Lola23

Well here I am. Things are going ok so far. Woke up this morning to a glorious sunny day, and went to the farmer's market down the street with an iced coffee. Beautiful.

Had really strange dreams last night. One was that I got so drunk around my family and completely humiliated myself. When I woke up from that one, it took a few minutes to realize it was just a dream. Am still having the sweats, but it seems to have improved each night.

Today I have planned a facial as a special weekend treat (since I AM saving money by not going out...right??).

Last night I met a friend out after work for what would usually be "drinks and some nibbles". I do truly believe I'm too early in this journey to be "testing" myself like that and wanted to cancel, but it was also a nice day and I wanted to enjoy some nice weather. And because I live by myself, unless I met a friend out for dinner, 99% of my meals are alone on my couch.

So we met up, did a little shopping and then went to a casual place for some food. I told her ahead of time that I wasn't drinking and after the initial "you're not pregnant are you??" it was totally fine, no more questions, and we had a nice meal.

It actually wasn't tough but the great thing about this forum is that now I know that I cannot be complacent and what might have not been tough last night (b/c this whole not drinking thing is still new) MIGHT be tough down the road. I have a birthday in a week and am contemplating whether I want to do dinner with friends (where people will likely drink) or not.

Thoughts? I am on the fence about it. On one hand, will it be too much of a temptation to be out at dinner? And on the other hand, will I spend my 35th birthday alone at home?

Hope everyone has a great Saturday!

PurpleKnight

Great job on Day 4!! . . . that sounds like an awesome friend, no questions, just accepted your decision.

I guess the birthday idea depends on if there will be any pressure to drink, if it's just dinner or even coffee, it's different than going out to a bar, though all depends on how much temptation there will be!!

HeadLump

Well done on 4 days, Lola. You're going great!

Could you invite friends over to yours? That way, even if they bring drinks, you could make sure that you've got lots of alternatives and food you like

Lola23

It would be dinner with wine and drinks involved. I could easily say I'm not drinking and I might get questions but not necessarily pressure. I think the pressure part comes in when people are like 'it's just one night, it's your birthday!' No one would purposely try to pressure, it's just that my friends really have no idea how bad my drinking has become. They see the same person they think they themselves are...having a few drinks to let our hair down.

Inviting people to my place is not an option as I basically live in a studio. City dweller.

autumn2

Congratulations on day four !

airwick

1-2-3-4.....AND SO ON AND SO ON! keep it up

Cecil

Congrats on day 4! I had 6 days on my birthday last Sunday, and had a wonderful sober stay at home bday with my boyfriend. I loved it. Hope you have a beautiful bday, fellow Gemini!

Dee74

Hey Lola

I've had seven sober birthdays now...soon to be eight. They've been the best bdays ever

You must have some really good friends in your life who will support you and help you celebrate your bday without drinking?

D

Nuudawn

Lovely post. Iced coffee and a farmer's market in the morning sounds like something industrious, creative, cool and sassy sober folk do.
I really don't think you should spent your 35th birthday alone.
What about a birthday brunch? No real pressure for drinking ...well..unless I was still drinking and you invited me (joshin...was more of a nighttime drinker myself).

Lola23

To be honest, brunches bring no less pressure for drinking. Where I live, boozy brunches are quite the norm.

Lola23

Thanks everyone for the responses. I do have friends that would be happy to celebrate with me...and I think I'm just going to suggest dinner. I honestly do not feel comfortable asking that NOONE drinks b/c I just feel like that will bring more attention to the situation. I am just going to say I'm not drinking b/c I'm doing this thing. And leave it at that. Anways, its still a week away, so trying to not think about it too much!

leviathan

i "came out". -just basically told everyone i wasnt doing it anymore. a bit embarrassing, yes. a commitment, yes. i think they all knew my deal anyway...

it took the heat off. any pressure i may get will not come from my close circle. any one else can take a leap. LOL!

Nuudawn

I had to go to a staff party in my first week of sobriety in my last go.
I said I was on antibiotics.
Even then I got a "well one ain't gonna hurt".
I found that a little wierd.
I'm taking med's man (which was indeed a lie but still).
Just one?
Didn't see much point in just one anyway...which I believe I was truthful enough to say that. To that I got a shrug and "ya, guess you're right".

Lola23

Oh, I've definitely gone back and forth about coming completely clean. So far, I was out with a friend a few nights ago for dinner and basically just said "been drinking too much recently, just gotta cut back" and it was no more than that. Which obviously was not the truth.

The truth would have been:
"Well, Suzy, if I have a glass with you now, I'm gonna just say f*** it and will likely have 2 more. And then pick up a bottle of wine on the way home and finish that too, alone on my couch. And then I'll likely contemplate going BACK out to a bar nearby for a few more b/c you know what...screw it. And then it will be 3am, I'll be pissed out of my mind alone and wonder how it came to this. So I really would rather not. Thanks though!"

So yea, I didn't say all that, just kept it simple which seemed to go over fine on a random dinner meet-up but I feel like a birthday will require a little more explaining. Or maybe not! I'm just not sure how people will react to be honest. After spending time on this site, I actually find myself wondering if people have caught on to my issues more than they are letting on...

Amazingglazier

Congrats on day 4 Lola! Keep going! Once I made my mind up , I had no problem having cranberry with soda when I visited friends that I had been aquainted with for years in my drunken days. A few of them questioned me as the why of not drinking but that faded quickly and I can still hang with them when I want to , without the inquiries! It is early in your sobriety, but you have to do what keeps you sane, if they don't make an issue of it then Happy Birthday!!!! IMHO! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby