RVKH

I've been a severe alcohol addict for almost seven years. i.e. by 10 am I'm shaking, puking, and passing out if I don't have something to drink. My husband just told me he doesn't give a **** if I die from this because "it's my own damn fault" and he doesn't want to have any part in supporting me. I'm reaching out on this forum because I honestly feel like i may just get it over with so I don't have to suffer with this anymore.

FeenixxRising

Welcome. There's always the alternative: get sober and have a good life. Of course, It won't be easy, but you deserve a good life just as much as the next person. Have you considered a medical detox and possibly rehab?

Alphabet

Thank you for coming here before doing anything drastic!! And if you need, please call a suicide hotline or something.

It certainly seems like a detox would be a good thing for you at this point. Even the ER and ask them about your options.

Those are some harsh words from your husband, but I know people who love us get outstandingly frustrated and hurt over our addict behavior. I know my fiancé hasn't said some of the nicest things on my worst days.

We're all here for you, please stay with us <3

Dee74

Welcome RVKH

Do you think you need a Dr?

D

RVKH

Thank you all for your kind words. It honestly helps more than you could know.

I went to a 30 day detox/rehab program 10 months ago. It was so bad that they kept me in the hospital on 100 mg of valium/day for four days before they even let me be in the "dorms" and on only 40 mg/day because they were afraid I would have a seizure.

Although it was only 10 months ago, I blew it and starting drinking every day again and am well back into withdrawal symptoms (I threw up on the floor at Costco today - hence my husband's kind words)

We can't afford another inpatient program, my husband has pretty much given up - but I do understand his frustration and sadness... I've learned it's very hard for people to understand addiction. Not to be cliche, but I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and hurting the person I love more than anything (but apparently not anything) and I really don't know if I can beat this.

Alphabet

You absolutely can, RV. Is there anyway you could see a doctor soon? Sounds like you're really in a lot of pain.

RVKH

For context, I'm in my mid 20s, have two science degrees, a great summer internship that I kick butt at... but I'm the one that buys 4 liters wine at 6:30am so I can get through the work day without shaking or seriously contemplating asking someone to take me to the ER.

RVKH

Alphabet my doctor won't help me anymore unless I commit to 7 days/week seeing her, 7 days/week of AA, 5 days/week of talking to a therapist, and a promise that I'll go back into inpatient treatment if I slip up once.

Alphabet

There has to be some sort of clinic for you to go to. Hmmmm...


I'm rooting for you, though

RVKH

Alphabet thank you so much for your support. I was definitely on the verge of doing something bad but for someone that has never met me to care made me smile through the sadness.

I'm supposed to be at work in 5 hours so I shall attempt sleep but I'll check back in tomorrow! Thank you again! Not sure what your story is yet but I'd love to hear it if you want to share and if you're struggling with anything I'm rooting for you too!

cl9000

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. That seems pretty strict of the doctor to require all that.

If seeking medical help is just absolutely out of the question, would it be possible to gradually cut down on the daily amount you drink? And maybe take Thursday/Friday off and spend the weekend concentrating on getting off the alcohol completely? Just an idea.. I know it would probably be difficult to withdraw while working.

Alphabet

You're very welcome, RV

My story isn't much different from yours, and I'm currently on day 2 so not feeling so hot, but better than I was.

Sleep tight

Taking5

Have you tried AA? Did it work for you?

Laura567

RVKH, I am just sending some hugs your way, it really sounds like you are having a hard time. I hope you can fins some sort of help, I am not living in the States so don´t know whats available, but this site is great, lots of good advice!

Vandermast

theres some really good advice here..best listen or all the good things you have will slip away..what price a life? v

MIRecovery

From your explanation I would recommend medically supervised detox and treatment.

For long term treatment A A worked when all else failed

Erratic

Not sure where ur from? here in uk we can get help. However if u cant, can u afford to see a GP/doctor at a clinic to see if he can prescribe some help with withdrawals? Also AA could help or look up online to see what is offered free around u area.

Good luck I know and understand what its like when the husband says things like that.

huggles

Mountainmanbob

sounds like you have made a decision to stop drinking
a great first start
this site will help you much in the understanding of your disease
I would also look into AA attendance
sure have been beneficial for me
if nothing else order an AA Big Book
this book will answer many of your questions
MM

least

Welcome to the family. You most certainly can get over this and go on to have a normal productive life. How badly do you want it? Put your heart and soul into it.

wpainterw

Too bad your husband is not more supportive. But stick with it for your own sake and keep posting on this forum. Get support from other recovering alcoholics who understand what it's like. Nothing absolutely nothing compares with the importance of stopping. Good luck and every good wish.

W.