Seeking advice from one confused/hurt dude
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5
Seeking advice from one confused/hurt dude
I'm sure this is a common story that is shared on here with a pretty straightforward answer, but I just need to share it with a community of people who will probably know where I'm coming from. I'll try keeping it and short and sweet.
I started dating a girl about 3 months ago. We met at church. We are both Christians, and have great personal relationships with Christ. We went on our first date, and everything clicked. We just had "that" connection. For the next few weeks, we either talked 24/7 or we with each other. One day, she asked if we were together, and I said yeah, but there is no need to rush anything since it's still so early, but yes, and she proceeded to drop the love word. I said no need to rush, but yeah I feel the same. Then all the sudden I didn't hear from her for almost 24 hours. I was getting worried cuz like I said, we were either talking or texting all the time. Then on a Friday evening, I got the call. It was a call from a number not in my phone. She was calling me to tell me that she had just entered a drug and alcohol rehab facility and that it was a 30 day program. She told me she abused alcohol and needed to be in rehab if she was going to enter a serious relationship with me.
It took me by surprise. I had no idea. After thinking and praying about it, I decided to accept anything and everything that I'd have to do to be there and support her. She was so grateful, because her parents (who were the only other ppl to know she was in there) thought I should run for the hills. But I didn't. Instead I did the opposite. Over the next 30 days, I did everything I could possibly do to be there for her. We talked multiple times a day, praying for her, etc. I sent her letters giving her support and showing her nothing but love. I visited her, I read books that she asked me to read. I went to a couple Al Anon meetings that she suggested so I could get a better grasp of what she would be going through with recovery. Anything she asked. Every night she would call me before bed and tell me how she couldn't wait to get out so we could start our new future. She couldn't wait to show me a new and improved self. She would give me the countdown of how many days before we could start that future before she'd hang up.
2 days before she got out, she told me she was going to move into a sober house immediately after getting out and would be living there for at least 6 months. I was fine with it. Whatever I could do to help. The morning of her release date she called me and made plans to see me that night. She was then released and texted me she was with her mom and could not WAIT to see me in a couple hours. I then didn't hear from her for 3 days. I got a call saying she was just very overwhelmed but wanted to see me the next morning. I agreed. The next morning came and nothing. I was worried about her, calling, texting, making sure she was ok but nothing. For the next two weeks I heard nothing. I got a hold of her mom to make sure she was ok and her mom was shocked that she hadn't talked to me because she said she was doing great and that she had told her mom she talked and hung out with me alot even though that wasn't the case. 5 days after she got out it was my birthday and I thought for sure she would talk to me..... Nope. Nothing.
It has now been a month since she got out. I haven't seen her. I leave voice mails once a day saying that i'm still praying and thinking about her all the time, and that when she's ready to talk i'm there with open arms. Finally yesterday, I got a text from her. It said she was sorry for her lack of communication with me, that she is really focused on herself, she thanked me for the support, but that I wasn't right for her and wished me well and hoped that i was ok. But I'm not ok. I'm hurt, confused, and sometimes get really angry.
I showed nothing but love and support for those 30 days, when the easy thing to do would have been to run. The day before she went into rehab, she told me she loved me. She talked to me constantly for 30 days she was in rehab and couldn't wait to start our future. Then she gets released and I don't even get a phone call. I get completely ignored.
I understand that she needs to focus on herself, but why couldn't I have at least gotten a phone call? That hurt the most. For her to just send a text to tell me I wasn't right for her. I still don't believe that either. I've shown nothing but love. She loved me back. I don't get it. She'll hang up on my calls right away when i try. I just have a hard time believing she doesn't care about me anymore.
So i guess that's why i came on here. Should I just completely delete her from my life and move on? How can a person treat me so bad and disrespect me and my feelings after I was the most loving guy ever toward her? That hurts me so so much. She has to know that hurts me. But it doesn't seem like she cares. Should I just give up and give her her space, and just let it play out?
Sorry for this being so long! Hope some of you can relate and give me some advice and encouragement!!!!
