jessie65

God, this is awful. First time since I attempted the (almost) impossible task of quitting forever, my AV is SCREAMING today. I would almost give my right arm for a strong drink right now. How easy it would be, (but devastating later when I think about what I did).
What did you all do to get through the early days, weeks? How did you talk yourself out of making an impulsive decision to drink?
I'm Not going to drink, Dear God it's so hard though.

360shoes

Hi Jessie!
Hang in there! That happen to me too. I literally had a few days where I literally white knuckled the steering wheel on my car. I think I actually screamed too. I'm sure if someone saw me they would have thought I was nuts!

That was just part of the my pact with myself that at first I would do ANYTHING but pick up a drink. I would have ate that steering wheel if I had too.

Time it. It will pass. It always passes. It will get shorter the next time around. Even hit less often.

Once I realized it did not last forever and that if I did not drink when it happened, once it passed, I felt fantastic. As in I actually felt good. I'd get a wave of pride I didn't have before.

Hold on! You can do it!!!!

360shoes

Hey, it helped me to blab it out here too. I found when I just typed out how I felt even if I didn't know. That helped. Half the time I didn't even make sense. Then I would laugh. That helped too. I would almost beg someone to tell me a joke.

Great job getting on here when you are having a hard time. It's okay.

You are doing great!

jessie65

360, thank-you!!
I can't even cry, I'm in public, I think I would just cry if I was home. I can't believe how strong it is. It's just a mental obsession for me, I just want that drink so bad (and a few more).

Thanks so much, nice to know I'm not alone, I appreciate it.

Frrunkis

Do as much busywork as you possibly can, make arrangements and have people depend on you showing up / doing what you promised. But most importantly, exercise.

Get some kettlebells or dumbells going when ever you have that urge to drink and just let some steam out. A few minutes with a heavy bag is great too, if you have access to one.

Also just think about the day after, do you really want to wake up past noon tomorrow with a headache and that feeling of utter regret? What will you gain from getting plastered now?

Leave your wallet at home and go for a long walk and think about all that.

Stoogy

It is very tough early on, I had to use my wife as my motivation tool to get through the initial stages simply as I did not care for myself enough to quit, but I did it for her, I could not stand the thought of me drinking my life away and leaving my wife to pick up the pieces it simply would not be fair.
Once I got to 2-3 months then my next motivation tool was to not throw away all my hard work up till that point.
I think you need to pick small battles to keep yourself motivated, each day represents a moral victory for the alcoholic against the bottle.

jessie65

I keep telling myself 'Just get through today, just get through today' but then I'm thinking, no just get through the next hour!!!!!

This is insane, how can Anybody need a drink that badly?

360shoes

If you like ice cream and can get some, go for it! I'm not kidding. Sometimes something sweet really helped me. I worried about calories later. Treat yourself to something yummy you really like. See if that helps it lift a little.

I liked it because one...I rarely was nice to myself and heaven knows I was good at beating myself up so a treat was good practice for me to do something nice for myself and not freaking feel guilty. It wasn't alcohol so no need to feel guilty!! Plus...two...my body was used to all the carbs from the daily wine consumption so it literally helped physically.

I worried about calories and eating too many sweets later. It leveled off. It will be okay.

How you doing?

resolute50

Hang in there Jessie!
It gets better. You should be very proud of yourself.
You're using this site to help instead of giving into that awful AV.
It will pass.

SoberHoopsFan

But play it through to the end, it won't be just one drink, and it will likely bring very negative consequences. The AV is ruthless, it will say anything to get what it wants, but you know better

jessie65

Thank-you all for being here, it's helps so much, you're my lifeline right now!!
360, I'm eating chocolate!! And drinking a ton of water.

I'm going crazy because I want to be here but there's people all around me and I click off when somebody gets too close, lol, then I get back on and have to sign in again!!

I'm feeling a little stronger at the moment. For just a moment when I first posted today I was so close to caving. Thank-you all, it really helps to know I'm not alone and you all get it.

jessie65

Soberhoops, you're right, it's never 1 drink. I know that even when I decide to drink, I always know that. My (AV) reasoning is that I only binge a couple times a week, I can't be that bad.

