Rattler

Good morning to all, I'm new here and need a place to turn to.

The issue is with my mother whom I feel is drinking a lot and I'm very concerned about this and so is my sister. I believe she began to drink more following the death of my father three and a half years ago. Here's the pattern as I've been best able to observe, she will start at around noon when she has lunch and is usually in bed by 6:30. There are times when I will talk with her on the phone in the afternoon when her voice seems slurred and labored. I now understand that some relatives have made this same observation and her neighbors have noticed some things one one of them reports seeing her out front and appeared to be staggering. I've looked in her trash and there are often large numbers of wine bottles - chardonnay being her drink of choice and just from checking her refrigerator she's consuming the equivalent of one bottle a day, this seems like a lot to me. My sister and I have yet to discuss this with her. My mom was recently in the hospital for surgery and for three weeks she did not drink, doctors orders not to consume anything acidic such as alcohol, but upon being cleared by her surgeon during a follow up appointment she has resumed, we had hoped she would cut back.

honeypig

Welcome to SR, Rattler. I'm sorry to hear about your concerns w/your mom's drinking. You've come to the right place to learn about alcoholism and to find support.

Can I recommend that you spend some time just reading around in this section of the forum as well as checking out the stickies at the top of the page? There's a lot of good basic info in the stickies that will help you learn about alcoholism and what you can and can't do to help your mother. As you read other people's threads, you'll likely start to recognize parts of your story in theirs. You'll know you're not alone in confronting this disease.

Can I also recommend checking into Alanon as an in-person resource for both education and support? Here's a link to help you find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ There is no cost and no obligation, only a community of folks who've been where you are now and who will help you find your way.

Again, welcome to SR, and I hope you find the help you're looking for here.

chicory

Welcome Rattler,

I am glad you found SR, because I think its a great place . I wish I had had access to it back when my mom was in her dark drinking days. She has passed, at 62- much too young.

Perhaps voicing your concerns to her will help, her and you. She might be moved to get help.

If she doesn't , there isn't much you can do, except for your own peace of mind. Al-anon can give you some support, and your sister as well.

this link may give you something useful. It helps a lot to know what is helpful and what is enabling. I hope you stick around, and the friends and family of Alcoholics is a good place for you to post as well. lots of folks who understand, and have experience to share.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ook-study.html

Rattler

Yes, I'm considering al-anon. So happens a group meets at a church very close to where I live. They meet every Thursday.

I know that I cannot stop a problem drinker, make them quit. Do need to deal with my own worry and anxiety over the situation and I know that al-anon is where I can get help in dealing with that.

What I think will also help is while I have been unemployed I do start a long term position on Monday. This should help to take my mind of of this for awhile.

Stoogy

Hi Rattler, so sorry to hear about your mothers situation, it is difficult to do but having an honest discussion with your mother may well help shed light on this situation and she will then realise the concerns being raised by other family members too.

Wishing you well.

Rattler

There's not much doubt that my mother is having a hard time dealing with the loss of my dad, more than what she's letting on. She is 82 years old.