Why Can't I Stop?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1
Why Can't I Stop?
Hi, I'm new. I feel stupid posting on here because I am struggling to stop drinking, but I don't feel like I have as much of a problem as some people do.
Until the past 4-5 months, I only drank maybe once or twice a year. But depression has started kicking my butt during the past few months, and I have been binging like there's no tomorrow. I went from maybe 2-4 drinks a year to at least 6-7 a night, every night, except on the days that I am puking so much I can't keep down any more alcohol. I know that it's becoming a problem. I have already managed to get put on probation at work and have become very violent at home (I am a female, and this is very atypical for me). My hangovers have been lasting for days on end. I am a closet drinker; I only drink at home and only when my roommate isn't around, because she hates me drinking (probably because I gave her a black eye once while drunk). I have only had a couple of blackouts, but I just wake up safely in my chair/couch the next morning. I have not driven while drunk.
I know that my drinking is becoming a problem...but I've really only been drinking heavily for a few months, so I should be able to stop easily. During the past few weeks I have been trying to stop. Yet I feel like I'm struggling to do so. I don't have any physical withdrawal symptoms, but I feel even more depressed than usual during the first few days of being sober, which ultimately causes me to drink again. Is it really possible to become hooked after only a few months? So many of you have quit after years of binging; why am I struggling to quit after only a few months?
Until the past 4-5 months, I only drank maybe once or twice a year. But depression has started kicking my butt during the past few months, and I have been binging like there's no tomorrow. I went from maybe 2-4 drinks a year to at least 6-7 a night, every night, except on the days that I am puking so much I can't keep down any more alcohol. I know that it's becoming a problem. I have already managed to get put on probation at work and have become very violent at home (I am a female, and this is very atypical for me). My hangovers have been lasting for days on end. I am a closet drinker; I only drink at home and only when my roommate isn't around, because she hates me drinking (probably because I gave her a black eye once while drunk). I have only had a couple of blackouts, but I just wake up safely in my chair/couch the next morning. I have not driven while drunk.
I know that my drinking is becoming a problem...but I've really only been drinking heavily for a few months, so I should be able to stop easily. During the past few weeks I have been trying to stop. Yet I feel like I'm struggling to do so. I don't have any physical withdrawal symptoms, but I feel even more depressed than usual during the first few days of being sober, which ultimately causes me to drink again. Is it really possible to become hooked after only a few months? So many of you have quit after years of binging; why am I struggling to quit after only a few months?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by zookini
My hangovers have been lasting for days on end... except on the days that I am puking so much I can't keep down any more alcohol....I don't have any physical withdrawal symptoms, but I feel even more depressed than usual during the first few days of being sober
What have you done to stay sober? Have you tried AA, Smart, or any other groups? Talked to your Dr.? There are meds that will reduce alcohol cravings. Whatever you have been doing to try to stay sober - you didn't really say in your post - it isn't sufficient, you need to do something else.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Mediterranean
Posts: 187
Welcome Zookini, good to have you here!
I wonder if you can address any if the causes that triggered the original bingeing, if it would help? Did anything in particular happen? Alcohol can get a string hold of you very quickly but I do hope you are able to nip this in the bud before it becomes more of a habit/problem for you. The violence especially. Sorry I dint have much else constructive to say, I'm only 8 days sober and still working things out myself, but very best of luck to you and I hope you find SR a valuable resource for support x
I wonder if you can address any if the causes that triggered the original bingeing, if it would help? Did anything in particular happen? Alcohol can get a string hold of you very quickly but I do hope you are able to nip this in the bud before it becomes more of a habit/problem for you. The violence especially. Sorry I dint have much else constructive to say, I'm only 8 days sober and still working things out myself, but very best of luck to you and I hope you find SR a valuable resource for support x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
You've made a huge step to acknowledge you have a problem, especially so early on. As you have seen first hand it can spiral out of control and very fast.
The early days are hard, there is no doubt about that. Everyone has different ways of getting through each day. For me it was the thought of waking up without a hangover, even if I had little/no sleep, I still felt so much better.
Take things as the come, made milestones for a day, then a week, then a month.
I wish you well
PC
The early days are hard, there is no doubt about that. Everyone has different ways of getting through each day. For me it was the thought of waking up without a hangover, even if I had little/no sleep, I still felt so much better.
Take things as the come, made milestones for a day, then a week, then a month.
I wish you well
PC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Yes, alcohol can become a problem/addiction very fast.
I knew I had a problem within weeks of starting. 6 months after I started I was seeking professional help to stop. (that was about 9 years ago and I've been trying to quit off & on ever since, 2 weeks sober yesterday). I kept telling myself I wasn't that bad too. It's a lie, if you think it's a problem it is.
You Can quit, you just have to want it bad enough. Like they say you need to Want to quit more than you want to drink.
Good luck to you, this board is awesome, tons of support and others who know what you're going through.
