What to do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Joshua Tree,CA
Posts: 18
What to do?
Hello,
My husband of 8 years , is illusive. I can smell it and see his eyelids purple and swollen. He keeps quiet.
He denies it. Until he gets a DUI.
He doesnt talk about anything but work.
We have no life. No freinds. He comes home and days off he puts on his PJs and reads. 24/7
He ignores me. If I walk in he goes and has a ciggarette.
We are roomates. It doesnt fo any good to talk to him.
I try every day to be happy. If I suspect he is drinking, and I get that sick feeling in my stomach, I remove myself from his company. I am alone. Should I know anything about his life? Is it none of my bussiness.?
I am myself day by day surviving.
My husband of 8 years , is illusive. I can smell it and see his eyelids purple and swollen. He keeps quiet.
He denies it. Until he gets a DUI.
He doesnt talk about anything but work.
We have no life. No freinds. He comes home and days off he puts on his PJs and reads. 24/7
He ignores me. If I walk in he goes and has a ciggarette.
We are roomates. It doesnt fo any good to talk to him.
I try every day to be happy. If I suspect he is drinking, and I get that sick feeling in my stomach, I remove myself from his company. I am alone. Should I know anything about his life? Is it none of my bussiness.?
I am myself day by day surviving.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
wow hon, that doesn't sound like any type of life FOR YOU? doesn't seem like there is much to hang around for.
have you checked out Alanon meetings for you? you deserve some support. and recognition. and attention.
welcome.
have you checked out Alanon meetings for you? you deserve some support. and recognition. and attention.
welcome.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
Susy
sorry to hear about your husban. does sounds like has a alcohol problem. and if he does, well i hate to say it, but i learned that he is the only one who can put an end to it. you can be his biggest supporter and cheer leader or his worst friend, he has to make the decision to stop drinking.
sounds like you became a victim of his drinking. alcoholics lie, that is what we do. sometimes our drinks are the most important thing to us. maybe try to find something you enjoy and bring happiness to you. the chat room is one place that really helped me, lots of good people there to talk to for advice and support. it was for me.
sorry to hear about your husban. does sounds like has a alcohol problem. and if he does, well i hate to say it, but i learned that he is the only one who can put an end to it. you can be his biggest supporter and cheer leader or his worst friend, he has to make the decision to stop drinking.
sounds like you became a victim of his drinking. alcoholics lie, that is what we do. sometimes our drinks are the most important thing to us. maybe try to find something you enjoy and bring happiness to you. the chat room is one place that really helped me, lots of good people there to talk to for advice and support. it was for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Joshua Tree,CA
Posts: 18
Yes ,I have. Each meeting group is different . They wanted me to take over leading the meeting at my 3rd week.
I have too much going on, I am not ready yo do that.
Am I supposed to have a sponsor,and steps as well?
There is another local Alanon, and it is full of locals I dont want to share my personal bussiness with.
I need help and advice. I did just try to talk to him. He left.
He just looks at me and says he worked hard today. Yeah me too. I work 6to 7 days a week.
I have too much going on, I am not ready yo do that.
Am I supposed to have a sponsor,and steps as well?
There is another local Alanon, and it is full of locals I dont want to share my personal bussiness with.
I need help and advice. I did just try to talk to him. He left.
He just looks at me and says he worked hard today. Yeah me too. I work 6to 7 days a week.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Joshua Tree,CA
Posts: 18
I cant control him.I dont want to. I told him we need to honest at least about one thing. We are distant roomates.
If he wants it to be different. He needs to open up.I am done chasing after him. He likes me begging him for his attention.It gives him what he wants ,to be the center of his universe.He is the love of his life. I am a hard worker and a good sport
I just recently have put into action, to try every day to do something for me. Stop asking, accept what is reality.
If he wants it to be different. He needs to open up.I am done chasing after him. He likes me begging him for his attention.It gives him what he wants ,to be the center of his universe.He is the love of his life. I am a hard worker and a good sport
I just recently have put into action, to try every day to do something for me. Stop asking, accept what is reality.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Joshua Tree,CA
Posts: 18
I am angry I admit it. I dont want to be
I am trying ,one way or another, I hope for better.
I have looked into legal separation.
At least then He will only be responsible for his damage.
I am trying ,one way or another, I hope for better.
I have looked into legal separation.
At least then He will only be responsible for his damage.
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