Another day, another fall, another try
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 1
Another day, another fall, another try
And it happened again. I drank because of my anxiety to go do some paperwork at my college, and of course it never is "just one beer" for me.
It's not been the first time either. I finished a month-long recovery in a clinic in 2013, I remember how full of hope I've been, yet the day after I came home I got my very first cravings and relapsed. Then as usual with me, I did stop for a few weeks, then fell again, tried to control my drinking, which worked very, very well untill 2 weeks ago when I was convinced by my classmates to go out with them
. Untill then things were going so good, that my parents no longer feared leaving alcohol unlocked around me. Of course that too changed.
This party ended in a horrible blackout and me dying 2 days, of course that's when my girlfriend came to visit me and that was yet another strain on our relationship, I suppose she didn't quite realize what I ment when I told her soon after we met that I'm a "recovering" alcoholic.
Now it's getting worse and worse with my sober days decreasing and thoughts of once again buying alcohol on my own coming.
Tried anything, from drugs, baclofen, naltrexone through breathing excersises for my anxiety and unfortunately all it does is that it helps me stay sober for a little longer, I always inevitably fall.
But I hope that this was the very last time and from now on, it's sobriety!
Uh sorry about the 'ol wall of text, I'm a bit of a talkative fella.
It's not been the first time either. I finished a month-long recovery in a clinic in 2013, I remember how full of hope I've been, yet the day after I came home I got my very first cravings and relapsed. Then as usual with me, I did stop for a few weeks, then fell again, tried to control my drinking, which worked very, very well untill 2 weeks ago when I was convinced by my classmates to go out with them
. Untill then things were going so good, that my parents no longer feared leaving alcohol unlocked around me. Of course that too changed.This party ended in a horrible blackout and me dying 2 days, of course that's when my girlfriend came to visit me and that was yet another strain on our relationship, I suppose she didn't quite realize what I ment when I told her soon after we met that I'm a "recovering" alcoholic.
Now it's getting worse and worse with my sober days decreasing and thoughts of once again buying alcohol on my own coming.
Tried anything, from drugs, baclofen, naltrexone through breathing excersises for my anxiety and unfortunately all it does is that it helps me stay sober for a little longer, I always inevitably fall.
But I hope that this was the very last time and from now on, it's sobriety!
Uh sorry about the 'ol wall of text, I'm a bit of a talkative fella.
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