Hi again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 122
Hi again
Hi! I've been lurking, logging in on my phone is a nightmare.
I would like some advice.
ExABF has been recently more than usually loony. I am filing for custody. Not sure how that will go, I am a single mom making very little money, but too much to qualify for legal aid, but I am going to try. I have teachers/friends who will testify if necessary.
2x in past month he has freaked out at me over the phone (in front of my friends/peers) cursing at me because he was drunk and I wouldn't consent to him giving our daughter and I a ride. The last time (Tuesday) I exploded and was just like eff you, no I'm not taking drunk rides with you and I'm not putting our daughter in the car with you when you're drunk. He hung up on me and I haven't heard from him since. Thus, our 5yo has not heard from him since.
She does not understand. I have contacted a child/family therapist with addiction experience and have appointment next week. I want to go to alanon but I don't have child care and don't want to take her to meetings, checked on meetings with childcare, they are all very far away. It just doesn't seem like it will be a possibility.
Do you have any resources for dealing with this with children? I tell her that daddy makes his own decisions. That it's never safe to drink beer or wine or whiskey and then drive. To never ride with anyone that has been drinking those things. That it's my job to make sure she's safe. That her dad loves her.
But he has bailed on his plans with her because he's drunk and angry at me. Or worse, come over buzzed and been vile in front of her, talking about how all of x group of people are terrible. That you should just beat women?
Have you thoughts or advice? She was crying one night, like, what if daddy falls asleep in the car? It hurts my heart to see her so sad. She's too little to have such big worries. He tells her all this crap, pipe dreams, and she believes him. He keeps talking about taking her to another state to visit friends and she is all excited about it and I am terrified. TERRIFIED.
Thank you for any advice and for all the advice and personal stories you have shared. This site has gotten me through so many tough nights.
Thank you.
I would like some advice.
ExABF has been recently more than usually loony. I am filing for custody. Not sure how that will go, I am a single mom making very little money, but too much to qualify for legal aid, but I am going to try. I have teachers/friends who will testify if necessary.
2x in past month he has freaked out at me over the phone (in front of my friends/peers) cursing at me because he was drunk and I wouldn't consent to him giving our daughter and I a ride. The last time (Tuesday) I exploded and was just like eff you, no I'm not taking drunk rides with you and I'm not putting our daughter in the car with you when you're drunk. He hung up on me and I haven't heard from him since. Thus, our 5yo has not heard from him since.
She does not understand. I have contacted a child/family therapist with addiction experience and have appointment next week. I want to go to alanon but I don't have child care and don't want to take her to meetings, checked on meetings with childcare, they are all very far away. It just doesn't seem like it will be a possibility.
Do you have any resources for dealing with this with children? I tell her that daddy makes his own decisions. That it's never safe to drink beer or wine or whiskey and then drive. To never ride with anyone that has been drinking those things. That it's my job to make sure she's safe. That her dad loves her.
But he has bailed on his plans with her because he's drunk and angry at me. Or worse, come over buzzed and been vile in front of her, talking about how all of x group of people are terrible. That you should just beat women?
Have you thoughts or advice? She was crying one night, like, what if daddy falls asleep in the car? It hurts my heart to see her so sad. She's too little to have such big worries. He tells her all this crap, pipe dreams, and she believes him. He keeps talking about taking her to another state to visit friends and she is all excited about it and I am terrified. TERRIFIED.
Thank you for any advice and for all the advice and personal stories you have shared. This site has gotten me through so many tough nights.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
It sounds like you may be able to get some help from a domestic violence center. Just his threats and abusive words surely are enough.
They may be able to help you with free legal counsel, and in so many other ways such as whether to get child protective services involved when he wants to drive her while intoxicated. Give them a call.
They may be able to help you with free legal counsel, and in so many other ways such as whether to get child protective services involved when he wants to drive her while intoxicated. Give them a call.
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