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I'm afraid of change

Old 06-16-2014, 12:46 PM
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I'm afraid of change

I've been a huge drinker for years now and It's like a part of me, it comforts me when I'm sad or distressed over something It keeps me company when I'm alone, it defines me as an individual.
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Old 06-16-2014, 12:57 PM
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Welcome to the Forum sjpatrik!!

Drinking was a part of my life too, every evening after work I'd drink until bedtime, I did that for years, it was there for all occasions and seasons, funerals, weddings, stressful times, happy times, spring, summer, autumn, but that wasn't enough for me to keep it in my life, because it wasn't all positive, there were negatives also.

Change I agree is scary, the unknown can be stressful, but the reality was I still needed to change something about my drinking, non drinkers can find comfort in other things, as well as deal with loneliness, drinking is what we did to fill those gaps, but there are other ways, there must be, otherwise how do other people manage life.

You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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Old 06-16-2014, 12:58 PM
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When I stopped drinking I found the real me and I sorta like her.

Drinking to me was a mask. I hid and pretended behind the mask. It was very scary to remove the mask. I drank for 26 years. I was not even sure who I was and to be honest I am still finding out and I am still growing and changing.

Change is growth. I almost feel like a grown up but not quite...lol

You never now unless you try. It is not easy and it takes work but I can tell you that for me, everyday sober is a day worth living.
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Old 06-16-2014, 12:59 PM
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What will the new definition of you be?
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:00 PM
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I can totally relate to that, my booze was like my very best friend. I never thought I would be able to give it up and I did. And yup it is scary to lose the very thing that helps you cope. It is a big change.

Welcome to SR, you will find lots of support and help here.
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:01 PM
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Welcome Sj.

People do change, all the time. If you're posting here, I'm guessing alcohol has been causing you problems--and probably serious problems--and you'd like alcohol to be out of your life. I suggest taking some time and try to at least consider the possibility of growing into a happy, sober person. Sure it takes a lot of work, effort and time, but the journey itself can be rewarding.
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
What will the new definition of you be?
That's a really good question and honestly I don't know, I feel kinda lost. There must be something worth living for without the drinking I guess.
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:11 PM
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Do you want to stop drinking and live a sober life?

I hope so.
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:52 PM
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Yep.
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Old 06-16-2014, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by sjpatrik View Post
I've been a huge drinker for years now and It's like a part of me, it comforts me when I'm sad or distressed over something It keeps me company when I'm alone, it defines me as an individual.
This sounds like AV. I don't think you would be here if you really had such fond thoughts for alcohol and it was who "you really were." Your presence here indicates to me that the real you would prefer to be far far away from alcohol. I agree quitting causes some serious cognitive dissonance, but for me it seems the only chance I have to be happy. It's a hard road ahead, but worth a shot in my opinion....
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Old 06-16-2014, 10:06 PM
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You say you are afraid of change.
You nailed it. I know that for me...for most of my life alcohol was "the solution" not "the problem".
I drank to deal with what I could not deal with. And as more time passed..the less I could deal with. Suddenly I couldn't deal with the end of the workday without alcohol. I couldn't do housework or cook a meal without wine. I couldn't socialize without it. I couldn't watch tv without it. I could barely eat without it.
More and more...alcohol was my "solution" for everything...maybe even breathing..

THAT's when it gets real scary.
Life is out there...but of course you cannot imagine it. It's a great big giant adventure. Of course you're scared.
But people are doing it...and pssssst....liking it.

It's time to actually start solving problems..
Not running from then....not avoiding them.
Dealing with them.
But first things first...
If you want to stop drinking...

You have to identify it as a problem...not a solution.
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Old 06-16-2014, 10:09 PM
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I had a miserable life as a drinker - the onmly time I went out was to get more booze. But it was familiar.

I felt as if I was still in charge even tho I was really out of control. Eventually I got so out of control I nearly died.

I had to change....and I found the fear of that change, was way way greater than the reality.

Reality's been good to me

It'll be ok sjpatrik - and you're not alone here

Welcome!

D
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Old 06-16-2014, 10:14 PM
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I feel your pain ! I know it gets better though, but like alot of people relapse can occur and starts all over again one vicious cycle Alcohol.
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