Balance of power
pray for strength
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Balance of power
From myself...to the bottle...back to myself.
As I sit here paying bills and contemplating why this very ordinary day feels so good:
It hit me. Self-reliance. Being able to rely on myself has always been a genuine source of happiness - that is, before alcohol became the lead player in my life. Without even being aware, the balance of power had slowly, almost imperceptibly, shifted from myself to the boo-hooze.
What a horrible reality. When I came to SR, I came with so many questions about why I felt baaaad, desperate for answers I just could not find on my own.
Lesson: the only possible way to feel exactly this good at exactly this moment is through having booted the bottle, completely and thoroughly.
Thanks for the amazing support SRers. Early sobriety is a strange landscape...but not without its simple pleasures. Anyone else feel like this about the simple stuff??
As I sit here paying bills and contemplating why this very ordinary day feels so good:
It hit me. Self-reliance. Being able to rely on myself has always been a genuine source of happiness - that is, before alcohol became the lead player in my life. Without even being aware, the balance of power had slowly, almost imperceptibly, shifted from myself to the boo-hooze.
What a horrible reality. When I came to SR, I came with so many questions about why I felt baaaad, desperate for answers I just could not find on my own.
Lesson: the only possible way to feel exactly this good at exactly this moment is through having booted the bottle, completely and thoroughly.
Thanks for the amazing support SRers. Early sobriety is a strange landscape...but not without its simple pleasures. Anyone else feel like this about the simple stuff??
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Yay LTV! You are awesome! It always comes so randomly that we are in the moment and can feel the moment.
Very ordinary days can be very extraordinary days. And yes, I feel like that about simple stuff. Actually sitting and paying bills on time and not freaking out about money. Thinking "so this is what it feels like to be a responsible adult." It is a good feeling about very mundane subjects.
Very ordinary days can be very extraordinary days. And yes, I feel like that about simple stuff. Actually sitting and paying bills on time and not freaking out about money. Thinking "so this is what it feels like to be a responsible adult." It is a good feeling about very mundane subjects.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Absolutely, the simple things jumped out at me in early recovery.
I think we are in denial about how much alcohol destroys us - our self-confidence, peace of mind and enjoyment of life. I'm so glad you're feeling good.
I think we are in denial about how much alcohol destroys us - our self-confidence, peace of mind and enjoyment of life. I'm so glad you're feeling good.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Brooklyn, ny
Posts: 734
I walked into a bar today with my dog to meet my H who was sitting with a neighbor. The neighbor is getting married soon and my H, knowing the bartender, set up a little meeting for her to check out some drinks for a signature cocktail. I plopped the dog on a bar stool and chatted a few minutes with everyone then left. Have to say I was feeling pretty sorry for myself when I left, not being able to drink and all. Feeling apart. So the dog and I walked some and I realized I had a few dollars in my pocket. I stopped and got a small lemon ice in a paper cup. It was so good. Now I am back home, sober and happy. Simple 
pray for strength
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Thanks my friends for all the good words! Every single one means a lot to me - during good times and bad. So happy to be able to share a little 'feels good' present day moment yesterday.
Tiptree, your post gives me a smile After I finished reading I thought to myself that the only thing missing from your story is a lawyer, rabbi or priest. Nah! There is nothing missing...it is great to read that you had a genuinely good moment as well.
After my 'feel good' day I had a rough night. Such it is. Not a bad night! Just another sleepless night of deep thinking. I know deep thought is not a good idea or does not work for everyone but for me right now, it works. True honesty with what pops up in my head is the only way I am really going to be free of this plague. The little lies jump out in unexpected places and moments just as the good moment did yesterday for me. Who would have known?
Last night I inadvertently came across a post I had written on my first day here with SR. After reading, I cried big rolly-polly tears. The last 6weeks since I started this journey have felt unbelievably long! Like how a summer used to feel like a lifetime when you were a kid. Reading about my first day I could recognize that I was so scared of what would come ahead. I was right to be scared! Life with zero alcohol is such an unknown, unprecedented experience. Takes cojones or some equivalent.
Was also a good moment though...because I know life is finally, blessedly changing like it needs to. Keep putting in the good work everyone!
Originally Posted by Tiptree 
I walked into a bar today with my dog to meet my H who was sitting with a neighbor...
After I finished reading I thought to myself that the only thing missing from your story is a lawyer, rabbi or priest. Nah! There is nothing missing...it is great to read that you had a genuinely good moment as well.After my 'feel good' day I had a rough night. Such it is. Not a bad night! Just another sleepless night of deep thinking. I know deep thought is not a good idea or does not work for everyone but for me right now, it works. True honesty with what pops up in my head is the only way I am really going to be free of this plague. The little lies jump out in unexpected places and moments just as the good moment did yesterday for me. Who would have known?
Last night I inadvertently came across a post I had written on my first day here with SR. After reading, I cried big rolly-polly tears. The last 6weeks since I started this journey have felt unbelievably long! Like how a summer used to feel like a lifetime when you were a kid. Reading about my first day I could recognize that I was so scared of what would come ahead. I was right to be scared! Life with zero alcohol is such an unknown, unprecedented experience. Takes cojones or some equivalent.
Was also a good moment though...because I know life is finally, blessedly changing like it needs to. Keep putting in the good work everyone!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I didn't see this yestereday LeTheVerte. 
I want to thank you for adding so many heartfelt & helpful thoughts to the discussions here. I'm so happy you're enjoying your new family.