Not true, it's BAD, binging is bad, I'm lucky I woke up after a few of my binges. Scary stuff.

Stoogy

We are all here for you Jessie.

Hope2014

Hi Jessie,
I got cravings when my blood sugar was low. Try orange juice or ice cream and go for a walk and get sunshine. You'll be proud tomorrow that you didn't give in. It will get easier. In the beginning it's a challenge; you will figure out what works best for you. Keep posting too! You will get support and it will change your mind. We have all been there!!! You can do it

Nuudawn

So glad you're hanging in there. Good job on posting. Breathe in and out. Sometimes it's so damn hard to get on through. Had a bad bout myself last night.
You're dealing with something here...some cravings are mammoth.
Ride it out..just get through the day. Run..scream..go for a drive...pound walls..
You're in the thick of it but we are all here.

Spinach

Keep a focus on the days ,
Hot baths, early nights, books, DVD's preferable box sets.
Sweet drinks of your choice , vitamins including B ,
In a week you'll be seeing something, then clever boxing and counting not only days but cash saved, plan holidays new things to do. Because all the world is out there for you and YOU CAN.
Life can only get better and will.
John.

jessie65

Nuudawn, I keep telling myself just breathe, I can do this, wow, but I've never done this. I always gave in to the cravings. Just breathe..
I am trying to keep my eye on the prize, I know I need to remember why I am quitting. It seems some time goes by since my last bad hangover and I start Forgetting the hell I put myself through.

I just want to give myself a chance! I want to improve my life, and I just can't do it drinking, I already know that. There's so many possibilities if I can just get sober and have a clear mind. I want to feel better mentally & physically, it feels like forever since I've felt at peace with myself.
I'm drinking coffee.

Thanks guys. You are awesome.

overthis50

I'm sorry you are going through this. I promise you it will be the best decision you have ever made. I have never drank but I have some experience about it due to my deceased father who passed away in September of 2013. He died of alcoholic cirrhosis. We got the news January 15th 2013 that he was dying of alcoholic cirrhosis. He would always kid around that he wouldn't see his 50th birthday. He did see it and we through him a party the last party he would ever have. He suffered for 8 long months from it. We watched him go from little to big literally over night. I left town to go see my sister and I came back only two days later and I couldn't recognize my own dad. It was so sad to watch him go through that. He told me right before he passed that if he could go back and know what he knows now he would have never touched alcohol. That's just it we can't go back. It was already to late. The damage was already done. The damage couldn't be undone. He would always say "I'm waiting for that 15% liver function" left. He never got that. Sorry about the long post. You can get through this. I just wanted to tell you my story. Alcohol is no way to die. Especially if you have kids because I promise you it would be a sight they would never forget. Stay strong and I will be praying for you. You CAN get through this. I know it's hard because my dad when he would quit for a day or two he would get sick, shake all over, and get depressed. Then he would give up and it ultimately took his life. Just NEVER give up. Keep fighting. I'm sorry you're going through this. It WILL get better though.

jessie65

Thank-you overthis50. I really appreciate your post. I need to remember that I am fighting for my life with this addiction. I don't want to find out that it's too late someday, I can't even imagine putting my family through that. There were mornings that I knew I was lucky to wake up, I would lay there in bed, almost frozen with fear, thinking about the unbelievable amount of alcohol I drank.
Sorry about your dad.

Aiko

My basics to cope and overcome the waves:

* Keep away from places and drinkers!
* Sports, walking, swimming, etc. helps tonessssssss
* Planing for every week, so you are busy and do not get bored
* Joying some classes... paint, judo, computing, ... anything you like!
* What is it you always wanted to do and have never done???? Do it!
* Get extra support, psychologist, AA, etc.
* Post here, come to the chat room any time and talk to others...
* Reading here and helping others... It helps you will learn how to deal with the addiction!

Hope you learn to deal with the AV,
is like a little devil and you need to shut him up!!!

Be strong at the begging is worse,
but I promise you learn to be sober and gets easier!