Newimage

Hi, all. I have a lot to catch up on here. But first, I'd like to ask what you think about this.

My daughter has been estranged from her father, my ex-husband, for approximately 3 years, since she first went to jail on charges of credit card theft and check forgery for which he was the 'victim'. He didn't press charges himself, but reported the crimes to police and credit card company which resulted in her arrest.

Since the day she was arrested almost three years ago, he has not spoken to her or contacted her, or even asked how she's doing, until he sent a card last week on her 25th birthday. She has been in jail, a residential court-ordered program, private rehab, sober living, and living at home during that three years.

He lives in the same town, and sent a card through the mail. The card was cartoonish. The front of the card was "Don't open this card!! Whatever you do, don't open it!!" etc. Then, when you opened the card, the sentiment inside was "You're still doing things I tell you not to do! Happy Birthday!" and signed Love, Dad

I won't tell you what I think....but please tell me your thoughts?

Txhelp

It sounds like he wants to connect. A card is a safe way.

Some people, including parents, HAVE to disconnect from the drama. Others, stick around for the longer ride.

My kids dad has disconnected a great deal. It's hard to cope for some and of course very painful.

chicory

Gee, I am probably gonna fail this one.... but perhaps he is trying to reach out and reconnect, and trying soften the discomfort with a bit of humor?

How did your daughter feel about it?

Newimage

that's why I wanted your opinions.......I saw it first and thought it was in really bad taste (after no contact for three years, the first thing he says is that she's still doing things she's not supposed to do?) and she was very offended. My younger daughter who's usually the voice of reason here, thought it was passive-aggressive and that he'd gone too far. He could've just got a card that said Happy Birthday in a nice way. Are we jumping the gun here?

chicory

Well, You know his personality, and we don't. If he was a nice guy basically, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. But, yes, he could have gotten a nice card, with a sweet message.
I guess you have to go by what kind of guy he basically is.

Did she ever say she was sorry for what she did?

You know, some people are just dumb... maybe he did not know what kind of card was appropriate. My ex would do something just like that.

If she wants a relationship with him, maybe she should try to see it in a positive light.

hopeful4

I agree with Chicory. Its a start....