Socialising with friends sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Socialising with friends sober
I thought I'd start this thread as often read on SR about people who are newly sober worrying about ever being able to go out again with friends.
I always drank when I went out. I always went to places where alcohol was served and would never dream of going anywhere where there was no alcohol. Since getting sober I've made some new friends who rarely drink and have started doing non drinking activities too which I recommend.
However, there will always be situations where people ask you to restaurants/bars etc where they and all around you are drinking. Of course some drinking buddies do fall by the wayside but that's not a bad thing if they're just drinking buddies.
Tonight I went out with some new friends to such a place. Even though 18 months sober I wasn't sure whether to go or not. It's not that I was worried about drinking-I knew I wouldn't as my life is so much better sober. Neither was I bothered about others drinking as that doesn't bother me-as long as they are not crazy drunk of course. My main concern was whether I would enjoy it or would I just feel so out of place and nervous with new people .Normally with new people I'd drink before going out to calm my nerves and continue when out.
To my surprise I've had a really really good night. We ate lovely food in a great place, had good conversation and just had a fun night. I left at 11,got into my car and drove home,not worrying about getting pulled over or breathalysed. I've even taken my makeup off
So to all starting out, the horrible anxious feelings you feel now will ease and the fears of never being able to go out with friends again and feel comfortable do go away in time and you will be able to have a really good night out.It does take time ,I'm not suggesting it in the first few weeks or even months but in time you will get there
I always drank when I went out. I always went to places where alcohol was served and would never dream of going anywhere where there was no alcohol. Since getting sober I've made some new friends who rarely drink and have started doing non drinking activities too which I recommend.
However, there will always be situations where people ask you to restaurants/bars etc where they and all around you are drinking. Of course some drinking buddies do fall by the wayside but that's not a bad thing if they're just drinking buddies.
Tonight I went out with some new friends to such a place. Even though 18 months sober I wasn't sure whether to go or not. It's not that I was worried about drinking-I knew I wouldn't as my life is so much better sober. Neither was I bothered about others drinking as that doesn't bother me-as long as they are not crazy drunk of course. My main concern was whether I would enjoy it or would I just feel so out of place and nervous with new people .Normally with new people I'd drink before going out to calm my nerves and continue when out.
To my surprise I've had a really really good night. We ate lovely food in a great place, had good conversation and just had a fun night. I left at 11,got into my car and drove home,not worrying about getting pulled over or breathalysed. I've even taken my makeup off
So to all starting out, the horrible anxious feelings you feel now will ease and the fears of never being able to go out with friends again and feel comfortable do go away in time and you will be able to have a really good night out.It does take time ,I'm not suggesting it in the first few weeks or even months but in time you will get there
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 621
Great post Readyatlast - even though I am only a month sober this time I really relate to all you have written about. Even though it was really difficult to get sober again I do remember enjoying myself so much more socialising and not minding being the only person not drinking. If I was/am in a social situation where people as getting too pissed and stupid I always have a quick exit plan. Socialising sober is really good - I believe that I'm much more interesting and engaging!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thanks for all your responses-I hope it was of some help.Definitely feel better taking make up off Leshar
I am quieter than I used to be and maybe a bit shy to start off but that's me and I've learned there's nothing wrong with that. An exit plan is a must Alcoholfree-you're right. I was driving but not the DD as others were going clubbing later and making their own way home so I knew I could leave at any time. Nowadays I'm just tired by 10.30 and want to go home though how much of that is ageing rather than sobriety I'm not sure
Now it's morning here in the UK. Instead of waking with headache,sickness, heart racing,grogginess, anxiety,dread, memory loss and the shame and fear over what I did or said last night I feel clear headed and most importantly have peace of mind.
Happy sober Sunday x
I am quieter than I used to be and maybe a bit shy to start off but that's me and I've learned there's nothing wrong with that. An exit plan is a must Alcoholfree-you're right. I was driving but not the DD as others were going clubbing later and making their own way home so I knew I could leave at any time. Nowadays I'm just tired by 10.30 and want to go home though how much of that is ageing rather than sobriety I'm not sure
Now it's morning here in the UK. Instead of waking with headache,sickness, heart racing,grogginess, anxiety,dread, memory loss and the shame and fear over what I did or said last night I feel clear headed and most importantly have peace of mind.
Happy sober Sunday x
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Beautiful post, Ready. Thanks. I still have a lot of anxiety about anything social, but it's a relief to me to know that because I'm not drinking, I'll have the presence of mind to behave decently and to leave at an appropriate time. I really, really never want to have the reputation for being "fun" at parties again.
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