I knew I had a problem within weeks of starting. 6 months after I started I was seeking professional help to stop. (that was about 9 years ago and I've been trying to quit off & on ever since, 2 weeks sober yesterday). I kept telling myself I wasn't that bad too. It's a lie, if you think it's a problem it is.
You Can quit, you just have to want it bad enough. Like they say you need to Want to quit more than you want to drink.
Good luck to you, this board is awesome, tons of support and others who know what you're going through.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by Taking5 
These ARE physical withdrawal symptoms. A hangover IS alcohol withdrawal. For reference, I recommend the book "Under the Influence", which explains the medical science behind all this. Alcohol is a depressant, many of us found our depression much better after a few weeks sober.
What have you done to stay sober? Have you tried AA, Smart, or any other groups? Talked to your Dr.? There are meds that will reduce alcohol cravings. Whatever you have been doing to try to stay sober - you didn't really say in your post - it isn't sufficient, you need to do something else.
What have you done to stay sober? Have you tried AA, Smart, or any other groups? Talked to your Dr.? There are meds that will reduce alcohol cravings. Whatever you have been doing to try to stay sober - you didn't really say in your post - it isn't sufficient, you need to do something else.
Alcohol is a CNS depressant, but depression isn't caused by depressants. Alcohol at smaller doses in considered by some to be a stimulant. If it were purely a depressant people wouldn't get rowdy while drinking. Again depression isn't caused by depressants. It's just two words that are used in the medical community that sound similar so lay people like to think one contributes to the other.
That being said, OP is only a few months into drinking heavily. I was there once I could have quit then. I should have quit then. I didn't. It would have been so easy to quit if I had only been drinking every night for a few months. It was 545 days straight of drinking every night before I broke the cycle, and then 6 months of drinking 2-3 times a week before I quit. Please quit now before you REALLY can't stop. Quit before you start having to go to work or take exams drunk. Quit before you gain 35lbs. Quit before you shake and have panic attacks every single time you come down from drinking. It can get bad my friend.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome to SR. This is a great place for support and encouragement in quitting.
You wrote that alcohol is becoming a problem and I am going to suggest that your alcohol consumption now IS a problem. Ask yourself how bad does bad have to get before stopping? You are at risk of being fired if you are on probation. You risk losing your housing and being arrested if you continue battering your room mates. That might not be characteristics of you sober but it is something you are doing while drunk and you are now drinking every day - so this is now characteristic of you. Even if you wrote you drank only once a year but when you did all these things happened it would be a problem.
Quitting is hard but it can be done. I too used to drink after a few days because I felt so low but it only made it worse. When I quit I went to hospital detox. It was hard to do but worth it because it I had people watching out for me and the withdrawal wasn't bad with medical attention. It is something to consider. Taking that initial plunge.
Again, welcome. The hardest part is admitting you might have a problem. No one likes to do that but you did. It is a start. Come here. Look into local in person support. Good luck.
You wrote that alcohol is becoming a problem and I am going to suggest that your alcohol consumption now IS a problem. Ask yourself how bad does bad have to get before stopping? You are at risk of being fired if you are on probation. You risk losing your housing and being arrested if you continue battering your room mates. That might not be characteristics of you sober but it is something you are doing while drunk and you are now drinking every day - so this is now characteristic of you. Even if you wrote you drank only once a year but when you did all these things happened it would be a problem.
Quitting is hard but it can be done. I too used to drink after a few days because I felt so low but it only made it worse. When I quit I went to hospital detox. It was hard to do but worth it because it I had people watching out for me and the withdrawal wasn't bad with medical attention. It is something to consider. Taking that initial plunge.
Again, welcome. The hardest part is admitting you might have a problem. No one likes to do that but you did. It is a start. Come here. Look into local in person support. Good luck.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Welcome zookini!
I agree that this is already a problem. If you are getting violent and have given your roommate a black eye, it is only a matter of time before she calls the police. Time to see a doc for the depression and to stop drinking.
Have you thought of face to face support? A therapist or AA or life ring? Having support will help tremendously.
I agree that this is already a problem. If you are getting violent and have given your roommate a black eye, it is only a matter of time before she calls the police. Time to see a doc for the depression and to stop drinking.
Have you thought of face to face support? A therapist or AA or life ring? Having support will help tremendously.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Being put on probation at work, hurting your roommate physically, and puking when you drink frequently are certainly a problem for most people.
Glad you are here and ready to do something about this.
The first step is usually to admit you have a problem and are ready to stop.
What kind of support can you get / are you willing to use to help you stop?
Willpower usually isn't enough.
I agree with others, the doctor might be the best starting point.
Glad you are here and ready to do something about this.
The first step is usually to admit you have a problem and are ready to stop.
What kind of support can you get / are you willing to use to help you stop?
Willpower usually isn't enough.
I agree with others, the doctor might be the best starting point.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
Zookini, don't feel stupid for being here. You have a problem and you are seeking help. Stupid would be to carry on with the behaviour that you know is hurting you and others. It sounds like you are earlier in your problem so this would be the perfect time to never put the drink to your lips again. Keep posting and be strong.
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