letitgo

Today, is Fathers day and I think I am going to come out as an alcoholic to my family. My av says no because what if you want to drink around them. I think some family members could see the signs of my addiction and others not so much. I want to be honest to them for once and yes it will make me feel better.

I think it would be a positive though announcing I recognize a problem and have been in recovery for 75 days. Any thoughts as to what else I should say? or just keep it short and simple?

Nonsensical

I have discovered that doing the opposite of what my AV wants produces some very good results for ME.

Maybe add something about what they could (or don't need to do) to help. People that love you want to help, so arming them with useful information would be comforting to them. Even if it's you don't need to hide the beer when I come over.

Congrats on 75 days.

Thepatman

I think it's a wonderful idea. It will bring you additional support and accountability towards the ones you love. I doubt some didn't knew you had an issue, they probably kept it inside to avoid hurting you.

Way to go, you rock!!

PurpleKnight

Great job on 75 Days!! . . . yeah it can't do any harm, with close family members I found they already knew there was a problem before I said anything, so it'll probably be a relief to them and you that it's out in the open!!

Fandy

If this is a family celebration for others, like parents or grandparents, I think that you are being selfish by bringing this information to light at this time.

Just don't drink, actions speak louder than words. Maybe another time, but don't take any happiness away from others.

LBrain

congratulations on 75 days letitgo

Depending on the family dynamic and their outlook - it just depends. Are you talking about, "Gather round I have something to tell you?" or just an informal matter of fact kind of thing?

I would first discuss this with my wife in private to get her response and input before I just blurt it out to the children. If you discuss it with your partner first and build a bond over it, you both can be together to discuss it with the children. Her being by your side showing support will make a big impact on the children's reaction - and may dampen the shock or quell any type of revulsion.

Doing it in a 'group' setting you will get instant feedback that may be detrimental to the tribe - they will feed off each others' emotions. If one shows disgust or loathing it may fuel another to feel the same (domino effect). Sometimes group think can be influenced by one strong response.

I suggest you and your wife work out her feelings first, then present it to the rest. Her support and knowledge will make a huge impact on the children.

I am just some guy with thoughts on this and am not a trained family counselor or anything. Just my opinion. Good luck and
Happy Fathers Day!

letitgo

Just addressed the fact I stopped drinking. Seems to be enough. I changed my feelings on an all out confession as it will just be ackward and selfish. Plus there is no point in brining up past actions. Sober feelings, lack of sleep with the new baby makes my thoughts go all over the place. But Ifeel good and happy to be sober. Thanks for the advice. I think a come to Jesus moment with the family isn't the greatest idea after all. Nor will it be beneficial.