it work for me is that I'm not supposed to fight it (which isn't the same as giving in to it). Those nights always left me exhausted. If you're interested, I can recommend the book I read.

Nonsensical

That evil demon, as you call it, lives in your head. It can't be educated, reasoned with, bargained with, shamed, or trusted. It must be starved.

It isn't you. It's a part of your brain that is malfunctioning with respect to alcohol. YOU are the one seeking help on SR. YOU are the one that has to tell it "NO".

I have found that making myself stronger helped. Some things that people on SR do to get stronger: Exercise, eat right, take care of other problems, find enjoyable hobbies, practice mindfulness, work the steps, volunteer for public service - whatever helps YOU be stronger makes your demon weaker.

You can do this.

IOAA2

hi. One thing that helps many is to change things that may trigger our daily lives. I needed to become more active in my normal inactive hours, needed to stop think about drinking and think about non drinking thoughts and I spent a lot of time at AA meetings learning about sobriety from the old time Pros.
I still do a lot of that and am still sober after many 24 hours so it works for me and many others.

BE WELL

Serenidad

Thx so much for your post DisplacedGRITS! (Love the name btw! )

I was sober for 6 years & relapsed last fall. I KNOW I need to go back to AA but "something" in my screwed up head keeps telling me I can do it by myself. I mean my "logical brain" says COME ON! Just don't drink!!! Is it really that hard???" Yes it is!

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Serenidad

Thx Feenix! Yes, I went to AA for 2 years and stayed sober or "alcohol-free" for 4 more with a total of almost 6 years without a drink. Tried "ONE beer" last October to see if I could control it & the rest is history...right back where I started. I'm a binge-bar drinker alcoholic so I don't really need to De-tox just need a good reason to stop I guess. I have a million reasons on paper...but when I get that craving......it's over.....I am truly powerless!

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biminiblue

I was a miserable drinker at the end. I had cut myself off from most of the world unless I absolutely had to do something like grocery shopping or a doctor appointment. I had plenty of money and no job. It was exceedingly easy to sit on my rear in front of a TV or laptop and just drink.

My house became a mess. I stopped showering and only brushed my teeth every couple days. I managed to feed my cats, but I was living on juice and rum and nuts and popcorn for the most part. Vegetables? No way. Cooking. Call a friend? What friends? I was miserable and always thinking about the next drink. Always.

Then it became I really needed that drink. It was cunning, baffling, powerful. Sneaky. One high ABV 22ounce beer became two, then I started adding tequila. Then it was fifths of tequila along with 6 packs of 9% beer in two days, then rum, then vodka. I started having physical problems. No wonder - between ingesting large amounts of poison and not eating, my body was giving up.

My heart would be beating out of my chest every night in the middle of the night as the alcohol would wear off. I started looking around for that bridge I was going to be living under if I kept it up, but still I couldn't get it together to do anything different. I was hooked. I started drinking in the morning to calm myself down.

Finally I ended up on my knees in absolute surrender one day. That day was March 4, 2014. I haven't had a drink since.

I did 90 meetings in 90 days. It was really helpful to listen to people who had been there day after day. It made me commit to each day because I wasn't going to go to a meeting after drinking and once I made the meeting, I could make it through that day. Then I knew there was another meeting the next day, and etcetera.

I didn't have to go to meetings. I didn't have anyone telling me I had to go. I hadn't gotten in any trouble and I have no family who are concerned about me. Those ninety meetings gave me a good understanding, helped me over the crazy crazy thoughts I was having in withdrawal in those first few weeks and have restored me to sanity. My house is clean, I shower, make my bed and brush my teeth every day. I call people in the program. I feel like I've got a second chance.

Gottalife

The foreword to the second edition, which I cannot quote directly talks about Dr Bob who had repeatedly tried spiritual remedies through the oxford group to fix his alcoholic problem and had failed. However, after talking to Bill and reading Dr Silkworths views on alcoholism he began pursuing the spiritual remedy with a lot more willingness. He never drank again.

At this point, AA had been going for twenty odd years, had more than 150000 recovered alcoholics, and a good bit of practical experience to go on.

The experience also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another was essential for permanent recovery.

From my experience and observation, real alcoholics might come unstuck in two main ways.
(This is often the point at which an individual realises they are a real alcoholic)

1) plenty of meetings but no steps leading to spiritual experience. The alcoholic mind remains dormant to pop up later,instead of being removed,
Or,
2) steps are taken but over time forgotten. The alcoholic stops giving it away and finds eventually that he can't keep it. The obsession comes back.

So even in the event of having taken the steps, continuing work with others is essential to permanent recovery. And the AA program is about permanent recovery.

FeenixxRising

Serenidad, If AA worked for you before, and if you agree with the program's suggestions, why not start attending meetings again, get a sponsor and rework the Steps? There is no reason why you can't get back up. Yes, it will be hard at first, but you did it before, so you know you can do it again.

You're stronger than you think you are. And stick around this site for support.