Recognizing Triggers and Speed of Recovery
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
Recognizing Triggers and Speed of Recovery
2 1/2 years sober, and by any indication, my sobriety has been my salvation. That said, every day I'm becoming more and more cognizant of my triggers, and have realized that a) boy do I have some mental crazy (big revelation there), b) that crazy can be brought under control to some extent by focusing on my sobriety (a circular reference I know), but most importantly C) I have to accept that perfection is a privilege reserved for God, and I am going to slip, and go crazy, and get pissed off at things that shouldn't - that makes me human. What I really have started to focus on, is how quickly I realize I'm tripping and how quickly I recover. I have come to understand that measuring my sobriety is not done in how long can I go without flipping out, it is more like, how quickly will I realize the next time I flip out that I have in fact flipped out, and how quickly can I recover from it.
I'm proud to report that on most occasions, what would have gotten me down for days, I can now get under control in minutes and hours - most to do with my faith, some to do with appreciating how far I've come, and all to do with recognizing that I can't change the world, and the world really doesn't have the time to be against me.
What started this post - my family has been away for three weeks for a Safari in Africa with the in-laws. My wife and my kids are my center, my confidence, my purpose. While I would have wanted to be there with them, somebody has to put food on the table, and truth be told, I'm not sure I could have taken that much of my in-laws. I figured - if it will make my family happy, then by all means, let them go. The more honest side of me however has to admit that I missed them terribly, and was counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds for their return. (I know, some crisis I'm having...). I guess where I started to trip a bit, was every call I managed to get through to my wife, she emphasized how amazing her trip was going - by far the very best vacation she had ever been on. We've been together for 21 years, so although I should be happy for her, the truth is, I guess I was a little jealous. The other part that tripped me up was the fact that upon her return from Africa, instead of coming straight home to our state, she is spending two additional unnecessary days with her parents. I would have thought that after 3 weeks, she would be in a hurry to just get back home - guess I was wrong. Again, what's the harm? She's with her family, they live far apart, my kids are having a good time, why am I complaining. Not sure i'm recovering from this one in hours, but at least I can see the fact that my emotions are not reconciling with the reality of the fact, this is no big deal. Boy though - does the heart ache a bit.....
I'm proud to report that on most occasions, what would have gotten me down for days, I can now get under control in minutes and hours - most to do with my faith, some to do with appreciating how far I've come, and all to do with recognizing that I can't change the world, and the world really doesn't have the time to be against me.
What started this post - my family has been away for three weeks for a Safari in Africa with the in-laws. My wife and my kids are my center, my confidence, my purpose. While I would have wanted to be there with them, somebody has to put food on the table, and truth be told, I'm not sure I could have taken that much of my in-laws. I figured - if it will make my family happy, then by all means, let them go. The more honest side of me however has to admit that I missed them terribly, and was counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds for their return. (I know, some crisis I'm having...). I guess where I started to trip a bit, was every call I managed to get through to my wife, she emphasized how amazing her trip was going - by far the very best vacation she had ever been on. We've been together for 21 years, so although I should be happy for her, the truth is, I guess I was a little jealous. The other part that tripped me up was the fact that upon her return from Africa, instead of coming straight home to our state, she is spending two additional unnecessary days with her parents. I would have thought that after 3 weeks, she would be in a hurry to just get back home - guess I was wrong. Again, what's the harm? She's with her family, they live far apart, my kids are having a good time, why am I complaining. Not sure i'm recovering from this one in hours, but at least I can see the fact that my emotions are not reconciling with the reality of the fact, this is no big deal. Boy though - does the heart ache a bit.....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Congrats on your milestone DrunkTx.
I hope the remaining time will fly and your wife and family will be back soon.
Make the most of this time tho - instead of seeing it as a loss maybe you can try to see it as a gift of time that you can devote to yourself?
Getting to know myself and learning to be comfortable in my own company was one of the best things I ever got from recovery
D
I hope the remaining time will fly and your wife and family will be back soon.
Make the most of this time tho - instead of seeing it as a loss maybe you can try to see it as a gift of time that you can devote to yourself?
Getting to know myself and learning to be comfortable in my own company was one of the best things I ever got from recovery
D
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