liss74

Not going to say this is fun at all struggled all day. I have done everything I could on my prevention plan . What a long suffering day . I just want to numb this. Going to a meeting tonight, then bed.

Dee74

Don't lose heart Liss.
You've gotten and stayed sober before. You can again

D

AlcoholFree66

I really do feel for you Liss - stick to your plan meeting tonight and then bed - it will get easier.

liss74

Yep I will try not to sometimes I wish I was back in detox

liss74

Feel unsafe wanna cry

MidnightBlue

Liss, I so feel for you. I remember the days when I felt exactly the same.

I was about to climb the walls. I almost did.

But, please, believe - it shall pass.

Let this storm pass over. Your primar goal now is to save yourself.

It's getting better. Stick to us.

Sending you positive vibes and hugs.

Take care of yourself!

Dee74

Try not to think too far ahead Liss...just one day at a time is all any of us can do

D

DisplacedGRITS

Liss, I understand where you're coming from. If I feel myself spiraling down to where a drink seems like a possible way to escape tehe feelings I'm experiencing, my recourse is to talk to another sober alcoholic. I come here, call my sponsor, call another sober alcoholic...anything to get me out of my own head. My sobriety involves me being active in my sober community. No one expects us to soldier through this alone. Keep connected, Liss. The early days are hard because we have not yet built up the sober habits that we will soon turn to before the thought of drinking enters our head. Old habits die hard but they do die. Keep on connecting and know that there are many of us out there who empathize with you. We have been there. You're one of us and like us, you too can change.

liss74

Thanks ,that's nice one of us

venuscat

It's going to be OK hun. Being afraid is OK.
This is hard. But you can do this love.

V xx

liss74

Went to meeting came home had dinner bath then bed sober thanks for helping me xxx

venuscat

You are doing SO much better than you realise sweety ~ your life is go go go, and no matter what, you keep going. An hour or two for yourself is heaven. At some stage love, you need to give yourself credit for all that you are achieving right now. It's a lot.

I'm proud of you.

Sleep well,

V xx ♥

Joe Nerv

My first few months sober my sponsor used to say something to me, regularly, that made me want to kill him. I remember one day in particular, someone had spray painted a curse directed at me clear across the side of a van I owned at the time. I called him, freaking out on the phone, and in a calm voice he asked, "Joe. Did you have a drink today?" I answered, "No," and then he paused and said...






"Then you had a great day."

Can't tell you how that would rile me up at the time, and just a few short years later I was able to appreciate the value of it. Kept me focused. Kept my priorities straight. In early sobriety there was one thing I had to focus on more than anything else, and that was not picking up the first drink. The rest all followed and fell into place.

It ain't easy. Some heal quicker than others. It took me 6 months alcohol free before I felt anything human like and started to settle into AA. A year before I could start getting around and interacting with people other than those I met in AA. 30 years later I've earned a college degree, become a high school teacher, gotten involved in theater and had the lead role in more than one college show, toured other countries as a musician, traveled to parts of the world I always dreamed of going (Hawaii, and Venice top that list), gotten in the best physical shape of my life, gotten married to an awesome woman, and done countless other things I never even considered doing. Never even wanted to do. I entered AA as non functioning, unemployed, anxiety ridden HS dropout, with a resume that had Carvel and messenger on it only.

Point being that none of that stuff happened over night. And it wasn't easy. None of that was even on my radar the first 2 years I was sober. Strange as it might sound, it's OK to feel like absolute crap early in sobriety. Keeping the focus on not drinking, and doing all we can to change the people we are, the people who NEED to drink, is all that matters. The rest will come.

If you didn't have a drink yesterday, or today... then you had a great day. Regardless of anything else.

PS. Throwing myself in the arms of the people of AA, without reservation, and getting involved as best I could with the steps were an essential part of my recovery. Without those 2 things I don't believe I'd have the story above. Don't even want to consider what that story would look like.

Hang in there.

MIRecovery

I would get a temporary sponsor ASAP and phone numbers. Go to 2-3 meetings a day if you can.

You just have to stay sober today. Any day sober is a success

liss74

Thank you so much for this message it has made my night I feel so grateful you took the time to write to me, puts things in perspective and everyone who always help me love you SR.

venuscat

Have to agree with liss....I've been sitting here reading your post Joe over and over. You have no idea how helpful that was. Is. Your perspective and experience gives me so much strength, as it does all of us who will read it I think....

V xx

RainbowDash

the fact is... you wanted to get through it, you admitted it was hard....you used every resource you had and you DID IT.

Congratulate yourself... try making having a nice bath your treat...
If you feel like that again... you'll know you can do it.... your are now stonger

and we are here

EJ43

You did it! That is just flat out awesome!

Hawkeye13

Hi Liss--
I posted this on Cow's thread a week ago and several people said it helped.

Getting Sober Sucks

You can do this

ForMeForThem

Liss - Getting and staying sober is hard, being a busy mom is hard. It's hard to handle all these emotions (while handling your kids emotions too) but you got through it. You can do it - you are doing it! Be proud. Take it one day at a time and just don't give in no matter what.