He still doesn't understand
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Join Date: May 2014
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He still doesn't understand
So when my soon to be ex-husband dropped the girls off today he asked to talk to me. I went outside and he said he still doesn't understand. He is a good guy and stood by me. And then he said that I am being judgemental because I drink too. I guess this makes me feel a little guilty because while this is true, it doesn't affect my relationships. Besides the alcohol we had a whole host of issues but according to him all of our issues were normal and I will regret my decision.
I am not sure why I am struggling with this today because honestly, with him not being here, I don't really miss the negative tension that surrounds him.
Just feeling a little sad that no matter what I say or do, he doesn't ever seem to understand that this relationship was not working for me anymore.
I am not sure why I am struggling with this today because honestly, with him not being here, I don't really miss the negative tension that surrounds him.
Just feeling a little sad that no matter what I say or do, he doesn't ever seem to understand that this relationship was not working for me anymore.
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Join Date: May 2014
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I try not to even engage with him. When he sends me text messages, I just ignore unless it has to do with the girls. I made him angry because Friday night I told him to leave me alone (via text), he responded with FU. I then told him that our marriage settlement agreement states that neither of us will harass or annoy the other and he is in violation of the agreement and I will contact my attorney.
This is why he wanted to talk to me because he said that he doesn't know how he is supposed to accept this when I am moving on so easily. I think it just hurts because I had to look him in the eye and see his hurt and tears.
This is why he wanted to talk to me because he said that he doesn't know how he is supposed to accept this when I am moving on so easily. I think it just hurts because I had to look him in the eye and see his hurt and tears.
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when I am moving on so easily
except...moving on was not EASY for you. you didn't cook up the separation plan in 3 minutes and execute it in 10 minutes. you went thru a lot before you came to that decision.
he brought this HURT upon himself. his tears are crocodile tears.....how could she? he has yet to get introspective and ask, what COULD I do different to change this outcome? he still wants YOU to change. and when you don't play, you get the FU. nice eh? I mean, how loving is that??
he refuses to respect your boundaries.
except...moving on was not EASY for you. you didn't cook up the separation plan in 3 minutes and execute it in 10 minutes. you went thru a lot before you came to that decision.
he brought this HURT upon himself. his tears are crocodile tears.....how could she? he has yet to get introspective and ask, what COULD I do different to change this outcome? he still wants YOU to change. and when you don't play, you get the FU. nice eh? I mean, how loving is that??
he refuses to respect your boundaries.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 93
Anvilhead II
You hit the nail on the head! You are exactly right and I needed to hear that. Thank you.
He keeps saying, think about what you are doing...as if I haven't thought about it. It's not like I woke up one day and thought, oh gee, I think I will ask my husband for a divorce. This has been a long time coming.
Back on track now! Thanks.
You hit the nail on the head! You are exactly right and I needed to hear that. Thank you.
He keeps saying, think about what you are doing...as if I haven't thought about it. It's not like I woke up one day and thought, oh gee, I think I will ask my husband for a divorce. This has been a long time coming.
Back on track now! Thanks.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
when I am moving on so easily
except...moving on was not EASY for you. you didn't cook up the separation plan in 3 minutes and execute it in 10 minutes. you went thru a lot before you came to that decision.
he brought this HURT upon himself. his tears are crocodile tears.....how could she? he has yet to get introspective and ask, what COULD I do different to change this outcome? he still wants YOU to change. and when you don't play, you get the FU. nice eh? I mean, how loving is that??
he refuses to respect your boundaries.
except...moving on was not EASY for you. you didn't cook up the separation plan in 3 minutes and execute it in 10 minutes. you went thru a lot before you came to that decision.
he brought this HURT upon himself. his tears are crocodile tears.....how could she? he has yet to get introspective and ask, what COULD I do different to change this outcome? he still wants YOU to change. and when you don't play, you get the FU. nice eh? I mean, how loving is that??
he refuses to respect your boundaries.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
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If I could like Anvil's post ten times, I would.
It's hard to accept that he might never see things from your perspective. That you have to learn to be OK with your decision because you know it's the best one for you and the kids. That he's blind to his own faults and will probably continue blaming you.
But that's what you need to do. Forget that he doesn't approve. You approve. That's the important part. He gets to own his own hurt.
It's hard to accept that he might never see things from your perspective. That you have to learn to be OK with your decision because you know it's the best one for you and the kids. That he's blind to his own faults and will probably continue blaming you.
But that's what you need to do. Forget that he doesn't approve. You approve. That's the important part. He gets to own his own hurt.
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