I started dating a girl about 3 months ago. We met at church. We are both Christians, and have great personal relationships with Christ. We went on our first date, and everything clicked. We just had "that" connection. For the next few weeks, we either talked 24/7 or we with each other. One day, she asked if we were together, and I said yeah, but there is no need to rush anything since it's still so early, but yes, and she proceeded to drop the love word. I said no need to rush, but yeah I feel the same. Then all the sudden I didn't hear from her for almost 24 hours. I was getting worried cuz like I said, we were either talking or texting all the time. Then on a Friday evening, I got the call. It was a call from a number not in my phone. She was calling me to tell me that she had just entered a drug and alcohol rehab facility and that it was a 30 day program. She told me she abused alcohol and needed to be in rehab if she was going to enter a serious relationship with me.
It took me by surprise. I had no idea. After thinking and praying about it, I decided to accept anything and everything that I'd have to do to be there and support her. She was so grateful, because her parents (who were the only other ppl to know she was in there) thought I should run for the hills. But I didn't. Instead I did the opposite. Over the next 30 days, I did everything I could possibly do to be there for her. We talked multiple times a day, praying for her, etc. I sent her letters giving her support and showing her nothing but love. I visited her, I read books that she asked me to read. I went to a couple Al Anon meetings that she suggested so I could get a better grasp of what she would be going through with recovery. Anything she asked. Every night she would call me before bed and tell me how she couldn't wait to get out so we could start our new future. She couldn't wait to show me a new and improved self. She would give me the countdown of how many days before we could start that future before she'd hang up.
2 days before she got out, she told me she was going to move into a sober house immediately after getting out and would be living there for at least 6 months. I was fine with it. Whatever I could do to help. The morning of her release date she called me and made plans to see me that night. She was then released and texted me she was with her mom and could not WAIT to see me in a couple hours. I then didn't hear from her for 3 days. I got a call saying she was just very overwhelmed but wanted to see me the next morning. I agreed. The next morning came and nothing. I was worried about her, calling, texting, making sure she was ok but nothing. For the next two weeks I heard nothing. I got a hold of her mom to make sure she was ok and her mom was shocked that she hadn't talked to me because she said she was doing great and that she had told her mom she talked and hung out with me alot even though that wasn't the case. 5 days after she got out it was my birthday and I thought for sure she would talk to me..... Nope. Nothing.
It has now been a month since she got out. I haven't seen her. I leave voice mails once a day saying that i'm still praying and thinking about her all the time, and that when she's ready to talk i'm there with open arms. Finally yesterday, I got a text from her. It said she was sorry for her lack of communication with me, that she is really focused on herself, she thanked me for the support, but that I wasn't right for her and wished me well and hoped that i was ok. But I'm not ok. I'm hurt, confused, and sometimes get really angry.
I showed nothing but love and support for those 30 days, when the easy thing to do would have been to run. The day before she went into rehab, she told me she loved me. She talked to me constantly for 30 days she was in rehab and couldn't wait to start our future. Then she gets released and I don't even get a phone call. I get completely ignored.
I understand that she needs to focus on herself, but why couldn't I have at least gotten a phone call? That hurt the most. For her to just send a text to tell me I wasn't right for her. I still don't believe that either. I've shown nothing but love. She loved me back. I don't get it. She'll hang up on my calls right away when i try. I just have a hard time believing she doesn't care about me anymore.
So i guess that's why i came on here. Should I just completely delete her from my life and move on? How can a person treat me so bad and disrespect me and my feelings after I was the most loving guy ever toward her? That hurts me so so much. She has to know that hurts me. But it doesn't seem like she cares. Should I just give up and give her her space, and just let it play out?
Sorry for this being so long! Hope some of you can relate and give me some advice and encouragement!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Hey there and welcome to SR. I'm sorry for all the hurt and confusion you are experiencing.
In my opinion, you are better off listening to what she says rather than what you want to believe she really means. You have only known her three months, and even when not dealing with an addiction in the relationship that is not a very long time at all. With an addiction, you simply don't know what or who you were really dealing with.
Addicts in recovery are learning to deal with life on life's terms for the first time and their world has turned upside down. If she is to successfully move past her addiction, she must completely focus on herself right now and for the foreseeable future.
