obssesed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: india
Posts: 112
obssesed
i am obsessed with a girl when we were talking about marriage certain things happened and i got drunk and abused her and kicked her out of my life last year i tried to talk to her even said sorry many times but she does not respond i sent her a birthday cake too but no response till date
they say in A.A that what ever you lost during your drinking everything will come back with time once you are sober
now that i am in recovery will she come back
has anyone here got such a exp ?
they say in A.A that what ever you lost during your drinking everything will come back with time once you are sober
now that i am in recovery will she come back
has anyone here got such a exp ?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Well, that's not the way it works. You don't get back everything you lost once you are sober; however, being sober allows you the opportunity to make your life better.
Chances are that since you abused her and kicked her out of your life, she probably isn't willing to come back. I don't blame her. Abuse is NEVER okay.
Chances are that since you abused her and kicked her out of your life, she probably isn't willing to come back. I don't blame her. Abuse is NEVER okay.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
I don't think AA literally means that you will get back EVERYTHING. Some things are lost forever. I can never UNdo my 2 DUIS, but I can learn from them and move forward a better person.
If abuse was involved...she probably has distanced herself for a reason. But I agree with Gilmer - talk to your HP and forgive yourself, then let it go.
If abuse was involved...she probably has distanced herself for a reason. But I agree with Gilmer - talk to your HP and forgive yourself, then let it go.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I'd say move on from that relationship, focus on Sobriety and things like relationships in life may happen for you, putting time and effort into someone who isn't responding in anyway clearly shows it's over as far as she is concerned!!
Move on and carve out a new future for yourself!!
Move on and carve out a new future for yourself!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: india
Posts: 112
i am very optimistic i never give up hope i struggled for 1 yr after my relapse but i had a gut feeling i will come out of alcohol one day and i have come out 5 months of recovery is not enough i need to prove my self that i can live without alcohol and gain her faith again and i have faith in god she might come back who knows
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Don't count on it Sameer. God usually likes to surprise us with things we never would have expected.
When she pops into your mind, think of airplanes or something. Don't spend too much time thinking about her. Force those thoughts out of your mind--wishing will not bring her back.
When she pops into your mind, think of airplanes or something. Don't spend too much time thinking about her. Force those thoughts out of your mind--wishing will not bring her back.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
tough to imagine that a woman you abused would be willing to come back.
probably would'nt be healthy for either of you anyway.
you will find that LIFE comes back to you and with that will no doubt be rich and rewarding relationship.
Sounds like you have some territory for amends with her though, if that's something she will be willing to accept from you at some point in your recovery.
probably would'nt be healthy for either of you anyway.
you will find that LIFE comes back to you and with that will no doubt be rich and rewarding relationship.
Sounds like you have some territory for amends with her though, if that's something she will be willing to accept from you at some point in your recovery.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
There are MILLIONS of other ladies out there! I do not believe in there being only one right person out there! Keep your sobriety, keep working on yourself and have faith that you WILL indeed fall in love again. This time however you will learn from past mistakes!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Originally Posted by sameer1974 
i am obsessed with a girl when we were talking about marriage certain things happened and i got drunk and abused her and kicked her out of my life last year i tried to talk to her even said sorry many times but she does not respond i sent her a birthday cake too but no response till date
they say in A.A that what ever you lost during your drinking everything will come back with time once you are sober
now that i am in recovery will she come back
has anyone here got such a exp ?
they say in A.A that what ever you lost during your drinking everything will come back with time once you are sober
now that i am in recovery will she come back
has anyone here got such a exp ?
I would encourage you to ask, WHY do you want her back? Do you think getting back on with her would truly enrich your life? Would it be progressive for you? For her?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: india
Posts: 112
i dont think she was interested in me she was just taking a chance since she had a bad divorce and she had more interest in my property then me the moment i fell to tough times she backed out
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