healing experience
happy, joyous an free!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
healing experience
i decided to write about the wonderful day i had yesterday as it proved to be a true codie healing experience for me.
my ras has an important event next week for which he has been preparing for in a very responsible way. he has really impressed me in the past few weeks with the changes i am seeing due to him really working his recovery hard. he chose recovery 1 year ago next week and his recovery is progressing. anyways... he asked if it was ok if he had a cookout here with some of his NA friends as a way to get support and in thanks for their friendships.
i said it was fine but i wasn't in a position to help $ wise. he assured me my help wasn't necessary and that the friends he'd invite were in serious recovery. some i had met and many i had heard him speak of so i was pretty comfortable on that front.
what made my codie activate was not being able to DO! paper plates, cups, food, etc. it drove me crazy for days! this almost manic behavior of having to organize and prepare for someone else who wasn't asking for anything - what the heck?! i realized that although i have gotten a handle on behaviors of non interference my thought processes are still very sick. this may seem like a simple thing but i also realized it wasn't just about the cookout. this just brought up my anxiety/angst with not interfering (helping?) with the bigger event next week and was manifesting in this easier arena... so i have been working harder on my own recovery. it is much like the A's recovery in that we can put down the physical aspects of our disease (drink/drug/behaviors) but it isn't recovery if we don't do the mental and spiritual work too. so while praying, meditating, doing meetings, reading - i calmly cleaned and came up with activities for the kids and planted some flowers..... in other words i gave it to God and allowed my son to be an adult! and slowly all my anxiety left me. the mania left and i just relaxed.
so yesterday this group of truly fantastic people came together, each contributing something to the gathering food wise and i watched some real magic happen! there was so much love and true caring and loads of laughter and serious recovery talk and no issues at all on any level! my heart got bigger! i could feel it happening!
i enjoyed myself immensely and that's all i did! i even allowed others to cater to me! and the whole experience was very healing. it proved to be an occasion which was in support of my son but it also was an event in support of me. many spoke to me about my son and his recovery and strength and their love of him.
i am learning. to let go. to trust. to allow. to grow. to love...
my ras has an important event next week for which he has been preparing for in a very responsible way. he has really impressed me in the past few weeks with the changes i am seeing due to him really working his recovery hard. he chose recovery 1 year ago next week and his recovery is progressing. anyways... he asked if it was ok if he had a cookout here with some of his NA friends as a way to get support and in thanks for their friendships.
i said it was fine but i wasn't in a position to help $ wise. he assured me my help wasn't necessary and that the friends he'd invite were in serious recovery. some i had met and many i had heard him speak of so i was pretty comfortable on that front.
what made my codie activate was not being able to DO! paper plates, cups, food, etc. it drove me crazy for days! this almost manic behavior of having to organize and prepare for someone else who wasn't asking for anything - what the heck?! i realized that although i have gotten a handle on behaviors of non interference my thought processes are still very sick. this may seem like a simple thing but i also realized it wasn't just about the cookout. this just brought up my anxiety/angst with not interfering (helping?) with the bigger event next week and was manifesting in this easier arena... so i have been working harder on my own recovery. it is much like the A's recovery in that we can put down the physical aspects of our disease (drink/drug/behaviors) but it isn't recovery if we don't do the mental and spiritual work too. so while praying, meditating, doing meetings, reading - i calmly cleaned and came up with activities for the kids and planted some flowers..... in other words i gave it to God and allowed my son to be an adult! and slowly all my anxiety left me. the mania left and i just relaxed.
so yesterday this group of truly fantastic people came together, each contributing something to the gathering food wise and i watched some real magic happen! there was so much love and true caring and loads of laughter and serious recovery talk and no issues at all on any level! my heart got bigger! i could feel it happening!
i enjoyed myself immensely and that's all i did! i even allowed others to cater to me! and the whole experience was very healing. it proved to be an occasion which was in support of my son but it also was an event in support of me. many spoke to me about my son and his recovery and strength and their love of him.
i am learning. to let go. to trust. to allow. to grow. to love...
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 43
Thank you for sharing this, it sounds like it was a wonderful experience for everyone!
Haha, and I can totally relate to wanting to do the organizing and planning of everything...but letting that go and seeing the results...sounds like a small miracle to me
Haha, and I can totally relate to wanting to do the organizing and planning of everything...but letting that go and seeing the results...sounds like a small miracle to me
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