While it is upsetting that the support and affection you offered her were neither reciprocated nor appreciated, accepting that she is unable to do either at this time will help you move on to brighter horizons. I wish you strength, peace, and clarity.
In my opinion, you are better off listening to what she says rather than what you want to believe she really means. You have only known her three months, and even when not dealing with an addiction in the relationship that is not a very long time at all. With an addiction, you simply don't know what or who you were really dealing with.
Addicts in recovery are learning to deal with life on life's terms for the first time and their world has turned upside down. If she is to successfully move past her addiction, she must completely focus on herself right now and for the foreseeable future.
While it is upsetting that the support and affection you offered her were neither reciprocated nor appreciated, accepting that she is unable to do either at this time will help you move on to brighter horizons. I wish you strength, peace, and clarity.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
Alcoholism takes away their ability to really feel for someone. They may talk the talk, but never walk the walk.
Don't take it too personally. Many of us on here deal with this on a daily basis. Its part of being a co-dependent, we are care takers. Take care of yourself, pray, and attend some fun events to get your mind off of the situation.
I would give her her space, and move on with your own life. You can't wait around someone who isn't waiting around for themselves. Honestly, if she is lying to her mom about hanging out with you, then she is probably out drinking or doing something else she shouldn't be doing. = the reason for lying.
Good luck, and prayers!
Don't take it too personally. Many of us on here deal with this on a daily basis. Its part of being a co-dependent, we are care takers. Take care of yourself, pray, and attend some fun events to get your mind off of the situation.
I would give her her space, and move on with your own life. You can't wait around someone who isn't waiting around for themselves. Honestly, if she is lying to her mom about hanging out with you, then she is probably out drinking or doing something else she shouldn't be doing. = the reason for lying.
Good luck, and prayers!
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
ummmm, her parents ACTUALLY know her, and figured you should run, right?
You who did not actually know her (after all, it was a surprise that she was going to Rehab, correct?) figured you should wait.
So far, I am thinking the parents are ones with a grip -- you follow?
So from there, she is telling you one thing and doing another. But you still hang in there.
Now you are sort of surprised it turns out that she is a total flake. Wet or Dry.
I am thinking you need to turn off the fantasy movies in your mind, and start paying attention to what is going on the real world.
But as for "how they do it?" Lotta A's have Mental Health / Emotional issues. You may have come out pretty lucky on this one, overall.
You who did not actually know her (after all, it was a surprise that she was going to Rehab, correct?) figured you should wait.
So far, I am thinking the parents are ones with a grip -- you follow?
So from there, she is telling you one thing and doing another. But you still hang in there.
Now you are sort of surprised it turns out that she is a total flake. Wet or Dry.
I am thinking you need to turn off the fantasy movies in your mind, and start paying attention to what is going on the real world.
But as for "how they do it?" Lotta A's have Mental Health / Emotional issues. You may have come out pretty lucky on this one, overall.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Hammer 
ummmm, her parents ACTUALLY know her, and figured you should run, right?
You who did not actually know her (after all, it was a surprise that she was going to Rehab, correct?) figured you should wait.
So far, I am thinking the parents are ones with a grip -- you follow?
So from there, she is telling you one thing and doing another. But you still hang in there.
Now you are sort of surprised it turns out that she is a total flake. Wet or Dry.
I am thinking you need to turn off the fantasy movies in your mind, and start paying attention to what is going on the real world.
But as for "how they do it?" Lotta A's have Mental Health / Emotional issues. You may have come out pretty lucky on this one, overall.
You who did not actually know her (after all, it was a surprise that she was going to Rehab, correct?) figured you should wait.
So far, I am thinking the parents are ones with a grip -- you follow?
So from there, she is telling you one thing and doing another. But you still hang in there.
Now you are sort of surprised it turns out that she is a total flake. Wet or Dry.
I am thinking you need to turn off the fantasy movies in your mind, and start paying attention to what is going on the real world.
But as for "how they do it?" Lotta A's have Mental Health / Emotional issues. You may have come out pretty lucky on this one, overall.
Her parents are alcoholics as well. I am the only spiritual supportive influence in her life and I decided not to ditch her. I decided to actually be there for her. Sorry if that is living in fantasy land.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello and welcome to SR! I am sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here!
