85 days clean and counting...
painless
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
85 days clean and counting...
Today makes 85 awesome days clean and sober... Theres no trick to staying clean other then the WANT, NEED and FULL RESPECT of ones self. Saturday will be my 90th day which was my first goal. TO STAY CLEAN FOR 90 DAYS... My next goal is TO STAY CLEAN FOR ANOTHER 90 DAYS. I know I can do it but dont ever fool yourselves by saying... ILL NEVER USE AGAIN... ONCE YOU SAY THAT TO YOURSELF BEWARE... THE DEVIL LOVES A CHALLENGE AND FOR SOME REASON THE DEVILS REAL GOOD AT CREATING LOST SOULS...I take my days second by second still. Some days hour by hour but I get through them because I surround myself with great people who really care about me. My true strength has been my lil angel who has been with me every step of the way and everyday since Detox. If it weren't for her theres no telling what might have happened at times because when im alone and by myself i tend to not care about what anyone thinks and thats when my self destructive behaviors come out... My addictive personality has been telling me lately that if i wanted to get high no one would know because i can get high today and just not use tomorrow so i dont catch a habit... WELL LEMME TELL U ALL SOMETHING ABOUT THAT... ITS A BOLD FACE LIE... I have made it 90 days before and got my red key tag from NA just like I will saturday night and back then I was stupid enough to listen to that insane voice in my head that told me it was ok to use for a day and then skip a couple days to use again... PEOPLE.... IT NEVER WORKS EVER... Before u know it your back to being sick and back to making call after call to score some skag and then your back to square one and u find yourself asking yourself... WHY DID I DO THIS AGAIN???? Well the voice inside my head letting me know its ok to use Can kiss my rear end!!! I know my body and I know that if i pick up the needle one more time that its my last time and ill go on a run that will kill me inside... I have too many good people that I will let down and id rather die then let them down or even hear from one persons mouth... "I TOLD U HE COULD NEVER STAY CLEAN"... I CANT MAKE ANY PROMISES LONG TERM BUT I CAN PROMISE EVERYONE THIS MUCH.... I PROMISE TO STAY CLEAN TODAY... And tomorrow will be tomorrow... Thanks for reading all this... I DO FEEL GREAT AND NO DRUG COULD REPLACE THIS FEELING... GOD BLESS US ALL.... LOVE PAINLESS
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