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Making Amends after getting sober? (Conclusion)

Old 06-11-2014, 07:42 PM
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Making Amends after getting sober? (Conclusion)

I came on here a two days ago and posted some ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-sober.html


I was only day 3 in recovery and I came on here asking for advice. I was stubborn at first, but I was receiving a lot of good advice. I wasn't listening. As I entered day 4 of recovery (also 4 days quit smoking) I became a little bit more open to others' ideas. I want to thank you all for your input and for those who want to know how it went. Here it goes.


We decided to meet outside of her place. I'm entering a part of the city that I haven't been in since we broke up. Memories of drunken nights and us being together are flooding back. My heart is racing, every fiber of my being is telling me to turn around and that this was a really bad idea. My legs keep pushing me forward.. My heart is pounding... I have so much adrenaline running through my system I want to take the anti anxiety medication in my pocket. I tell myself no. You are going to feel everything you need to feel, you aren't numbing yourself for this.
I tell myself "All those nights you had to have an adventure, you had to have excitement, you had to go out drinking because you need a crazy life....see how crazy sober life can feel you *******"
I'm in full panic at this point.
I go to her car I get in.
I'm greeted with a warm smile and some jokes.
She's very curious to hear about my drinking problem.
I tell her to wait, lets eat first because I haven't eaten today and I want to get a full stomach before we talk. She agrees.
The next hour feels like we are still dating.
We are laughing and cracking jokes, it feels like a moment hasn't even passed.
We get our food and the conversation is light and playful. I was extremely worried that this would happen and that I would miss her and I'd come home crying myself to sleep as many had suggested.
I realize that I don't miss her. Somehow a higher power is with me and against all odds I am able to enjoy every moment of her company without feeling the longing for us to be together. I guess this proves I really am over her. Or at the very least that a miracle has occurred. Why is everything so natural and happy, but yet I'm not trying to hang onto it for dear life?
We leave the restaurant and begin to talk about my drinking. She is very curious and wants to know everything. I started my story and told her how I got started and how bad I was when she entered my life. She's very shocked by all of this and continues to ask lots of questions. I take my time and I answer them carefully, honestly, but tactfully. She is upset that I went through such a hell and never told her. She admits that part of the reason that she broke up with me is she knew that I wasn't happy, she didn't know why, and she didn't know that it was alcohol but she knew that something was going on and that it wasn't good. I feel extremely relieved to hear this. We talk about my plan for sobriety and the future. I feel happy to have the weight off my shoulders, she feels sad to hear that someone she cared about went through such a terrible time, but happy that things are better. We drive back to my place I tell her thankyou for everything and we hug and she kisses my cheek in a very caring way. I get out of the car give a smile and a she drives off we wave good bye. #Closure #Sobriety #Day 5 #Amazing #No Tears #Just smiles #Higher Power is with me #Recovery2014
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Old 06-11-2014, 07:54 PM
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That is fantastic in every way, Serper!
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Old 06-12-2014, 04:12 AM
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glad to hear it went well Serper, was curious of the outcome.
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Old 06-12-2014, 11:19 AM
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Thanks for your advices
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