Unfortunately, alcoholism is a selfish disease. She did the right thing by going and getting help, however she has really done the wrong thing by you.
Her parents have been in this course for a while with her it sounds, even as alcoholics they understand what this disease can do to someone who loves an alcoholic. It also sounds like she was hiding a lot from you.
I hate to say, but I believe you dodged a bullet so to speak. Being with an addict, even when they are in recovery, is hard and stressful work. It may be that Celebrate Recovery or Alanon would give you face to face support during this time and help you understand an addict's behavior a bit better.
Hold tight to your faith and goodness, just know it will still be there when the time is right.
God Bless!
Unfortunately, alcoholism is a selfish disease. She did the right thing by going and getting help, however she has really done the wrong thing by you.
Her parents have been in this course for a while with her it sounds, even as alcoholics they understand what this disease can do to someone who loves an alcoholic. It also sounds like she was hiding a lot from you.
I hate to say, but I believe you dodged a bullet so to speak. Being with an addict, even when they are in recovery, is hard and stressful work. It may be that Celebrate Recovery or Alanon would give you face to face support during this time and help you understand an addict's behavior a bit better.
Hold tight to your faith and goodness, just know it will still be there when the time is right.
God Bless!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"How can a person treat me so bad and disrespect me and my feelings after I was the most loving guy ever toward her? That hurts me so so much. She has to know that hurts me. But it doesn't seem like she cares. Should I just give up and give her her space, and just let it play out?"
glad yer here! yer a Christian and have a close personal relationship with Christ. that's where our love is to be directed first and foremost.
Matthew 22:37 - Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
how can someone do that to you? welp, look what happened to Jesus. he loved all. he preached on live. yet many people despised him and eventually put Him on the cross.
im gonna disagree that you were the most loving guy towards her. Jesus is.
just because we love others as we are to do (love your neighbor as yourself), that doesn't mean we will receive it in return.
"After thinking and praying about it, I decided to accept anything and everything that I'd have to do to be there and support her."
good that ya prayed on it, but is it possible it wasn't Gods will?maybe you were forcing the answers on yourself? I say that because you say you decided to accept anything and everything. if it had been Gods will, it seems it would read,"the answer I received from God was.."
I would strongly engourage you to give her space. theres much in scripture showing Jesus preaching the word and letting people decide. even after preaching the word andf being put to death, still unbelievers. then on ther day of pentacost peter was preaching. ill let ya read about what happened in Acts.
I would also encourage you to work on forgiveness. theres good scripture on forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Mark 11:25
nd whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
one more thing to think about:
Ecclesiastes 7:20
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins
keep God #1 in your life. continue to pray for her.
glad yer here! yer a Christian and have a close personal relationship with Christ. that's where our love is to be directed first and foremost.
Matthew 22:37 - Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
how can someone do that to you? welp, look what happened to Jesus. he loved all. he preached on live. yet many people despised him and eventually put Him on the cross.
im gonna disagree that you were the most loving guy towards her. Jesus is.
just because we love others as we are to do (love your neighbor as yourself), that doesn't mean we will receive it in return.
"After thinking and praying about it, I decided to accept anything and everything that I'd have to do to be there and support her."
good that ya prayed on it, but is it possible it wasn't Gods will?maybe you were forcing the answers on yourself? I say that because you say you decided to accept anything and everything. if it had been Gods will, it seems it would read,"the answer I received from God was.."
I would strongly engourage you to give her space. theres much in scripture showing Jesus preaching the word and letting people decide. even after preaching the word andf being put to death, still unbelievers. then on ther day of pentacost peter was preaching. ill let ya read about what happened in Acts.
I would also encourage you to work on forgiveness. theres good scripture on forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Mark 11:25
nd whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
one more thing to think about:
Ecclesiastes 7:20
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins
keep God #1 in your life. continue to pray for her.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 413
Fantasyland yes, and a little bit of a need to be the hero. I agree with Hopeful that you dodged a bullet, even if you don't realize it yet.
It might be a good time to look within and see what the payoff was in this relationship for you. This may help you uncover patterns that you might want to work on. Focusing on others and hoping to change them becomes very painful after a while.