Simple things were lost to me for many years. I drank every day when I finally came limping in here. I was isolating and living in a fog. I can't believe I allowed myself to wallow in that misery for so long.
I want to thank you for adding so many heartfelt & helpful thoughts to the discussions here. I'm so happy you're enjoying your new family. Simple things were lost to me for many years. I drank every day when I finally came limping in here. I was isolating and living in a fog. I can't believe I allowed myself to wallow in that misery for so long.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
There is a line from a Greatful Dead dead song that has resonated with me through out sobriety.
Lately it occurs to me what a long strange trip it's been
Lately it occurs to me what a long strange trip it's been
La a doo dah man :-)
The line you quoted is certainly appropriate, but another one from the song gives me hope.
Truckin', I'm a goin' home
Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong
Home is where I'm following my plan and doing positive things.
Best wishes for you MIR on your recovery.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Glad you are feeling good, Honey.xx
Funny, I loved paying bills on time too! Still do.
I think that was the biggest thing in early sobriety and actually the fundamental thing....looking after me, making myself feel good about myself,...and ultimately, loving myself enough to protect me from all the bull$$&@ alcohol brought into my life.
Enjoy your journey.....it's sooooo worth it, and so are you!
Funny, I loved paying bills on time too! Still do.
I think that was the biggest thing in early sobriety and actually the fundamental thing....looking after me, making myself feel good about myself,...and ultimately, loving myself enough to protect me from all the bull$$&@ alcohol brought into my life.
Enjoy your journey.....it's sooooo worth it, and so are you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
"Tiptree, your post gives me a smile After I finished reading I thought to myself that the only thing missing from your story is a lawyer, rabbi or priest. Nah! There is nothing missing...it is great to read that you had a genuinely good moment as well."
LTV, thank you for the laugh. That thought had crossed my mind too. Reminded me of a clean joke my cousin told when he was five. A piece of string walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at him and said "We don't serve your kind in here." So the piece of string went outside, tied off one end and ruffled the edges up a little. The string walked back inside and ordered a drink again. The bartender asked "say, aren't you that piece of string?" The string replied "frayed knot!"
Off topic, I know. I always like what you have to say.
LTV, thank you for the laugh. That thought had crossed my mind too. Reminded me of a clean joke my cousin told when he was five. A piece of string walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at him and said "We don't serve your kind in here." So the piece of string went outside, tied off one end and ruffled the edges up a little. The string walked back inside and ordered a drink again. The bartender asked "say, aren't you that piece of string?" The string replied "frayed knot!"
Off topic, I know. I always like what you have to say.
pray for strength
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hey fellow SR friends,
Inspiration to keep on going with this sobriety thing can be found anywhere if one's eyes are open, right? Thanks for all your responses and support. OK. Tonight, this very night, is HUGE for me. Two months ago I was updating my resume for an awesome work opportunity that I really wanted in my life. As I was updating, the thought "I hope I don't F&%k it up" went through my mind. And I stopped, thought about it, and could not figure out how I had gotten to this point where my first thought when going for a dream is that I hope I do not mess it up.
That got the ball rolling, brought me here to SR, and launched this whole new chapter.
Happy to say that the job mentioned above is now mine to lose. Tonight. There is a cocktail party with a ton of people who have a lot of power...and these will be the 'yes' or 'no' moments tallied for a final decision. Don't worry, I'm checking these power people out as well.
Totally sober. I'm going for it! My plan is in place. My outfit is chosen. The butterflies are safely confined to my stomach. This is mine. I'm gonna get it!
You all have played such a part in me being here, at this moment...you have no idea. If you have the chance to read this, please cross your fingers and send super vibes into the aether.
Inspiration to keep on going with this sobriety thing can be found anywhere if one's eyes are open, right? Thanks for all your responses and support. OK. Tonight, this very night, is HUGE for me. Two months ago I was updating my resume for an awesome work opportunity that I really wanted in my life. As I was updating, the thought "I hope I don't F&%k it up" went through my mind. And I stopped, thought about it, and could not figure out how I had gotten to this point where my first thought when going for a dream is that I hope I do not mess it up.
That got the ball rolling, brought me here to SR, and launched this whole new chapter.
Happy to say that the job mentioned above is now mine to lose. Tonight. There is a cocktail party with a ton of people who have a lot of power...and these will be the 'yes' or 'no' moments tallied for a final decision. Don't worry, I'm checking these power people out as well.
Totally sober. I'm going for it! My plan is in place. My outfit is chosen. The butterflies are safely confined to my stomach. This is mine. I'm gonna get it!
You all have played such a part in me being here, at this moment...you have no idea. If you have the chance to read this, please cross your fingers and send super vibes into the aether.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I think booze makes us lazy as it becomes our only pleasure. When we first get sober, we have to get creative and find other things that bring us pleasure. Today, I read a magazine that has been sitting for a month. I downloaded two books reviewed in the magazine and ordered a $20 trinket advertised in the mag that makes me smile every time I look at it and I am looking around my house figuring out where I am going to put it. In the magazine was an article that said that good manners comes down to being a person who is nice to know. I loved that quote, so I repeated it to my children and I put it in my sobriety journal. I am sipping on a Vitamin Water (which I have grown to love, one of many new drinks in my refrigerator. Before my drinks were one of two things: red wine and Diet Coke BLECH!!) I now want to get to reading those books, but not before I set up my bird feeder with more feed because a pair of cardinals have practically become family pets and look for their food every day . . . . Sober life is simply wonderful!!!!!
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