BobR

I am joyous happy and free! I also have the need to attend meetings. I also think that the 12 Steps are just not for me! I believe in total honesty.

I was as hard core as you get living the live of a substance abuser, I cross medicated but alcohol was always my first love. I lived this cycle since I was 13 yrs old, I am now 57.


I am sorry I will never be a Step Person and my biggest concern is being honest and following my program.


I will never be a "Big Book" kind of guy, yeah I read it and I get it-DON'T DRINK. That is really all I get out of it. For what it is worth I do not NOW nor will ever believe in the Literal Meaning of the Bible. I get the Christian Message-BE NICE and do not be a horse's behind.


I find to be involved in AA I literally have to LIE and that is not RIGHT. I help my fellow addict but I WILL NEVER BE A 12 STEP GUY

Any help?

Dee74

I think 'don't drink' is pretty much the basis of every recovery programme Bob

How do you cope when the 12 Step Program is just not your cup of tea?

choose one of the many many other non 12 step alternatives mebbe?

Here's some links to some of the main recovery players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

aasharon90

I don't understand the part where you shared
about lieing and not being honest. What are
you having to lie about if you don't mind me
asking?

desypete

i only got honest with me when i did step 4 and 5 i never ever wanted to confess all my sins to anyone but when i did it was my first ever time i had been totaly honest about me
i had no more masks to hide behind i was a bad egg when drunk and little bit less of a bad egg when sober

today thanks to the steps without a god of the bible, but a higher power that i choose to call aa
i am happy and free from my bondage of drinking and also more importantly that bondage of hating myself

i never did anyone any real good unless there was something in it for me

the steps for me without a god are just a set of instructions for how i should try to live my life

if i live this new way of life i find total freedom if i hang on to my old way and only do a little bit of changing then i dont find the peace

for example if i watch the news ad there is something going on i dont like, i open my gob to voice my opinion and i find that i can get all angry with emotion and if anyone is around me then i will tell them what i think about that news story for hours on end

its not much of a happy life being that way lol
so the trick is dont watch the news then i dont react to it and instead go and do something more positive like helping someone

of course its a battle each day as i am built to always find a way to let me out of the bag and be unkind
so i have to find out what gets me going and what i can accept without reaction

the longer i practise the better i get at it

thats all the steps are for me just a new way of living is all but i do need my sponsors help big time when i use him as it saves me a lot of pain in the long run if i listen lol

Gottalife

The words "don't drink" do not appear in the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. The AA program offers a great deal more that "don't drink". Perhaps more investigation is called for.

hypochondriac

There are other meetings out there Bob, they just aren't as common, but then that is understandable as they don't have the history that AA does. Try SMART recovery meetings or Lifering. If you don't find anything start your own meeting. I have found as my sobriety progressed though that I didn't necessarily need a recovery specific group. Have you got any hobbies you could join a group for...? x

hokey

There is one member of my AA group that openly admits that he never worked the steps. But he attends meetings almost every night for the fellowship in those rooms. I don't even know how many decades of sobriety he has (not even sure HE knows) but it's a long time. He is a rarity, but he's there. And I respect every word that he speaks on the various topics because it works for him. I personally am just starting to work my steps with my sponsor because that is what I feel I must do. Take what you need and leave the rest. The is no one answer (IMO). If the meetings are enjoyable and helpful in any way, then keep going. No need to lie about it.

BobR

I find that any AA meeting always leads back to working the Steps. When I share or when others share it ultimately will lead to someone sharing how they found the answer on page whatever of the Big Book and by working one Step or the Other you can work your way out of the problem and work your way to sobriety. Somebody I really respect who lives the a2 Stepp AA way in his life has even commented how he did not understand how anybody could be a part of AA and not work the steps.

desypete

we get better in aa despite ourselves things rub off in meetings etc i know one man who has gone to aa for over 30 years he can quote the steps but doesnt really live them

his personal life over the years in aa is one of cheating on his wife numerous times, he hates his wife and she hates him but not one of them will move out from each other
i really dont know how anyone could live that life and then have the cheek to lecture people on god like he has done in the past

certainly things of rubbed off on him like not picking up the first drink and keep coming back but his own personal life is one of pain and unhappiness as he is never happy unless he is in love with someone etc he never thinks of the pain it would cause if he was found out, he uses the quote in the big book
we are not saints as his get out of jail free card so he can carry on with this behavior

i dont want this persons sobriety one bit thanks very much lol

sugarbear1

I know many people who show up just for the person to person contact. No problem here!

BobR

I am not going to let AA get in the way of my sobriety. I just saw this group and came in here to blow a little steam. I heard a guy talking in Rehab about this and he pointed out that he didn't think AA was broken, the people that arrive there are broken and I actually agree with that.

I do think that the current AA system needs to understand that a group of people such as myself are out there and we need someway to interact and stay sober and if helping the alcoholic is really the function of AA then helping us is the function of AA or NA

I also believe in God, and dealing with the concept of God is not a hindrance to me and my sobriety.

BobR

I have an addiction counselor and she is very competent and she keeps pointing out to me that I am working the STEPS and don't even realize it. LOL! She has even encouraged me to "Sponsor" people because I have a very appealing type of sobriety(whatever the heck that means) My fear is hurting somebody else's sobriety because I am not a "Step Guy" Very confusing mess to me. It has even been pointed out to me that I should consider reading the Step 2 and 4 Prayer. I thanked the person and told them that I had read the Ying and Yang of Recovery and the Golden Books and found useful the theme of Practice Being Satisfied.

KAD

And that is the only reason I am experimenting with it for once. Isolation has been one of the biggest catalysts for drinking for me.

Dee74

You might have missed the sign as you came in Bob

Briefly explaining your problems with AA in order to find another group or way of recovery is fine.
To gripe on about AA is another thing...and is not really going to get you or anyone else sober.


D

hokey

Everyone needs to find their own path to recovery. It could involve many methods and programs. Mine sure does ... SR and AA and lots of reading and lots of learning from many different sources.

BobR

I have been sober this time over 2 years

I am not here to gripe about AA, just saying that I know a whole bunch of people like me are out there. I know I am not the kind of guy to try and re create the wheel because of my vast knowledge on the subject, nor am I about to try and re create AA.

I guess the reality when dealing with folks in the Recovery Business is still "Fake it till you make it"

MIRecovery

I found when I opened my mind to all recovery methods my sobriety was strengthened. I looked at results. If people were using xyz and it was working there had to be something to it.

In general when I stopped fighting everything and everyone my life became so much easier and I was farther away from a drink.

Today I look for what is right not what is wrong

suki44883

AA works for many people, but it wasn't my cup of tea, either. Not dissing it at all, but there are other programs out there that have also helped many people. Although we may share the same affliction, we are still individuals. Try different programs and see which one works for you. You can do this!

Nuudawn

AA is the biggest truck on the block. They pioneered the path and really brought home the need for fellowship, compassionate ears...folks you can identify with... a community if you will. For that they have my undying respect....

There are other paths to sobriety. But man...they are the easiest, best organized place to find face to face support. If you are getting something from attending, then I would hate to see you stop. I think Bill W. would roll over in his grave if someone who needed something there on offer didn't attend if it was useful.

I am not a member of AA...but I have often toyed with going...just to listen...just to be around other folks trying to stay sober. But I think I shy away because I know I will get the feeling that "I am doing it wrong" by some members.

But hey...big part of sobriety is learning boundaries.

And doesn't the Big Book say..."take what you need and leave the rest?".

sugarbear1

Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring SOS
Women for Sobriety

all have their own websites.

attend meetings for the people only

Whatever works, do it and do it well!!

Stay stopped!