It might be a good time to look within and see what the payoff was in this relationship for you. This may help you uncover patterns that you might want to work on. Focusing on others and hoping to change them becomes very painful after a while.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
jj, welcome to SR--it can be a great resource for learning and support about alcoholism. Can I suggest reading some of the stickied threads at the top of the page? There's a lot of concentrated wisdom there. Here are a couple of threads you might want to check out to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-they-do.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-need-fix.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I know that the suggestions to focus on yourself rather than her probably sound nuts right now, but truly, as you learn more, you'll begin to see why people say that. Educating yourself about alcoholism as well as about codependence will likely begin to shine a lot of light on what's going on with this whole situation.
Again, welcome to SR, and I hope you find help here. Wishing you strength and clarity.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-they-do.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-need-fix.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I know that the suggestions to focus on yourself rather than her probably sound nuts right now, but truly, as you learn more, you'll begin to see why people say that. Educating yourself about alcoholism as well as about codependence will likely begin to shine a lot of light on what's going on with this whole situation.
Again, welcome to SR, and I hope you find help here. Wishing you strength and clarity.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Recovery for an addict is difficult.
I can only tell you what I have heard, since I'm not an alcoholic myself:
When you drink, as an alcoholic, you dull your emotions. When you stop drinking, your emotions become really BIG. Like overwhelmingly big. And dealing with them without resorting to your "usual" way (drinking) can take a LOT of energy.
One coworker who went to rehab while we were working together did NOTHING after he got out of rehab -- other than going to meetings, work, and sleep. He went to AT LEAST one meeting a day for a very long time. He needed to hear from other alcoholics that it was possible to stay sober, and that hell-on-earth returned if they relapsed. He needed that support every day. He barely interacted with his wife or his kids for the first... 9 months or so. Maybe a year.
I think in your situation, maybe taking a step back and giving her some space would be a loving thing you could choose to do. Don't call and text her every day. Tell her, if you wish, that you will stop doing that, and that when she feels ready, she can contact you and you can both see where you are in your lives.
And then take care of yourself. It's easy to feel used and trampled by an addict -- try not to take it personally.
I can only tell you what I have heard, since I'm not an alcoholic myself:
When you drink, as an alcoholic, you dull your emotions. When you stop drinking, your emotions become really BIG. Like overwhelmingly big. And dealing with them without resorting to your "usual" way (drinking) can take a LOT of energy.
One coworker who went to rehab while we were working together did NOTHING after he got out of rehab -- other than going to meetings, work, and sleep. He went to AT LEAST one meeting a day for a very long time. He needed to hear from other alcoholics that it was possible to stay sober, and that hell-on-earth returned if they relapsed. He needed that support every day. He barely interacted with his wife or his kids for the first... 9 months or so. Maybe a year.
I think in your situation, maybe taking a step back and giving her some space would be a loving thing you could choose to do. Don't call and text her every day. Tell her, if you wish, that you will stop doing that, and that when she feels ready, she can contact you and you can both see where you are in your lives.
And then take care of yourself. It's easy to feel used and trampled by an addict -- try not to take it personally.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by jjtwincities
Her parents are alcoholics as well.
I am the only spiritual supportive influence in her life and I decided not to ditch her. I decided to actually be there for her.
Sorry if that is living in fantasy land.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
JJ,
Pray for guidance. Consider carefully you posted here and every Angel responded telling you to watch out for various red flags. If you list out all the red flags in this thread, you yourself are like an octopus waving in a plane.
Pray for guidance. Consider carefully you posted here and every Angel responded telling you to watch out for various red flags. If you list out all the red flags in this thread, you yourself are like an octopus waving in a plane.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you only knew her for "about" three months! 90 days. and while you two seemed to hit off and spend a LOT of time together, the fact that she had an alcohol problem managed to escape you. then she's off to rehab, after doing a disappearing act. so this time you thought was so wonderful was probably some of the most messed up confusing days in her young life. people aren't singing show tunes the day they check in to rehab, stuff has had to get seriously mucked up first. SERIOUSLY.
then she gets out and ditches you. she said to you that she is focusing on herself, the relationship isn't right and wished you well.
