weirdesttoner

For every day of sobriety i sticked a label with a princess on my door.

I didn't know how many I have, i just decided that i will be sober as long as I have labels. I thought that will be enough, and i'll decide later what to do next.

I counted them later, and saw that there are 91 labels.
Today is my day 87, and i have 4 labels left. Today i peeled them down from my door and i let just one for today.

Then i sat down and thought about it. I looked at my door, i didn't even get to fill half of it. In the past, i thought that being sober a month is something huge and i'll be cured forever. Maybe i secretly hoped that i will drink again.

Now i don't see it that way. I still believe that if I grab a bottle i don't think I'll be able to let it go. I'm still afraid not to relapse. But now i know that i will never drink again.

And I think it's time for me to stop counting days.

Dee74

Congrats on nearing 90 days

at least I know what the princesses mean now - you threw me for a loop on one of your past threads

D

weirdesttoner

Thank you Dee, if I really started that time, I would have 10 months now...
Well, better later than never.

I still don't know why i'm afraid of a relapse, lately i had a stressful time and really bad things happened (no connection with drinking or recovery), but i didn't even considered drinking an option and took better decisions that i thought i was capable of.
Things are settling down on a good path now, and that's why i consider this a landmark and not the 90th day.

Sorry i confused you Dee, problably at that time my mind wasn't very clear.

Dee74

no worries.

There's no real reason to be scared of relapsing.

If you want to stay sober, and you're prepared to do whatever it takes to stay that way, you'll stay sober

D

ultradad

Congrats on 87 days!

MIRecovery

Time to buy some more labels. They are a lot cheaper than drinking

PurpleKnight

Great job on 90 Days!!

Nuudawn

I really like your post. You're a good writer.
I'm not much of a day counter myself...but I guess I always have some rough idea of where I'm at.
For me, when I put down the bottle it is with the intent to live a sober life...so I don't see the point in marking off days like I'm in a prison cell. It just doesn't sit right with me (and that's only me).

Nevertheless ..congrats on what looks like damn near 3 months to me.

biminiblue

Yeah, I'm still counting. 108 to be exact. I don't know how long I'll be counting, but I have a large wall calendar in my kitchen and every morning while my coffee is brewing I put a little heart on it with a red pen, and then the number, and then I say a prayer.

I guess I'll probably keep it up until the end of the year. I like seeing the big changes in my thinking and my life and being able to correlate it to how long it took.