Pia

sarcasm of course!!

So XAH pops up at the house and begins to ask me

XAH :what we can do to fix our marriage.

Me: What are you willing to do?

XAH: I will slow down on alcohol and drugs and porn. I went to a few AA meetings but I do not want to go that route, but I will slow down

Me: Why do you want to make changes?

XAH : Because I now understand what you mean when you say you are lonely

Me: So your not going to get help for drugs, alcohol or porn but I am suppose to be happy you are willing to slow down?

XAH: You look great.

Wow was I suppose to jump in his arms and say YES YES YES

lillamy

We need an emoticon that is banging its head against a brick wall.

((hugs))

Pia

I already know in my mind and heart it is over. I am never going to get back but I decided to hear him out and see if he had learned anything.

He still isn't close to hitting rock bottom and even when he does I don't plan on being there to pick him up.

I know I did all I could and can walk away with that. I have been working on me and don't feel guilty anymore. It's been a long hard road but I am in a better place now and excited for the future.

I feel sorry for him but I am not engulfed anymore with his problem. He look horrible he is so skinny, he has the body of a scrawny boy but that is his problem. At first I wanted to feed him but then thought nope not my problem he is happy and I have to let him figure it out himself.

Everything I have learned on SR is coming true and I am so grateful I have a better understanding of alcoholism and drugs.

The most loving thing I can do for myself and him is to keep away and let him be accountable for his actions.

He gave me a hug goodbye and I could smell the alcohol on his breathe . .

I slept great last night and it was raining. I woke up in the middle of the bed nice and relaxed. I don't want to trade that for a stinken drunkard.

lillamy

Oh! Hey! We do!!! Awesome!!!

And this is also awesome:

Refiner

This is so awesome, Radiant. GOOD for you!!!

Pia

I understand now that I don't have the right to impose my standards on him and expect him to agree. Just as he doesn't have the right to impose his standards on me.

But, I have the right to take care of me and through this I have forgiven him and move forward.

Does it hurt yes but the stinging is gone and I believe that is because I forgave him.
That doesn't mean being a doormat just because I have forgiven him.

horsegirl

I know I did all I could and can walk away with that. I have been working on me and don't feel guilty anymore. It's been a long hard road but I am in a better place now and excited for the future.

wow .. So great you feel that way !. I am writing your first sentence down and sticking it to my computer , to read over and oer until I beleive it for myself .

dandylion

Radiant.....do you know what is sooo lame in his proposal????????

.......that he probably actually believed that it was such a good offer that you wouldn't be able to resist......!!!

Falls somewhere between pityful and funny...

dandylion

Blossom717

I agree with Dandylion!

Good for you Radiant!!!! Be happy! Don't let him suck you down that spiral again!

HopefulinFLA

You ungrateful girl you! Don't you see how fortunate you are that he's willing to cut back for you? Bwa hahahaha

Seriously though, your head is in the right place, you sound great! I'm inspired. :-)

Pia

horsegirl- believe it you deserve the best!!!!

dandylion- I was watching his eyes and as he was telling me these things he woudn't look me in the face. whatever !!!

Blossom717- Once I started loving myself I learned it's ok to want more from a mate.

HopefulinFLA-Thank you and I couldn't have gotten here without everyones opinions and advice.

Rosiepetal

Good for you Radiant.
Keep on keeping on

HopefulinFLA

Huge clue!!!!

MissFixit

You are so strong! I am impressed with your ability to see what is up.

Hawkeye13

Radiant, have you thought about just leaving the area where you live?

Is that "home" for you or is it where you moved when you married?

I'm curious because I think maybe you might have more job opportunities somewhere else
and maybe it's getting to be time to get this guy out of your life totally and for good.

He's on a downward spiral, and I notice he seems very free coming to your house and getting in your space.

You are doing amazingly well. Poster girl for self-empowerment kick that codie crap to the curb

Pia

I would love to move Hawkeye but I can't and he knows it.

I don't have a steady job so I can't get another loan for a house or apt bc I don't have a steady job.

I have to keep the doors and windows open for now because I can 't really keep the A/C on. I am a sitting target I feel at times.

I love the codie crap to the crub saying it what my goal is lol.