she ENDED it. its OVER. these things happen. we don't get what we want even IF we pray about it. if you can't let go of someone you barely knew, that might be something worth investigating deeper.
you were NOT the only person in her life. or her salvation. in fact she might have found your "most loving guy ever" thing a bit over to the top and smothering.
let her go. wish her well on HER journey. and watch out how quickly you fall the next time.
then she gets out and ditches you. she said to you that she is focusing on herself, the relationship isn't right and wished you well.
she ENDED it. its OVER. these things happen. we don't get what we want even IF we pray about it. if you can't let go of someone you barely knew, that might be something worth investigating deeper.
you were NOT the only person in her life. or her salvation. in fact she might have found your "most loving guy ever" thing a bit over to the top and smothering.
let her go. wish her well on HER journey. and watch out how quickly you fall the next time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 213
jj ,
I go in spurts here of reading and sometimes participating and sharing. I first want to say welcome, and thank you for being so open and honest. Some of us codies have learned to live with a secret and kept it well, others have not. Some have learned to break free of their secret.
I want to say that everyone here is very sincere and want for others to succeed at having a peaceful and restful life with the A in their life. That being said EVERYTHING that is said to you is said with that sincere desire. Don't listen to what the tone that you think it might be said in, it's all about sharing with you. A couple posts up you seemed a little taken aback or defensive and I want you to know that nothing is said in spite.
When I first came here (under a different name) I spilled my guts about how miserable I was and angry and blah blah blah, I don't remember who, but, somebody asked me: "What makes you think anything is going to change? It will just progress because that is what alcohol is ... a progressive disease. It won't get better."
I turned the computer off and left in a huff with my feelings hurt. However, when I came back the next day I realized that the person was only speaking truth, and who knows maybe trying to help hurry me along in facing the truth.
Read what these people have to say. They are smart and they are loving. Join us and continue to share. Because your story can help others.
I go in spurts here of reading and sometimes participating and sharing. I first want to say welcome, and thank you for being so open and honest. Some of us codies have learned to live with a secret and kept it well, others have not. Some have learned to break free of their secret.
I want to say that everyone here is very sincere and want for others to succeed at having a peaceful and restful life with the A in their life. That being said EVERYTHING that is said to you is said with that sincere desire. Don't listen to what the tone that you think it might be said in, it's all about sharing with you. A couple posts up you seemed a little taken aback or defensive and I want you to know that nothing is said in spite.
When I first came here (under a different name) I spilled my guts about how miserable I was and angry and blah blah blah, I don't remember who, but, somebody asked me: "What makes you think anything is going to change? It will just progress because that is what alcohol is ... a progressive disease. It won't get better."
I turned the computer off and left in a huff with my feelings hurt. However, when I came back the next day I realized that the person was only speaking truth, and who knows maybe trying to help hurry me along in facing the truth.
Read what these people have to say. They are smart and they are loving. Join us and continue to share. Because your story can help others.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5
I know. I get what people are saying. i'm def not offended or taken back. I knew what to expect when I decided to post my situation on here. I'm absorbing everything every single person on here has replied to my situation about. It's all good! I read alot on here before deciding to make an account and write about what's going on. I know everything being said is with love. I am grateful for the bluntness of some. No reason in beating around the bushes with their opinions. I know it's meant to help
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
I have this sign over my computer so I see it everyday.
Definition of stupid
Knowing the truth
seeing the truth,but still believing the lies...
I'm not in anyway shape or form calling you stupid. This sign helps me remember for myself.
Definition of stupid
Knowing the truth
seeing the truth,but still believing the lies...
I'm not in anyway shape or form calling you stupid. This sign helps me remember for myself.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
hhhmmmm, sounds like my "Manual of Style" could use some improvement. 
Spent the last month working with Marines at Lockheed. Another month to go. Really brings out my Army cutting-edge a-holeness. Great guys, I really like them, but it is a hard-edge environment, even though everyone likes each other.
Sorry about that.
Spent the last month working with Marines at Lockheed. Another month to go. Really brings out my Army cutting-edge a-holeness. Great guys, I really like them, but it is a hard-edge environment, even though everyone likes each other.
Sorry about that.
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