Mimi-88

Hi, I'm new here and I hope you can help me...

My best friend lives on the third floor of my three family house. My husband and I live on the first floor. This has been working out for two years. Lately, my friend's drinking has increased to where she is getting smashed every night. The problem for me is that it encourages my husband to get smashed as well. He is a drinker in his own right and has been for the eight years I've known him. But during the week he used to only have a few, with more heavy drinking on the weekends. So far his drinking has not affected our marriage much, but of course if it gets worse it will. I see my friend slipping into addiction and I'm concerned for her sake mostly, but I also don't want my husband dragged down that slope with her. I know what some of you may be thinking, but they are not fooling around. The three of us hang out at night. Sometimes I drink with them, sometimes I don't. It has no bearing on their drinking. They drink regardless of what I do. I've been thinking of telling my friend that I'm concerned about her drinking. But is that the right thing to do? Her drinking is affecting many aspects of her life but she doesn't see it. This increased binging is intensifying those effects. Should I say anything to her? How does one help an alcoholic?

Magichappens

There is a part of addiciton and alcoholism that is called denial. It defies logic. You think that if you point out to your friend that she is going to have major consequences if she keeps drinking, she will look, see you are correct, and change course. But if she is alcoholic, she may not be thinking logically. What's worse is, she may agree with you, and yet can't quit. Either way, you must do what you think is best. Alcoholism is like a tornado for the alcoholic and those that get caught in it's path. Some lose everything, and some get out with just a few cuts and bruises. The one thing to remember is that the alcoholic has to want help, or they can't be helped. If you pray, pray for your friend. If she wants help, there is a lot out there. Treatment, AA, other recovery programs. Or maybe she can just stop and move on. I hope that she doesn't have to go through too much pain with this. You are a caring friend. Be available, try not to push. It is hard to let people trip and fall, but they must learn, and we can't stand in the way of that. Hugs, Magic

Zoey

Mimi-88
Have you gone to Al-Anon meetings?? Sounds like it would be a good idea with 2 drinkers around you. This is an excellent site, but face to face with people in Al-Anon is good.
We usually have to try 2 or 3 meetings to start getting into it, but it is worth it.
Perhaps you have a friend that would go with you??? BEST wISHES CLANCY46